Football Cliches

By Adam Hurrey & Goalhanger

What's Football Cliches about?

The all-new home of the Football Clichés podcast.

Adam Hurrey explores the glorious and unique language of football: the words, the phrases, the mannerisms and, above all, the clichés.

Download our free app to listen on your phone

Football Cliches episodes:

05.02.2024
Gary Lineker meets Cliches: Why aren't strikers rounding the goalkeeper any more?
The pod welcomes Gary Lineker for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Match of the Day host and England legend chooses his six personal fascinations and irritations of football. Among Gary's selections are his growing curiosity about expected...
04.29.2024
The Adjudication Panel: Winning the "hard way" and the Missing Piece of the Jigsaw XI
Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: whether Arsenal won the north London derby "the hard way", when Sarcastic Pep becomes impossible to separate from Normal Pep, commentators answering their...
04.25.2024
The Football Cliches Quiz XII - The Totally Football Show
The Football Clichés Quiz is back once again and this month the Clichés team welcome their latest podcast challengers in the form of the Totally Football Show's Michael Cox, Jay Harris and Sasha Goryunov. The questions include managers who just know...
04.22.2024
The Adjudication Panel: "Some bloke sat in a booth near the M4 with a fancy protractor"
Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: some commentary highlights from the FA Cup semi-finals, a classic anti-VAR put-down, a surprise trumpet player on a George Michael album, football chat...
04.17.2024
All-English European ties & post-goal iPad analysis: The listeners' loves & hates
Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker field the listeners' April entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. Among the selections are the hapless but unifying body language of a player who...
04.15.2024
The Adjudication Panel: "What a horse he was, by the way"
Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: players forgetting it's a cup game in their post-match interview, notably young referees, Wayne Rooney's childhood Match of the Day dream, Barclays-era referees...
04.11.2024
Sizeable hillocks & nightclubbing with McCoist: Jon Champion does Mesut Haaland Dicks
The pod welcomes commentator Jon Champion for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks, as he chooses his six personal fascinations and irritations of football. Among Jon's selections are Ally McCoist's sheer enthusiasm for football (and life), the romance of the...
04.08.2024
The Adjudication Panel: James Ward-Prowse Territories & hasty Panenkas
Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: James Ward-Prowse making the podcast eat its words, some subversive penalty commentary, some harsh words for a 50-yard clearance upfield, some rare footballers...
04.03.2024
The Adjudication Panel: Elland Road trigonometry & the Footballers Called Pete crisis
Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on a midweek Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: a much-needed abbreviation for the business end of the EFL campaign, some autopilot content with the Brazilian Ronaldo, an audiobook voiceover artist...
04.01.2024
The Adjudication Panel: We've said 'come and listen to this podcast' and you've said 'thank you very much, I will’
Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Nick Miller for the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: Jude Bellingham staying one step ahead of the England news cycle, a suitably literal analysis of the chant "Is this a library?", whether...
03.28.2024
The Football Cliches Quiz #11
The Football Clichés Quiz is back once again as the Clichés team welcome their latest podcast challengers in the form of Scottish football experts The Terrace for a three-round Battle of Britain. The questions include international allegiance switchers, potentially Satanic backwards...
03.26.2024
The Adjudication Panel: Among the assists, prime players & the tormentor-in-chief scale
Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: Being "among the goals" (and, even worse, "among the assists"), whether Endrick really did "light up Wembley", if friendlies count as the "Road...
03.21.2024
Centre-backs leading the line, overlapping kick-off time angst, and long-range near post goal aesthetics
Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker field the listeners' March entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. Among the selections are the quiet honour of spotting how much added time there...
03.19.2024
The Adjudication Panel: Pivotal wins, corners in a dangerous position, and the Factory of Sadness
Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: Jonathan Pearce's most Partridge moment to date, the parameters of a "pivotal" win, some inspired sleep-related footballspeak from Matty Cash, and the first...
03.14.2024
The Adjudication Panel: Agemates, locksmiths & Alan Curbishley's garden
Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on a midweek Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: footballspeak in the darts world, Rio Ferdinand on locksmiths, League One clubs tweeting like heartbroken teenagers, football-inspired parenting and some planning permission...
03.12.2024
The Adjudication Panel: "Over to you [Title Rival X]" & Knuckleball on Corrie
Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Nick Miller for the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: Guy Mowbray slips back into footballspeak on Gladiators, some free-kick technique on Coronation Street, the use of "over to you" in Premier League...
03.07.2024
The Adjudication Panel: Great White Shark 0 Killer Whale 1 (72 mins)
Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for a midweek Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: a new twist for "the streets will never forget", news of a textbook away win for a killer whale, some baffling Football...
03.05.2024
The Adjudication Panel: the Haaland missed sitter incredulity
Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: a comprehensive review of the Haaland missed sitter incredulity, footballspeak finding its way into the World Indoor Athletics Championships, the great gap vs...
02.29.2024
The Football Cliches Quiz X
The Football Clichés Quiz returns for its tenth edition and, for the first time, the Clichés pod team up to take on the trivia might of the Career We Go Podcast across six rounds of niche football knowledge. Posers include clubs...
02.27.2024
The Adjudication Panel: G-Nev's adjectives, cynical finishes & gobbling up chances
Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: Gary Neville breaking an obscure rule of the English language, "doing the hard bit" before delivering a cross, unexpected Serie A references on...
02.22.2024
The Adjudication Panel: Lithuanian ultimate frisbee & how to divide up a league table
Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for a midweek Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: the cut-off point for being able to say you work "in football", some curious commentary from the Lithuanian ultimate frisbee scene, a...
02.20.2024
The Adjudication Panel: Sensory football, a 27-second bright start & the war on socks
Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: the shortest bright start ever made to a football match, mid-2000s Man Utd workhorses popping up in US crime serials, the most cited...
02.15.2024
”Genuine height", European banana skins and the listeners' fascinations & irritations
Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker field the listeners' February entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. Among the selections are mishit shots that turn into crossfield passes, players going to...
02.13.2024
The Adjudication Panel: Midfield "quarterbacks" & Montell Jordan's right-backs
Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: The precise moment we allow ourselves to tell a goalbound free kick to "go on", a soap opera commanders a Premier League cultural...
02.08.2024
Les Dennis, paintbrush volleys & the Quiz Question XI
Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: Les Dennis questions “the woodwork”, a never-before-heard alternative to "meat and drink", a prescient 2016 interview by Harry Redknapp, some unexpected footballer names...
02.06.2024
The Adjudication Panel: Horror shows, title blows and “different custard”
Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: the parameters for a goalkeeping "horror show", Turkish footballer names in Scandinavian crime dramas, the rigid language of Chelsea home defeats, the charmingly...
02.01.2024
Ref sandwiches, "teapot finishes" & the Premier League Mid-Point XI
Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: Chris Wilder's curious refereeing complaint, an uncertain start to Mark Clattenburg's Gladiators role, an unexpected commentator's name on Silent Witness, and Tony Gale...
01.30.2024
The Adjudication Panel: FA Cup illusions & Andy Townsend’s octopus goalie
Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: a fascinating audio illusion from West Brom vs Wolves, Ally McCoist & Andy Townsend's analysis of an Animal XI, commentator Jonathan Pearce ruins...
01.25.2024
The Adjudication Panel: The Lampardian Transition, 2014-2024
Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for a midweek Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: Frank Lampard finally acknowledging his niche habit, some textbook crowd scenes at the snooker, the commentary hero of AFCON 2024 so far,...
01.23.2024
The Adjudication Panel: Footholds, foreign contingents & death metal midfielders
Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: The criteria for a club looking to "kick on from here", a Canadian take on the cold, wet Tuesday night in Stoke, a...
01.18.2024
The 'How Did [Player X] Never Play for [Club Y]?' XI
Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare, David Walker and Jack Pitt-Brooke for a special January transfer window project: selecting a lineup of players who somehow never turned out for particular clubs. The selection panel throw around thoughts such as which...
01.16.2024
The Adjudication Panel: The most Premier League fixture there never was
Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: some glorious urging-to-shoot from Watford's away fans, Seamus Coleman and the most loyal 3.67 seconds in football history, a commentator's unexpected darts digression,...
01.11.2024
A superb footballer name, defenders shooting from 30 yards and throw-in paranoia
Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker field the listeners' January entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. Among the selections are assistant referees refusing to touch the ball at any point,...
01.09.2024
The Adjudication Panel: The longest 3.85 seconds in football history
Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and Nick Miller on the Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: some ski-jumping commentary, fundamental football words we never knew had been cancelled, the minimum requirement for an FA Cup "journey" and the longest...
01.04.2024
The Adjudication Panel: Washing machines that sound like referees
Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and Nick Miller on the first Adjudication Panel of 2024. The agenda includes: Matt Upson co-commentating on the rain, home appliances that sound like football things, barrel-scraping content in elite players' autobiographies, a...
12.26.2023
The Football Cliches Quiz IX
The Football Clichés Quiz returns for its ninth edition, and after years of standing on the sidelines it's finally the turn of David Walker to step up to the plate and take on defending champion Adam Hurrey, with past-winner Charlie...
12.21.2023
The Adjudication Panel: Are we all truly ready for a Club World Cup?
Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the final Adjudication Panel of 2023. The agenda includes: the football-as-chess-match analogy going too far, which club are most strongly associated with "languishing", if the current Championship table is...
12.19.2023
The Adjudication Panel: Glovesmiths and parking the bus at the Battle of Kursk
Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the latest Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: a tenuous talking point from Liverpool 0-0 Man Utd, Brazilian commentators fascinated by the East Anglian derby, an unprecedented new alternative word...
12.14.2023
Centre-backs on the wing & "comunicado oficial"
The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker field this month's listeners' entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. Among the selections are foreign vocabulary you absorb through football, the debatable...
12.12.2023
The Adjudication Panel: "The Mesut Ozil of public transportation"
Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the latest Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: Sean Dyche's multi-platform campaign against inauthentic goal celebrations, some truly wholesome commentary from the BBC's Jonathan Pearce, "the Mesut Ozil of public...
12.07.2023
Copycat knee-sliders & kicking balls into skips: Chloe Petts does Mesut Haaland Dicks
The pod welcomes comedian Chloe Petts for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks, as she chooses her six most niche fascinations and irritations of football. Among Chloe's selections are the precarious vocal range of solo football chanters, the rise of...
12.05.2023
The Adjudication Panel: "He hit it where Grandma hides the jam jars"
Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the latest Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: the 'goalscoring formality' commentator intonation, the best off-pitch storming the Premier League has ever seen, Gary Neville's audio cameo in Squid Game:...
11.30.2023
The Adjudication Panel: Can a goalkeeper be a wonderkid?
Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for a midweek Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: an inevitable Championship chant, the final reckoning for Harry Redknapp's car window, the first name on the teamsheet for a PGMOL Fast-Tracked...
11.28.2023
The Adjudication Panel: The things in football you can 'ooze'
Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the latest Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: Peter Drury's weather reports, the crucial difference between being "found out" and "worked out", things you can "ooze" in football, and who can...
11.23.2023
Football freestylers & Sunday league rondo etiquette
Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker field this month's listeners' entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. Among the selections are the very deliberate way managers drink their bottled water, a...
11.21.2023
The Adjudication Panel: 'The Scott McTominay of antibiotics'
Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the latest Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: bands named after footballers, fixtures being described as "mouthwatering" after they've happened, "the Scott McTominay of antiobiotics" and who exactly a player's...
11.16.2023
The Pure EFL XI
Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare, David Walker and Ali Maxwell - co-creator of the Not The Top 20 podcast - to take on the daunting task of selecting a lineup of players that embody the Football League in...
11.14.2023
The Adjudication Panel: How many errors make a comedy of errors?
Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the latest Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: the inside story of a viral Sunday League wondergoal, the Premier League's Twitter account crosses a line, a Luton fan's incredibly niche...
11.09.2023
Gary Neville's parrots, with George Lewis
The pod welcomes comedian, actor and writer George Lewis for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks, choosing his six most niche fascinations and irritations of football. Among George's selections are the HR-defying mythology of the dressing room, kids mindlessly emulating...
11.07.2023
The dying art of managers moving upstairs, the 'revelation' threshold, and some low-key FA Cup magic
Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the latest Adjudication Panel. The agenda includes: some low-key FA Cup magic from Horsham FC's Twitter account, yet more footballspeak in the political sphere, what makes a player "a...

