In this episode, Michael Preston and Thomas Westenholz explore the concept of bids for connection in relationships, emphasising how recognising and responding to these moments can strengthen bonds and prevent misunderstandings. They discuss practical examples, the importance of awareness, and the impact of missed bids on emotional and physical health.

key topics

Bids for connection and their importance in relationships

Examples of bids for connection in daily life

The impact of missed bids on emotional and physical health

How to recognise and respond to bids for connection

The role of safety and trust in responding to bids

Consequences of ignoring bids and how to avoid them

The concept of sliding door moments in relationships

Practical tips for strengthening connection through small moments

takeaways

Bids for connection are small moments where partners seek attention and closeness.

Many bids go unnoticed or unresponded to, leading to emotional distance.

Responding to bids with curiosity and acknowledgement strengthens bonds.

Repeated missed bids can lead to feelings of rejection and physical pain.

Raising awareness of bids can prevent long-term damage to relationships.

guest name

Michael Preston and Thomas Westenholz

Chapters

00:00 Introduction and Overview of Bids for Connection

04:31 Understanding Bids for Connection

09:23 The Importance of Awareness in Relationships

13:58 Consequences of Missing Bids for Connection

18:49 Recognising Sliding Door Moments

22:59 The Impact of Criticism on Connection

27:34 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

resources

John Gottman - Sliding Door Moments - https://www.gottman.com/blog/sliding-door-moments/

Attachment Theory - https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/attachment-theory

Thomas Westenholz - l Website - https://coupletherapy.earth

EFT Couple Therapy Brighton & Hove