Adam Hurrey, David Walker and Nick Miller entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations.

Among the selections are the various types of football-related social media profile pictures, the efficient language of mid-game team-mate praise, the correct level of thanks a ball boy should get from players and the appropriate celebration for an opposition own goal.

Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel enjoy the reaction to England manager Thomas Tuchel working from home and some unexpected Premier League chat in the Italian parliament.

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Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the rare sound of a football crowd chuckling in unison, a definitive list of football’s acceptable “things-in-chief”, a deep dive into the nuances of Jude Bellingham’s La Liga dissent, some classic-style 96th-minute olé-ing from Argentina, Manchester City midfielders’ names in Northumbrian psych-folk, someone actually "whispering it quietly, but" and some supposedly frivolous footballing jargon of the 1970s.

Meanwhile, the panel debate the threshold for a crowd chanting "we want [X number of goals]" and respond to a brunch cafe's "come and try us" plea.

Adam's book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons

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Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Champions League broadcasting quirks, Alan Shearer and the extinct art of crossing the ball, the most prefix-defying clubs of the 92, the rise and fall of managers "issuing a war cry" and much more.

Meanwhile, the panel speculate on what would happen to a precocious goalscorer who couldn’t stop getting sent off.

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Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: accidental nursery rhymes in Champions League commentary, a new Premier League low bar for irony, whether Southampton 0 Burnley 1 counts as an FA Cup upset, some inconvenient truths about Manchester City's trip to Leyton Orient, unexpected Portuguese footballers' names in things and home advantage in under-12s football.

Meanwhile, the panel engage in some earnest Messi vs Ronaldo chat and agree upon the most "haven't turned up" scoreline.

Adam's book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons

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The Football Clichés Quiz returns for another clash of niche football trivia, as the pod take on Match of the Day commentators James Fielden, Mark Scott and Chris Wise.

The questions include: problematically-named second-tier Peruvians, Serie A broadcasters, fraudulent Fernandeses, Brentford substitutes of the early 2020s, Harry Redknapp’s go-to historical tyrant, incredibly obscure football theme tunes, guess the backwards commentary, and Happy Hunting Grounds.

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Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Fabian Hurzeler upgrades the traditional football "basics", darts and chess offer their versions of "the 12th man", an unexpected superstar signing for Club Brugge, Premier League players wrestle with some traditional English football phrases, and much more.

Meanwhile, the panel discuss the art of managers "sending a message to the board" and undertake a cultural review of Arsenal 5 Manchester City 1.

Adam's book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons

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Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: yet another new rival for the "corridor of uncertainty", the media taking Ruben Amorim slightly too literally, a listener's deciding an appropriate scoreline for his hernia operation, more Ligue 1 voiceover curiosity, and a tribute to the soon-to-be-retired Eurosport brand.

Meanwhile, the panel ponder whether referees really do "seek the limelight" and whether the new-look Champions League officially passes the “whisper it but...” threshold.

Adam's book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons

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Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: Walker's Ribblesdale Rovers side have a relegation battle on their hands, a subtle misremembering of that Sir Alex Ferguson quote, Jamie Redknapp's curious refereeing vote of confidence, former England wingers on Antiques Roadshow, accidental UK garage from Ange Postecoglou, some pathological footballspeak in everyday life, yet more incorrect football chanting in adverts and, finally, an answer to the question: how much does a Premier League point weigh?

Adam's book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons

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Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker on the Football Cliches podcast's fifth anniversary. The agenda includes: a Serie A commentary tribute from an unexpected source, the 1990 version of “if Lionel Messi did that, we’d all be raving about it”, yet another Premier League name in a true-crime documentary, co-commentator Gary Breen plucks some Barry Manilow out of nowhere, a one-time-only return for Premier League Years Playlist Bingo and a celebration of half a decade of having the language of football on absolute toast.

Meanwhile, the panel briefly ponder how many consecutive clean sheets it would take to get a goalkeeper from Sunday League to the Premier League - and Charlie's "generic football pundit" voice takes on its ultimate challenge.

Adam's book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons

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Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare, David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: more sub-standard depictions of football fans in advertising, football commentators’ names in Anglo-Australian crime dramas, the greatest substitution in the history of the Scottish Cup, the perennial joy of a stadium exclaiming something in perfect unison and a pedantic observation on Phil Foden's goal celebration.

Meanwhile, the panel ponder the question: is this the most “what a job [Manager X] is doing” Premier League season of all time?

Adam's book, Extra Time Beckons, Penalties Loom: How to Use (and Abuse) The Language of Football, is OUT NOW: https://geni.us/ExtraTimeBeckons

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