The Hidden Why Podcast

In this solo segment I talk about decisions, and why the hardest part of doing anything is simply starting. I share a 4.30am swim that reminded me how keeping small promises to yourself builds follow-through. I also explain why cutting your daily decisions down to a few things that match your values makes it easier to say yes and no. You'll learn how to choose your three, put boundaries around them, and make the first step so small that starting is easy.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

1. The biggest barrier is the decision to start. Once you begin, the task is rarely as hard as putting it off made it feel. Every promise you keep to yourself makes the next one easier to keep.
2. Fewer decisions lead to better decisions. Choose a few things that match your values, like movement, gratitude and meditation in the morning, or your top three priorities for the day. Park everything else.
3. Protect your three and keep them simple. Put a boundary around them, such as keeping your phone out of the bedroom. Then shrink the first step: sleep in your exercise gear, put your shoes by the bed, or just go and dip your feet in the pool.

YOUR 72-HOUR ACTION Tonight, before bed, make tomorrow's decisions for you. Choose three simple things for your morning, like a walk, three gratitudes and five minutes of stillness. Lay out what you need, and put your phone in another room. Then write down your top three priorities for the day in order, one, two and three, and block time for them in your calendar. Do the same for the next three nights. If you only get priority one done, count it as a win.

REFLECTION Notice → Act → Reflect Before you start, ask yourself: what decision am I putting off, and what is the smallest possible first step? After three days, ask: which of my three did I keep, and what got easier once I'd started?

IN THIS EPISODE Awareness, sleep tracking and better choices The 4.30am swim and keeping promises to yourself Why the hardest part is starting Fewer decisions, aligned with your values Choosing your three and building boundaries around them Making step one ridiculously small (James Clear's approach) Top three priorities for the day, week and month

LINKS Get the free Life Compass Worksheet: [worksheet link] Explore the Ultimate Life Map Framework: [Framework page link] Mentioned: Atomic Habits by James Clear, and my episode with James Clear [episode link] Connect: thehiddenwhy.com, Instagram, Facebook or Messenger

What if the emotions we're constantly trying to avoid are actually an essential part of living a meaningful life?

In this episode of The Hidden Why Podcast, I sit down with Daniel Smith, author of Hard Feelings, to explore our complicated relationship with emotions such as shame, regret, envy, boredom, annoyance, and despair, and why learning to acknowledge them might be one of the most important things we can do for our wellbeing.

We live in a culture that often encourages us to be happy, positive, productive, and emotionally in control. But what happens when life doesn't feel that way? Daniel challenges the idea that difficult emotions are inherently negative or something we need to overcome. Instead, he invites us to become more curious about what we're feeling and to recognise that discomfort is a natural part of being human.

Together, we explore emotional awareness, vulnerability, masculinity, mental health, and the pressures of modern society. We also discuss why acknowledging painful feelings doesn't mean being consumed by them, and how therapy, mindfulness, and honest conversations can help us develop a healthier relationship with our inner lives.

This is a thoughtful conversation about letting go of the pressure to feel good all the time and learning to live more honestly, openly, and fully.

In This Episode, We Explore

• Why Daniel wrote Hard Feelings and what inspired his curiosity about difficult emotions

• How shame, regret, envy, boredom, annoyance, and despair shape our everyday lives

• Why labelling emotions as simply positive or negative can limit our understanding of them

• The difference between acknowledging painful emotions and becoming overwhelmed by them

• How suppressing or hiding feelings can disconnect us from ourselves and others

• The Buddhist concept of the "second arrow" and how judging ourselves for suffering creates additional pain

• Why social media and the self-help industry can promote unrealistic expectations of happiness

• How political uncertainty, climate concerns, and social pressures influence our emotional wellbeing

• Why emotional honesty and vulnerability are not signs of weakness, particularly for men

• The relationship between masculinity, fear, control, and emotional expression

• How mindfulness and meditation can help us recognise emotions without immediately reacting

• Why therapy can provide a safe environment for exploring difficult feelings

• The role of medication and other clinical treatments in supporting people experiencing significant mental health challenges

Key Takeaways

✅ Difficult emotions are part of being human. Shame, envy, regret, and sadness aren't necessarily problems to eliminate. They are experiences worth understanding.

