What if conflict isn't the enemy of intimacy—but unrepaired conflict is? In Episode 11 of From Codependence to Christ-Dependence, Dr. Barbara Jean Lowe Sauvé explores one of the most misunderstood truths in Christian marriage and relationships: Repair is not just a relationship skill—it is a spiritual discipline. In this deeply integrative episode, we weave together: Parts work (managers, firefighters, exiles) Attachment science and nervous-system regulation Gottman's Four Horsemen and the Aftermath of a Regrettable Incident Scripture, desert spirituality, and the life of Jesus Why God must be our primary attachment—not our spouse You'll learn: Why marriage doesn't create dysfunction—but powerfully activates it How criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling map directly onto our protective parts Why contempt is despair turned outward—and the seed of betrayal How repair restores intimacy only when fear is replaced with love Why the desert fathers and mothers understood something we've forgotten: human relationships collapse under needs only God can carry This episode includes:

• A full, step-by-step Aftermath of a Regrettable Incident process (with Scripture)
• A deep attachment-reordering encounter with the Father
• A call to surrender false attachments and return home to God

"Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will take me up." — Psalm 27:10 RESOURCES & NEXT STEPS Self-Parenting Guide: drbarbaraministries.org/self-parent Pastoral Coaching (Christian worldview): drbarbaraministries.org → Coaching

This episode is part of our From Codependence to Christ-Dependence series, and it is SO rich.

Marriage isn't just two people in love. It's two nervous systems, two histories, two attachment patterns, and two sets of wounded and protective parts trying to feel safe. In this powerful episode, Dr. Barbara Jean Lowe Sauvé takes parts-work out of the therapy room and into the sacred space of marriage—integrating attachment science, neuroscience, Gottman research, physics, and Scripture to show why conflict repeats, why codependency forms, and how Christ restores secure attachment. You'll learn why: • Most marital conflict is perpetual (and why that's actually hopeful) • Codependency is often the attempt to regulate someone else's nervous system • Attachment panic—not immaturity—drives many marital fights • Flooding shuts down logic, empathy, and repair • Marriage was never meant to replace God as our primary attachment figure And most importantly—you'll learn how Jesus heals attachment wounds and re-anchors marriage in peace, not panic.

Building directly on Episode 8, Unmasked and Unashamed, this episode explores: • why shame lives in the body • how trauma creates state-dependent "child parts" • the neuroscience behind performance, burnout, and collapse • why willpower fails — and grace heals • how Jesus restores safety to the nervous system With biblical depth, neuroscience, and a gentle inner-healing encounter, this episode invites you to stop earning safety and begin receiving it. "The Spirit of the Lord is upon Me… to heal the brokenhearted." (Isaiah 61 / Luke 4) Listen prayerfully. Share generously. If this helped you, please send it to a friend who is hurting — because that's how healing spreads.