Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare, David Walker and Jack Pitt-Brooke for a special January transfer window project: selecting a lineup of players who somehow never turned out for particular clubs.
The selection panel throw around thoughts such as which Old Firm club would have signed Mark Bosnich, just what it is about Younes Kaboul that suits QPR so much, how is it possible that Wayne Routledge spent ten years at Swansea, Peter Crouch: pure Fulham and much, much more.
Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel appreciate some incredible pub-chat footballspeak, admire Ally McCoist and Andy Townsend in their element on Talksport and listen to a politician colliding with football yet again, with predictably horrific results.
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The 'How Did [Player X] Never Play for [Club Y]?' XI

The all-new home of the Football Clichés podcast.
Adam Hurrey explores the glorious and unique language of football: the words, the phrases, the mannerisms and, above all, the clichés.

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Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker field this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations.
Among the selections are the slow-motion facial expression of choice for a missed chance, why players don't take practice swings before dead-ball situations, the cynical optical illusion of double advertising hoardings and the scourge of fantasy XIs that have no tactical balance.
Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel reflect on Ange Postecoglou's emotional week, some more bemoaning of underappreciated English managers and the secret behind Manchester City's era of Premier League dominance.
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Hi-tech hoardings & tactically illiterate World XIs: The listeners' loves & hates

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: mangled football chants in sportswear adverts, a textbook crisis-deepener for Manchester United, some re-recorded commentary curiosity, more Football Names in Things and a brief history of last pieces of Premier League jigsaws. 
Meanwhile, the panel examine a use of "who else but" for a goalscorer in ice hockey and reassess the "a goal worthy of" threshold.
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The Adjudication Panel: "Why can't they go on and win it?"

Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Tom Williams on a midweek Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: 1930s musical-inspired chants for Premier League right-backs, the mystery player behind a Premier League Player of the Month trophy on eBay, an unlikely after-dinner-speaking football duo, a perfectly-preserved cultural artefact in the men's toilets at Tranmere Rovers, why the EFL needs to fix its promotion-celebration banners, and much more.
Meanwhile, the panel enjoy one of European football's cult controversies from Tom's new book Va-Va-Voom: The Modern History of French Football and hear how France has embraced Premier League club nicknames.

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The Adjudication Panel: Mid-2000s Premier League antiques & how the square goalpost met its end

Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Nick Miller for the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: Erling Haaland confounds football's obsession with the star-rating system, Sky Sports News hunting down Arne Slot, Jamie Carragher on the Toy Story franchise, Peter Crouch misunderstanding rollercoasters and Keys & Gray's new refereeing admin nemesis is revealed.
Meanwhile, the panel enjoy an above-average moment for football analogies in the political sphere.
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The Adjudication Panel: Four-star Haaland & the most elaborate football analogy in modern politics

The pod welcomes Gary Lineker for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Match of the Day host and England legend chooses his six personal fascinations and irritations of football.
Among Gary's selections are his growing curiosity about expected goals, the psychology of penalty shootouts, the death of strikers rounding goalkeepers, a not-so-radical solution for quick free kicks, overindulgent TV slow-motion replays and the futile duty of pre-match interviews with managers.
Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel bemoan the misuse of "high-flying" for teams who don't need it and ask Gary a very important question about a Match of the Day tradition.

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The 'How Did [Player X] Never Play for [Club Y]?' XI

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