✅ Acceptance can reduce unnecessary suffering. The pain we experience is often made worse by judging ourselves for feeling it.

✅ You don't have to fix every feeling. Sometimes simply noticing and naming an emotion is enough to begin changing your relationship with it.

✅ Constant happiness is an unrealistic expectation. Social media and popular self-help messages can create pressure to feel positive even when life is genuinely difficult.

✅ Vulnerability is a form of strength. Emotional honesty, particularly among men, can encourage deeper connection, self-awareness, and healthier relationships.

✅ Support matters. Therapy, mindfulness, and appropriate mental health treatment can help people navigate emotions that feel difficult to manage alone.

About Daniel Smith

Daniel Smith is an author whose writing explores anxiety, mental health, emotional experience, and the complexities of being human.

His book Hard Feelings examines emotions that society often encourages us to avoid, including shame, regret, envy, boredom, annoyance, and despair.

Drawing on personal experience and his curiosity about the human mind, Daniel challenges conventional ideas about happiness and emotional wellbeing, encouraging readers to approach their inner lives with greater honesty, awareness, and compassion.

His earlier writing has also explored anxiety and the experience of hearing voices.

Resources & Links

📘 Hard Feelings By Daniel Smith. Available through major booksellers.

📚 More Books by Daniel Smith Explore Daniel's writing on anxiety, mental health, and emotional experience.

🌐 Daniel Smith's Website https://smithmhc.com

🎧 The Hidden Why Podcast https://thehiddenwhy.com

Action From This Episode

The next time you experience a difficult emotion, resist the urge to immediately distract yourself, suppress it, or make it disappear.

Instead, pause and ask:

"What am I actually feeling right now, and can I allow myself to experience it without judging it?"

You don't need to analyse everything or find an immediate solution.

Simply notice the emotion. Give it a name. Allow yourself a little space to experience it.

As Daniel reminds us, life isn't about eliminating difficult feelings. It's about learning how to live fully alongside them.

Peace, passion, and purpose.

In this first solo segment, I share the morning routine that took me from rushing out the door, flat and unfulfilled, to starting each day centred, calm and on purpose. I break down GEM MAPS, my morning ritual of Gratitude, Exercise, Meditation, Motivation, Affirmations, planning and the one that matters most, START. It's not about getting up at 5am to prove anything. It's about one small change you can begin tomorrow, because how you start anything is how you finish everything.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

1. A morning routine isn't about ego or a 5am alarm. It's about giving yourself protected time before the phone, the emails and the rush, so you meet the day calmer and clearer.
2. GEM MAPS gives you six practices to build from: Gratitude, Exercise, Meditation, Motivation, Affirmations and Planning. Then Start is the final touch. You don't need all of them on day one, and what you do in each one can change as you find what works for you.
3. How you start anything is how you finish everything. Over time, a steady morning practice changes how you respond to the traffic, the tough feedback and the conflict that used to throw you.

YOUR 72-HOUR ACTION For the next three mornings, set your alarm 20 minutes earlier and keep your phone out of reach until that time is done. Choose one letter of GEM MAPS and do just that. You could write down three things you're grateful for, move your body for five minutes, or sit quietly and breathe. Don't aim for perfect. Just start.

REFLECTION Notice. Act. Reflect.

Before you start, ask yourself: how do my mornings set the tone for my day right now?

After three days, ask: what felt different about how I handled the day when it began with time for me?

RESOURCES & LINKS Get the free Life Compass Worksheet The 5am Club by Robin Sharma, and my episode with James Clear Connect: thehiddenwhy.com, Instagram @thehiddenwhypodcast or Messenger, or email [email protected]

Why are so many organisations investing in artificial intelligence but struggling to see meaningful results?

In this episode of The Hidden Why Podcast, I sit down with Dr. Gleb Tsipursky, author of The Psychology of AI Adoption at Work: From Resistance to Results, to explore the human side of AI adoption and why successful implementation requires much more than simply introducing new technology.