What's Football Cliches about?

Download our free app to listen on your phone

Football Cliches episodes:

Gary Lineker meets Cliches: Why aren't strikers rounding the goalkeeper any more?

The Adjudication Panel: Winning the "hard way" and the Missing Piece of the Jigsaw XI

The Football Cliches Quiz XII - The Totally Football Show

The Adjudication Panel: "Some bloke sat in a booth near the M4 with a fancy protractor"

All-English European ties & post-goal iPad analysis: The listeners' loves & hates

The Adjudication Panel: "What a horse he was, by the way"

Sizeable hillocks & nightclubbing with McCoist: Jon Champion does Mesut Haaland Dicks

The Adjudication Panel: James Ward-Prowse Territories & hasty Panenkas

The Adjudication Panel: Elland Road trigonometry & the Footballers Called Pete crisis

The Adjudication Panel: We've said 'come and listen to this podcast' and you've said 'thank you very much, I will’

The Football Cliches Quiz #11

The Adjudication Panel: Among the assists, prime players & the tormentor-in-chief scale

Centre-backs leading the line, overlapping kick-off time angst, and long-range near post goal aesthetics

The Adjudication Panel: Pivotal wins, corners in a dangerous position, and the Factory of Sadness

The Adjudication Panel: Agemates, locksmiths & Alan Curbishley's garden

The Adjudication Panel: "Over to you [Title Rival X]" & Knuckleball on Corrie

The Adjudication Panel: Great White Shark 0 Killer Whale 1 (72 mins)

The Adjudication Panel: the Haaland missed sitter incredulity

The Football Cliches Quiz X

The Adjudication Panel: G-Nev's adjectives, cynical finishes & gobbling up chances

The Adjudication Panel: Lithuanian ultimate frisbee & how to divide up a league table

The Adjudication Panel: Sensory football, a 27-second bright start & the war on socks

”Genuine height", European banana skins and the listeners' fascinations & irritations

The Adjudication Panel: Midfield "quarterbacks" & Montell Jordan's right-backs

Les Dennis, paintbrush volleys & the Quiz Question XI

The Adjudication Panel: Horror shows, title blows and “different custard”

Ref sandwiches, "teapot finishes" & the Premier League Mid-Point XI

The Adjudication Panel: FA Cup illusions & Andy Townsend’s octopus goalie

The Adjudication Panel: The Lampardian Transition, 2014-2024

The Adjudication Panel: Footholds, foreign contingents & death metal midfielders

The 'How Did [Player X] Never Play for [Club Y]?' XI

The Adjudication Panel: The most Premier League fixture there never was

A superb footballer name, defenders shooting from 30 yards and throw-in paranoia

The Adjudication Panel: The longest 3.85 seconds in football history

The Adjudication Panel: Washing machines that sound like referees

The Football Cliches Quiz IX

The Adjudication Panel: Are we all truly ready for a Club World Cup?

The Adjudication Panel: Glovesmiths and parking the bus at the Battle of Kursk

Centre-backs on the wing & "comunicado oficial"

The Adjudication Panel: "The Mesut Ozil of public transportation"

Copycat knee-sliders & kicking balls into skips: Chloe Petts does Mesut Haaland Dicks

The Adjudication Panel: "He hit it where Grandma hides the jam jars"

The Adjudication Panel: Can a goalkeeper be a wonderkid?

The Adjudication Panel: The things in football you can 'ooze'

Football freestylers & Sunday league rondo etiquette

The Adjudication Panel: 'The Scott McTominay of antibiotics'

The Pure EFL XI

The Adjudication Panel: How many errors make a comedy of errors?

Gary Neville's parrots, with George Lewis

The dying art of managers moving upstairs, the 'revelation' threshold, and some low-key FA Cup magic

Other shows like Football Cliches: