Football Cliches

The pod welcomes Football Ramble podcast supremo Luke Moore for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks, as he chooses his six personal fascinations and irritations of football.

Among Luke's selections are the early signs of a game turning into a comprehensive thrashing, the physical attributes of a classic double save, a controversial choice for the best camera angle for a penalty, the highly unnecessary admin-theatre of both teams setting up for a free kick, the demise of calling free transfers "a Bosman" and people whose footballing enthusiasm extends no further than their own team.

Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel - featuring returning legend Doc Brown - react to a Paraguayan football take on "hang it in the Louvre!", reflect on the quirks of Sky's mid-2000s PlayerCam innovation and unanimously condemn the word "thunderbastard".

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Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: England's League B promotion glory, a listener solves last week's Consecutive Hat-Tricks Career Pathway puzzle, Talksport mulls over what constitutes a "young young" player, some novel use of "aplomb" at the darts, Trevor Brooking's 1982 Desert Island Discs, the surprising origins of "tippy-tappy football" and some strange alleged behaviour from an ex-Barclaysman.

Meanwhile, the panel gauge the lowest level a referee could have played at to satisfy the "never played the game" brigade and wonder if a centre-back can be described as a "hotshot”.

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The pod welcomes commentator Bill Leslie for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks, as he chooses his six personal fascinations and irritations of football.

Bill and the panel explore stadium architecture quirks, nearby fans taking issue with live commentary observations, the most generic Championship play-offs semi-final lineup possible, the two types of mid-game petering-out, needless away kits ruining the pre-match excitement and pretentious/professional pronunciations of foreign players' names.

Adam's new book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons

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Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the first-ever mention of xG in a mainstream TV drama, cult Spurs strikers plying their trade in academia, how many historical goals a striker needs to be eligible to be “still banging them in”, the definition of a "sumptuous" goal and much more.

Meanwhile, the panel ponder how many consecutive hat-tricks would take a striker from Sunday League to the Premier League

Please VOTE for Football Clichés as the FSA Podcast of the Year: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/fsa-awards-2024

Adam's new book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons

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Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare, David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: the BBC explains the US electoral system in unexpected football terms, Noel Gallagher's Champions League co-commentary debut, the crucial differences between "busting a gut" and "breaking your neck" to get into the box and a footballer's name shared with a pharmaceutical supplies company.

Meanwhile, the panel debate the "big five" of the cheese world and discuss Nick's new book, Who Owns Football?

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Please VOTE for Football Clichés as the FSA Podcast of the Year: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/fsa-awards-2024

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Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: a dubious use of the Sunday League staple of "Still 0-0, lads!", some unprecedented Carabao Cup co-commentary self-awareness, Ethiopian bars named after venerable Premier League wide men, absurd match postponements in the 10th tier and Andy Gray's 20-year obsession with teams having defenders on the posts at corners.

Meanwhile, the panel wonder which current player could most plausibly play for any of the 20 Premier League clubs and enjoy some sensational data journalism about elite-level throw-ins of the mid-2010s.

Please VOTE for Football Clichés as the FSA Podcast of the Year: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/fsa-awards-2024

Adam's new book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons

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Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: a classic footballers' namesake mix-up, whether a goalkeeper's save in a shootout can "send a team into the next round", how many consecutive defeats a club can be "staring down the barrel" of, journeyman film directors, a glorious Powerleague chant, an unexpected celebrity endorsement for underfloor heating and Keysey's verdict on the Manchester United hotseat.

Meanwhile, the panel establish the fundamental footballing differences between a curse and a hoodoo and discuss household objects that they instinctively control like footballs when dropped.

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Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the post-Ten Hag news cycle begins in earnest, a brief but tantalising moment of doubt over whether Peter Drury said the word "dude" on commentary, the ongoing devaluing of the phrase "captain's goal", too many footballers' names in the new Jack Reacher novel, Barcelona's plucky tweeting, and a strange mix-up involving two Andy Townsends.

Meanwhile, the panel discuss which Premier League manager looks the most "darts" and enjoy the performance of a football commentator on a mid-1990s tv quiz show.

Adam's new book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons

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Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker are joined by returning special guest Doc Brown to entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations.

Among the selections are the fascinating "recovery" routines of players who have faked injury to win a free kick, guessing what co-commentators are saying when the pub TV has the sound off, the superficial mannerisms of a part-time amateur goalkeeper, the precise motivation for asking “How long ref?!” in Sunday League and the dubious importance of always knowing who your team's next opponents are.

Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel enjoy some unexpected Premier League commentary in a Jamaican dancehall track and some rare well-researched football small talk in a TV drama.

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Adam's new book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is available to pre-order: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons

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Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: a player going down "like a game of Jenga", a record amount of figurative "freedom" for a Premier League goalscorer, Darren Cann's flag-waving Premier League legacy, a new tune for the chant mocking teams who've thrown away a 2-0 lead, Inter Miami's slightly-too-humble nickname, and an Andy Gray reference in some Austrian fifth-tier commentary.

Meanwhile, the panel enjoy a Twitter debate about the best players for each Premier League kick-off time and discuss how to behave while attending games as a neutral.

Adam's new book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons

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