While businesses race to integrate AI into their operations, many overlook the psychological barriers that prevent employees from embracing it. Fear of job loss, uncertainty, professional identity, resistance to change, and a lack of confidence can all influence whether AI becomes a valuable tool or another expensive workplace initiative.

Together, we explore why traditional approaches to technology adoption often fail with AI, how leaders can create environments that encourage experimentation and learning, and why understanding human behaviour is essential to unlocking AI's potential.

This is a fascinating conversation about technology, psychology, leadership, and the future of work, with practical insights for anyone navigating the rapidly changing world of artificial intelligence.

In This Episode, We Explore

• Why so many workplace AI initiatives struggle to deliver meaningful business results

• How AI adoption differs from implementing traditional workplace technology

• Why top-down implementation often fails to create genuine employee engagement

• The psychological barriers preventing people from embracing AI

• Three common employee mindsets: AI alarmists, pragmatic resisters, and reluctant adopters

• How fears about job security and professional identity influence resistance to change

• Why leaders need to model AI adoption rather than simply demand it

• Creating a workplace culture where experimentation, curiosity, and learning are encouraged

• How to reduce the stigma associated with using AI at work

• What "AI work slop" is and why poorly implemented AI can reduce the quality of work

• Why effective AI training must be relevant to individual roles and responsibilities

• How clear governance and workplace policies can encourage responsible AI use

• Finding the balance between innovation, accountability, and human judgement

Key Takeaways

✅ AI adoption is a people challenge, not just a technology challenge. Understanding employee psychology is essential to successful implementation.

✅ Resistance often comes from fear and uncertainty. Concerns about job security, competence, and professional identity need to be acknowledged rather than dismissed.

✅ Leadership sets the tone. When leaders openly experiment with AI and share useful examples, they help create a culture of trust and learning.

✅ AI works best when employees are empowered to explore. Giving people opportunities to discover practical applications within their own workflows can create more meaningful results.

✅ Training matters. Without the right skills and understanding, AI can produce low-quality work that creates more problems than it solves.

✅ Clear guidelines support innovation. Responsible governance provides the boundaries employees need to experiment confidently while remaining accountable for their work.

About Dr. Gleb Tsipursky

Dr. Gleb Tsipursky is an author and expert in decision-making, behavioural science, and organisational change.

His work focuses on helping organisations navigate uncertainty, overcome cognitive biases, and make better decisions in rapidly changing environments.

In his book, The Psychology of AI Adoption at Work: From Resistance to Results, Dr. Tsipursky explores the psychological and behavioural challenges organisations face when introducing artificial intelligence into the workplace.

He examines why employees respond differently to AI, how leadership influences adoption, and what organisations can do to move beyond resistance towards meaningful engagement and measurable results.

His approach highlights the importance of understanding human behaviour, addressing workplace fears, and creating environments where people feel supported to learn, experiment, and adapt.

Resources & Links

📘 The Psychology of AI Adoption at Work: From Resistance to Results By Dr. Gleb Tsipursky. Available through major booksellers.

🎧 The Hidden Why Podcast https://thehiddenwhy.com

Action From This Episode

Take a moment to consider your own relationship with artificial intelligence.

Ask yourself:

"Am I approaching AI with curiosity and a willingness to learn, or am I allowing fear, uncertainty, or resistance to hold me back?"

Whether you're a leader, business owner, or employee, identify one task in your daily work where AI might genuinely help.

Experiment with it. Evaluate the results. Learn what works and what doesn't. And remember that technology is most valuable when it supports better thinking, better decisions, and more meaningful work.

The future of AI isn't just about what the technology can do. It's about how willing we are to learn, adapt, and grow alongside it.

Peace, passion, and purpose.

In this episode of The Hidden Why, I sit down with Ken Berenger — CEO, co-founder and co-chairman of Water on Demand®, with more than 35 years' experience across banking, investing and structured finance.

Ken's story starts with a job ad promising $30,000 a month. The son of an ironworker who helped build the New York City skyline, he walked onto Wall Street in 1990 with no point of reference and quickly discovered a rare gift for selling, and for teaching others to sell. The money came fast and easy, and it became his identity. Then the industry shifted, and before he turned 30 he had lost his income, his marriage and everything he believed made him worthy.

