LONDON LIVE QUIZ - TICKETS ON GENERAL SALE WEDNESDAY 16TH - ⁠quiz.footballcliches.com⁠

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the fallout from the Manchester derby, Tottenham's goal drought passes an important threshold, referees commentating on goals, a very familiar-sounding voice from a game in Australia, whether Manchester United vs Sabah set an incredibly niche world record, overdue praise for the steadiest commentary duo in the business, sci-fi heritage in Scottish penalty shootouts and Andy Gray’s booming return to co-commentary.

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Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Dean Saunders continues his intermittent campaign against modern football terminology, tinpot scenes in the Yashin Trophy nominations, a Talksport debate about the threshold for in-game dominance, John McGinn's trademark caressed curler, the growing usage of "late doors", an unacceptably casual word for a headed goal, the least "rounding the goalkeeper" striker in the Premier League, commentary to the accidental rhythm of football chants and Richard Keys's top 6 commentators of all time.

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Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: reflections on a superb afternoon at the Cliches live show, Tom Cruise deploys the football plural, Gary Cotterill plumbs new press-conference depths, Manchester United are Arsenal 2008/09 in disguise, the fallout from Mike Dean's embellished anecdote, slightly-too-casual VAR announcements, the Gary Neville noise in a Kaiser Chiefs song, and much more.

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Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com

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Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the agonising death of Sky Sports News on deadline day, whether a player can have a “knack” for scoring penalties, Darren Fletcher reviving his Copacbana obsession, footballers’ names in German pet food adverts, whether a header can be “blazed" over the bar, the threshold for a goal getting a trailing team "back in it", an apocalyptic-sounding night at the ex-footballers charity boxing, and checking in with the boys at Keys & Gray Unleashed.

Meanwhile, the panel select the Summer 2026 Transfers That Just Feel So Right XI.

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Adam Hurrey, David Walker and Nick Miller entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations.

Among the selections are how technology will finally come for the clumsily-operated electronic substitution board, the futile abuse of the BBC's Player Rater tool, whether a team should be top or bottom of a negatively-themed league table, and a passionate defence of strikers who don't gamble on low crosses into the six-yard box.

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Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: a baffling passing adjective in the EFL Trophy, how a striker would "unlock" their goalscoring account for the season, Everton's irresistible "cup run" candidacy, LASK 5 Celtic 4 and the saddest football TV studio of all time, Michael Owen mixes up his modes of transport, a curious anomaly in how we describe substitutes entering the fray, how early a new signing can be called "a revelation" and Richard Keys's optimistic claim to having originally coined a phrase.

Meanwhile, the panel ponder which is the most boo-proof position on a football pitch.

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Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: Wedding guests with goal-machine names, the rude awakenings/wake-up calls/reality checks of the Premier League opening weekend, how much it would actually cost to "drive Harry Maguire to Saudi Arabia yourself", Lee Dixon’s emerging spot-kick commentary trademark, tenuous Match of the Day identity crises, Dom Ballard's pure Puskas wondergoal, the many ripples of a Fabrizio Romano typo, Jean-Philippe Mateta aiming for legislative immortality, West Brom's "curly slippers", James Trafford’s unorthodox cadence and Richard Keys's one word for his beloved Coventry City.

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Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: how referee match audio will pump up the football news machine in 2026/27, Chelsea's youth teams being renamed in an ominously "game's gone" fashion, Gary Weaver settles into the new Championship season, three incredible utterings of John Stones’ name, Eddie Marsan as Harry Redknapp and the meaning of being "Premier League-proven".

Meanwhile, the panel enjoy episode 1 of Keys & Gray: Unleashed, condensed into just two minutes of gold.

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Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: some textbook Community Shield takeaways, whether Arsenal are the most “Millennium Stadium” Premier League club, how far off Declan Rice is from becoming “Mr Arsenal”, Newcastle's unnecessarily long managerial longlist, an unacceptable League One welcoming, linguistic frustration in the tennis, getting to the bottom of what constitutes a "bomba" signing, Irish right-backs in Turkish Star Wars knock-offs, Richard Keys tries his first ever oyster and a rollercoaster 72-hour unveiling of the mildly anticipated Keys & Gray: Unleashed

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Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Goalkeeping mistakes that rhyme with the player who pounces on them, a classic goal-commentating phrase gets some overdue analysis, David Seaman keeps his chuckle rate ticking over at Lord's, pondering the actual purpose of Dusan Vlahovic, Fabrizio Romano drops a bombshell hint over his own future, anticipating the new Amazon Prime series Meet the Owens, Matthias Jaissle impressing-by-numbers and Keys & Gray making moves in London town.

Meanwhile, the panel tackle the Happy Hunting Grounds Ladder for the first time this season.

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