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Have you ever said, “Be quiet,” or “Stop crying,” and meant well — but noticed it shut things down rather than opened them up?
Aimed at caregivers, educators, and parents, this thought-provoking episode shows how subtle shifts in language can transform your connection with the people you support — from young children to adults.
This isn’t about being “soft.” It’s about being smart with your words. Learn how to move from control to connection, from correction to collaboration.
The Able to Care podcast is proudly supported by Order your card today
Andy’s book: Targeting the Positive with Behaviours That Challenge
Podcast hub: www.able-training.co.uk/podcast
The way we phrase things shapes behaviour and safety.
Small changes in words lead to big changes in connection.
Words don’t just describe reality — they create it.
00:00 – Introduction: Why the words we use matter
00:43 – Sponsor: Carers Card UK
01:50 – Connection vs control: The impact of phrases like “Stop crying”
02:14 – How language reflects mindset and changes how others see themselves
03:12 – Language as emotional regulation and safety cue
04:44 – Trauma-informed language: Validating vs dismissing distress
05:49 – Replacing correction with collaboration
06:36 – Building a growth mindset with words
07:53 – Avoiding minimisation: Why “it’s not that hard” can harm
08:28 – Reframing “mess” and “behaviour” in play and exploration
09:38 – The principle of positive phrasing: Say what you want to see
10:19 – The TARGET model: How to reflect and shift language patterns
11:14 – Final thought: Every word is a seed — plant safety, not fear
You’ll gain practical, everyday language swaps that calm instead of escalate
You’ll reflect on your own communication habits and how they shape behaviour
You’ll understand how trust and safety are built one phrase at a time
You’ll be better equipped to help children or adults feel seen, heard and respected
If you’re a parent, teacher, carer, or support worker, this episode will leave you thinking differently about what you say — and why it matters.
📲 Instagram: @AbleTraining
By Able Training Support LtdHave you ever said, “Be quiet,” or “Stop crying,” and meant well — but noticed it shut things down rather than opened them up?
Aimed at caregivers, educators, and parents, this thought-provoking episode shows how subtle shifts in language can transform your connection with the people you support — from young children to adults.
This isn’t about being “soft.” It’s about being smart with your words. Learn how to move from control to connection, from correction to collaboration.
The Able to Care podcast is proudly supported by Order your card today
Andy’s book: Targeting the Positive with Behaviours That Challenge
Podcast hub: www.able-training.co.uk/podcast
The way we phrase things shapes behaviour and safety.
Small changes in words lead to big changes in connection.
Words don’t just describe reality — they create it.
00:00 – Introduction: Why the words we use matter
00:43 – Sponsor: Carers Card UK
01:50 – Connection vs control: The impact of phrases like “Stop crying”
02:14 – How language reflects mindset and changes how others see themselves
03:12 – Language as emotional regulation and safety cue
04:44 – Trauma-informed language: Validating vs dismissing distress
05:49 – Replacing correction with collaboration
06:36 – Building a growth mindset with words
07:53 – Avoiding minimisation: Why “it’s not that hard” can harm
08:28 – Reframing “mess” and “behaviour” in play and exploration
09:38 – The principle of positive phrasing: Say what you want to see
10:19 – The TARGET model: How to reflect and shift language patterns
11:14 – Final thought: Every word is a seed — plant safety, not fear
You’ll gain practical, everyday language swaps that calm instead of escalate
You’ll reflect on your own communication habits and how they shape behaviour
You’ll understand how trust and safety are built one phrase at a time
You’ll be better equipped to help children or adults feel seen, heard and respected
If you’re a parent, teacher, carer, or support worker, this episode will leave you thinking differently about what you say — and why it matters.
📲 Instagram: @AbleTraining