Ken has rebuilt more than once since then: through the 2008 mortgage crisis, and again after Superstorm Sandy put his Long Beach, New York business under water. We talk about the difference between self-worth and net worth, why our failures teach us more than our successes, how prayer, meditation and running on the beach helped him rebuild, and why he now keeps "looking downrange" rather than trusting the bubble.

We also went somewhere neither of us planned. Ken lost his father in January and, like me when I lost my dad, went straight back to work. He opens up about what that has cost him, what his father taught him about contentment, and why so many men never give themselves permission to grieve.

This is an honest, generous conversation about resilience, identity, grief and finding contentment beyond achievement.

In This Episode, We Explore

• Answering a "$30,000 a month" job ad and talking his way onto Wall Street

• How easy early success turned money into identity

• Losing his income, marriage and home before 30, and why it felt like losing himself

• Doing it for someone else when you don't feel worthy of a comeback yourself

• Turning to prayer, meditation, running and faith to rebuild

• Building a "universe" of transferable skills that makes you durable in business

• The 2008 mortgage crisis, Superstorm Sandy and starting again, again

• Staying out of the bubble: asking hard questions and looking downrange

• Fail early, fail often, fail small, and pivot quickly

• His father's lesson in contentment, and the cost of not grieving

Key Takeaways

• Who you are is bigger than what you earn or lose. As Ken puts it, "your self worth is not your net worth."
• "Failure is not fatal, and success is not permanent." Knowing you can survive a fresh start takes away much of its fear.
• Live below your means, and keep questioning your own biases, especially when everyone around you says everything's fine.
• Don't wait for desperation to test your dream. Start something on the side, make small mistakes and correct them quickly.
• Make room for grief and for quiet. Men are taught to be defenders, builders and protectors, but, in Ken's words, "we're not taught how to be broken for a minute."

About Ken Berenger

Ken Berenger is CEO, co-founder and co-chairman of Water on Demand®, a platform transforming decentralised wastewater infrastructure into an investable asset class. After joining the parent company as a contractor in 2018, Ken led the vision that culminated in forming Water on Demand in 2020, positioning decentralised water treatment at the centre of a broader decentralisation trend reshaping global infrastructure. He has guided corporate strategy, capital formation and market positioning, personally raising $21 million over the past two years to launch and scale the platform. Ken brings more than 35 years of experience across banking, investing and structured finance.

Resources & Links

Water on Demand Website

Ken on X

Water on Demand on X

Facebook

Instagram

LinkedIn

YouTube

🎧 Listen now on The Hidden Why Podcast and explore more episodes

Action from This Episode

This week, set aside 20 minutes with no phone, no music and no noise, and let yourself sit with your own thoughts, as Ken does. Then ask yourself: "If everything I've built disappeared tomorrow, would I still know who I am?"

In this episode of The Hidden Why, I sit down with Steven Ringelstein, founder and CEO of Evolve Institute, serial entrepreneur, former tech CEO for 17 years, and an executive coach for more than two decades, who now helps leaders move from a "3D" to a "5D" way of operating. Born in Israel, Steven spent his twenties chasing money at any cost: his health, his relationships, his time. At 28, everything he'd built disappeared overnight when a business partner moved the money offshore. He changed course and spent his thirties building tech companies he believed in, but he still didn't know how to slow down. In his forties, life stopped him again. A breakdown on his birthday, an unplanned trip into the Peruvian jungle, and then the collapse of his industry after September 11 brought him to his knees, and to three questions he has asked every day since: Who am I? Why am I here? What am I here to create? We explore where our definition of success really comes from, why more money and more assets didn't bring him freedom, and the difference between the 3D operating system of striving, problem-solving, and chasing, and a 5D way of living that starts with presence, contentment, and joy. Steven shares his simple rule for every decision, "do the loving thing", and practical ways to take off the "3D glasses" in everyday life. This is a thought-provoking, spiritual, and deeply human conversation about success, presence, purpose, and creating your own reality. His journey from chasing money at all costs in his twenties and losing everything at 28 to leaving aerospace to build technology companies that aimed to make a positive impact on the world. He shares how a breakdown at 40 led him on an unexpected journey to the Peruvian jungle, followed by an outer-world collapse after September 11. Through these experiences, he learned to channel, surrender, and let go of his business-driven mindset. He reflects on three powerful daily questions: Who am I? Why am I here? What am I here to create? He also examines where our ideas of success come from and why accumulating assets did not necessarily bring him freedom. The conversation introduces the difference between the 3D and 5D operating systems, explaining the shift from the traditional approach of Problem → Solution → Result to Possibility → State → Reality. He shares the importance of focusing just ten feet ahead and allowing presence to guide decisions rather than relying entirely on plans. Ultimately, he offers a simple yet powerful principle for navigating life and stepping out of conflict: "Do the loving thing." Key Topics Discussed: • Ask yourself every morning: Who am I? Why am I here? What am I here to create? The answer can be a single word for the day, such as "patient". • Success, in Steven's words, is "to have a full expression of who you really are in the world that is bounded by love." • Your attention is your biggest asset. Invest it in "the things that matter to you the most." • When you're stuck in a story about the future, come back to the present and ask, "What do I need right now?" As Steven puts it, "The guidance is quiet, and it's always in the moment." • Facing a hard choice or a conflict? Ask, "What's the loving thing to do?" About Steven Ringelstein: Steven Ringelstein is the founder and CEO of Evolve Institute, based in Boulder, Colorado, where he helps install a 5D operating system inside businesses and for the leaders who run them. A serial entrepreneur, he spent 17 years as CEO of tech companies and has dedicated 23 years in executive coaching to consciousness-based leadership development. He speaks on 5D operating systems, Soul Code and Source Code Leadership, operating from a state of coherence, and navigating the challenges of 3D reality, drawing on his 7 Intelligences and 4 Zones of Leadership frameworks. Steven is currently writing Remembrance: A Memoir of Awakening. Action from This Episode:

• Tomorrow morning, before you pick up your phone, ask yourself Steven's three questions: Who am I? Why am I here? What am I here to create?
• Write down the first word that comes, and let it guide your day.

Resources & Links: Website: Evolve Institute Connect with Steven Ringelstein: LinkedIn Instagram Facebook

In this episode of The Hidden Why, I sit down with Stacie Shifflett, founder of Modern Consciousness and Amazon bestselling author of Treasure Map to Joy: One Woman's Journey from Disruption to Joy. Stacie calls herself "a proficient student of life". Self-taught and endlessly curious, she has worked in hospitality and tech, run a construction company, raised award-winning llamas, and, with no capital of her own, made a phone call that led to the acquisition of a $50 million software company. Through every reinvention, she noticed that the mind running the show stayed the same. We explore the difference between happiness and joy, why "how you relate to joy is very revealing about how you relate to life", and how her Clarity Sequence helps people take an honest, holistic look at where they are and how they really want their life to feel. We also talk about false optimism, letting go of attachment to outcomes, and finding joy in small, present moments, even alongside grief. This is a warm, practical conversation about self-awareness, reinvention, and the quiet, foundational joy that's available to us even when life feels disrupted. We explore why Stacie wrote Treasure Map to Joy as a parable rather than a textbook and Maureen's journey through divorce and job loss, moving from disruption to joy. We discuss the difference between circumstantial happiness and foundational joy, how our relationship with joy reflects the way we relate to life, and how the Clarity Sequence helps assess ten areas of life before identifying aspirations. We also explore why aspirations are about how we want life to feel, not just what we want to achieve, and the two sides of false optimism: frenetic energy and stubbornness. The conversation reveals how a "crazy idea" and one phone call led to a $50 million acquisition, why recognizing our assumptions and asking better questions can create new possibilities, and how AI can help us articulate our thoughts without replacing our own thinking. Finally, we reflect on finding joy in the small, everyday moments, from a trip to the grocery store to watching a hummingbird at the feeder. Key Topics Discussed:

• Joy can sit underneath everything else in life. As Stacie puts it, "joy can still be a companion to us, even in tough or challenging times."
• We service our cars and see the doctor every year, yet rarely review our lives. "Why wait till then?"
• "Better questions create better possibilities." The problem we think we have often isn't the real problem.
• Disruption is a bump in the road, not the end of the road. Process the disappointment, but don't stay there.
• Sometimes the change you need isn't a big overhaul. It's a shift in perspective.

About Stacie Shifflett:

Stacie Shifflett is the founder of Modern Consciousness and an Amazon bestselling author of Treasure Map to Joy. She works with accomplished women who are succeeding by every outside measure but quietly wondering why it doesn't feel like enough. Through her Clarity Sequence, she helps them see exactly what's driving their results (the patterns, trade-offs, and blind spots running the show under the surface) so they can stop grinding on autopilot and start making changes that actually stick. Before entering personal development, Stacie built a varied career across tech, construction and farming, and she holds mastery certifications in NLP, ThetaHealing and High-Performance Coaching.

Action from This Episode:

• This week, find ten quiet minutes and ask yourself one question from Stacie's Clarity Sequence: "How do I want my life to feel?" Then notice one small moment each day where joy is already available, if you're present enough to catch it.

Resources & Links:

Get Stacie Shifflett's book on Amazon:

Treasure Map to Joy: One Woman's Journey from Disruption to Joy

Website:

modernconsciousness

Connect with Stacie Shifflett:

Instagram Facebook LinkedIn

In this episode of The Hidden Why Podcast, I sit down with Leslie Harter-Berg, writer, speaker, business owner, founder of Vids for Wids, and author of You're So Strong: On Grief and Letting Go of My Favorite Compliment. In 2019, Leslie was on a family holiday when her 34-year-old husband, Ryan, died suddenly following an aneurysm and stroke. In an instant, she became a young widow raising two boys, then aged three and one, while also taking responsibility for the business she and Ryan had built together. We talk about the messy reality of grief, why there is no correct way to move through loss, and how the pressure to appear strong can prevent people from giving themselves permission to fall apart. Leslie also shares how losing Ryan transformed her relationship with control, stress, success, parenting, and what really matters. This is a deeply human conversation about grief, but also about love, humour, surrender, and learning to live alongside something that never entirely leaves us. Leslie shares her experience of suddenly losing her husband, Ryan, at just 34, and explains why the familiar "five stages of grief" were never intended to be a neat checklist. She discusses how grief can move unpredictably between anger, denial, acceptance, sadness, and even joy, and why members of the same family may grieve differently and at completely different speeds. Leslie explores what people may unintentionally communicate when they tell someone, "You're so strong," and why true strength can sometimes mean allowing yourself to stop pretending you're fine. She shares her belief that the good doesn't have to make the bad worth it, and explains why every experience of death and grief brings its own "brand of terrible." The conversation also covers preparing for anniversaries, birthdays, holidays, and other emotionally difficult dates, helping children remain connected to the memory of a parent who has died, and the surprising importance of dark humour and connection with other widows. Leslie reflects on how loss changed her need for control and her definition of success, ultimately emphasizing that being gentle with yourself can sometimes be the most useful thing you can do. Key Topics Discussed:

• Grief isn't linear. There is no timetable, sequence, or correct way to experience losing someone.
• Being called strong can become a burden. Sometimes people need permission to struggle rather than another identity they feel responsible for
• Two truths can coexist. Life can contain profound joy without making a devastating loss somehow "worth it."
• People grieve differently. Even within the same family, one person may be laughing or celebrating while another is struggling deeply.
• Connection matters. Finding people who understand loss from lived experience can provide a kind of support others simply cannot replicate.
• Loss can change our relationship with control. When life demonstrates just how little we ultimately control, it can shift how much energy we give to stress, perfection, and things that don't really matter.

About Leslie Harter- Berg:

Leslie Harter-Berg is a writer, speaker, entrepreneur, and owner of the video production company Harter Creative.

After the sudden death of her husband Ryan in 2019, Leslie found herself navigating life as a young widow, single mum, and solo business owner. Her experience sparked a desire to better understand grief and help other widows feel less isolated in theirs.

She founded Vids for Wids, a nonprofit creating grief-related content and resources to help widows feel seen, understood, and less alone. Leslie is also the author of You're So Strong: On Grief and Letting Go of My Favorite Compliment, an exploration of grief, identity, resilience, and the complicated expectations placed on people after profound loss. Action from This Episode:

• Think about someone in your life who is going through grief or another difficult season.
• Instead of trying to fix their pain, explain it, find meaning in it, or remind them how strong they are, consider simply giving them permission to be exactly where they are.
• And if you're the person carrying something heavy, Leslie's advice to her younger self is beautifully uncomplicated:
• Take a nap. Slow down. Be gentle with yourself.
• You don't always have to be strong.
• Sometimes getting through today is enough.
• Peace, passion, and purpose.

Resources & Links: Get Leslie Harter-Berg's book on Amazon: You're So Strong: On Grief and Letting Go of My Favorite Compliment Website: Leslie Harter-Berg Connect with Leslie Harter- Berg: Instagram Facebook TikTok

In this episode of The Hidden Why Podcast, I sit down with Jennifer Shoop, writer, founder of Magpie by Jen Shoop, and author of Small Wonders: A Field Guide to Life's Quiet Joys, to explore the simple but increasingly difficult art of paying attention. Jen shares how her journey through academia, corporate life, motherhood, and writing gradually shifted her focus away from chasing a "big life" towards recognising the meaning already present in ordinary moments. We talk about attention, gratitude, creativity, motherhood, technology, ritual, and the tiny practices that can bring us back to where our feet actually are. This is a gentle reminder that fulfilment doesn't always require dramatic reinvention. Sometimes it begins by noticing the light on the floor, eating lunch away from your desk, stepping outside without your phone, or simply naming something small that you love. Jen explores why you don't need a "big life" to experience meaning, joy, and wonder, and how noticing the extraordinary in ordinary suburban life can cultivate gratitude. She shares how motherhood clarified what truly mattered and introduces the concept of plastic balls and glass balls when balancing life's competing priorities. Jen discusses how poetry, coffee, writing, and other meaningful rituals can slow our experience of time, protect our attention, and help us become more present through simple grounding practices. She also highlights the importance of sleep, movement, hydration, and time outdoors as foundations for wellbeing. Jen shares her daily practice of "shaking hands with a blank page," explaining why creativity grows through repetition rather than waiting for inspiration, how to begin writing when the blank page feels intimidating, and why releasing creative work also means letting go of control over how others receive it. Key Topics Discussed:

• You don't need a bigger life. Meaning can be found in the people, places, rituals, and ordinary moments already surrounding you.
• Attention changes experience. The more deliberately we notice small pleasures, the more available they become to us.
• Know what's glass and what's plastic. Not everything you're juggling deserves equal importance, and occasionally dropping something inconsequential is perfectly survivable.
• Ritual creates space. A phone-free lunch, thirty seconds outside, a morning coffee, or a brief body scan can interrupt the rush of the day.
• Creativity requires showing up. Jen's approach isn't to wait for the muse but to meet the blank page every day and keep narrowing the gap between ambition and ability.
• Once you create something, let it go. Your work eventually belongs to the person experiencing it. Your responsibility is to create the next thing.

About Jennifer Shoop: Jennifer Shoop is a writer and founder of the daily literary lifestyle blog Magpie by Jen Shoop. Her debut book, Small Wonders: A Field Guide to Life's Quiet Joys, brings together essays, musings, meditations, and poetry exploring attention, gratitude, family, creativity, and the beauty hidden inside everyday life. Jen holds an advanced degree in literature from Georgetown University and has worked across non-profit management, technology, and product design. Today, her writing explores the intersection between the creative life and the beautifully untidy realities of family, work, and motherhood. She lives in Bethesda, Maryland, with her husband, Landon, and their two children. Action from This Episode:

• For the next few days, practise something Jen describes beautifully: name one small thing you love each day.
• Nothing profound is required.
• The first leaves changing. A good cup of coffee. Your dog asleep beside you. Sunlight coming through a window. Someone filling your car with petrol. A conversation over lunch.
• Write it down or simply notice it deliberately.
• Then ask yourself:
• "How much of the life I'm searching for is already here, but I'm moving too quickly to notice it?"
• Perhaps a meaningful life isn't always something we have to build. Sometimes we just have to become better at seeing the one we're already living.
• Peace, passion, and purpose.

Resources & Links:

Get Jennifer Shoop's book on Amazon:

Small Wonders: A Field Guide to Life's Quiet Joys

Website:

Magpie by Jen Shoop

Connect with Jennifer Shoop:

Instagram

Facebook

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Linkedin

In this episode of The Hidden Why Podcast, I sit down with Dr. Suzan Song, adult and child psychiatrist, medical anthropologist, humanitarian adviser, and author of Why We Suffer and How We Heal. Drawing on more than two decades of working with children, families, refugees, and communities affected by war, displacement, and adversity, Suzan offers a fascinating perspective on what helps human beings endure difficult times and continue to find meaning, connection, and even joy. At the heart of our conversation are what Suzan calls the "three friends of winter": narrative, ritual, and purpose. Together, we explore why suffering isn't determined solely by what happens to us, how the stories we carry shape our experience, why belonging is essential to well-being, and what Western approaches to mental health may be missing. This is a powerful conversation about learning to live well without waiting for life to become easy.

Suzan's experience working with child soldiers, refugees, and survivors of extreme adversity. She explains why resilience doesn't mean being unaffected by difficult experiences, but rather learning how to continue moving forward despite them. We also explore how memories and unconscious narratives can influence our relationships, work, and everyday reactions, and why insight alone is often not enough to create lasting change.

The conversation also examines the role of ritual in helping us process grief, transition, uncertainty, and change. Suzan explains how small, everyday rituals can create emotional safety, connection, and a sense of stability during challenging times. We explore why high achievement doesn't necessarily lead to meaning or fulfilment, and how purpose, agency, belonging, and resilience are deeply connected. Suzan also shares insights into what Western approaches to mental health can learn from more community-oriented cultures, particularly when it comes to connection, collective support, and finding meaning through relationships with others.

The Three Friends of Winter

Suzan describes three powerful resources we can turn toward during life's difficult seasons: Narrative, Ritual, and Purpose. Narrative is about understanding the story by becoming aware of the stories, memories, and assumptions that shape how we interpret what is happening to us. Ritual is about embodying change through meaningful actions and transitions that help us process experiences rather than simply thinking our way through them. Purpose is about finding direction by connecting ourselves to something beyond achievement and understanding where and how we matter to others. Together, these three elements can help us continue living meaningfully, even when uncertainty remains.

Key Topics Discussed:

• Suffering isn't only about what happens to us. The meaning and expectations we attach to an experience can profoundly shape how we
• We don't need to wait for life to become stable before we start living. Joy, love, contribution, and meaning can exist alongside uncertainty.
• Insight needs action. Understanding our patterns matters, but rituals help translate awareness into lived change.
• Belonging is fundamental to wellbeing. Healing isn't always an individual project; relationships and community matter enormously.
• Purpose doesn't have to be grand. Sometimes it begins with a much simpler question: Who do I matter to, and how?

About Dr. Suzan Song: Dr. Suzan Song, MD, PhD, is an adult and child psychiatrist, medical anthropologist, author, and humanitarian adviser. For more than two decades, she has worked with children, families, and communities affected by war, forced displacement, trafficking, and adversity around the world. Her work bridges psychiatry, anthropology, global humanitarian policy, and human development, exploring how individuals and communities can cultivate agency, belonging, resilience, and flourishing even amid profound uncertainty. She is the author of Why We Suffer and How We Heal, which explores how narrative, ritual, and purpose can help us navigate life's inevitable challenges. Action from This Episode:

• Take a moment today and consider Suzan's question:
• "Who do I matter to, or who do I want to matter to, and how?"
• Then choose one small action that expresses that purpose.
• It might be calling someone, helping a colleague, spending uninterrupted time with your family, contributing to your community, or simply being more present with another person.
• Purpose doesn't always arrive as some magnificent calling.
• Sometimes it's found in remembering that we matter to one another.
• Peace, passion, and purpose.

Resources & Links:

Get Dr. Suzan Song's book on Amazon:

Why We Suffer and How We Heal: Using Narrative, Ritual, and Purpose to Flourish Through Life's Challenges

Website:

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