Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Jake Farrell. On the agenda: The now-annual breakdown of the Premier League alphabetical distribution and how it makes us feel, who we should "fear for" in the Premier League in 2026/27, what tournaments England legends would have incongruously appeared at if they’d played until they were 40, workshopping a chant for Phil Collins’ son at 1860 Munich, Mohamed Salah's surprise move to Trabzonspor, Argos being sold for the same price as Morgan Rogers, a listener's accidental goal celebration in the shower, and the full story of Richard Keys's summer renaissance.

Play the Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz at games.footballcliches.com

Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com

Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: European superclubs coming over here and stealing our groundsmen, Henry Winter on Falklands defence budgets, Gianni Infantino the "money-grabbing gargoyle", the inevitable moment for Wenger's Law, a Cliches deep cut buried in an obscure seven-a-side livestream, Sean Dyche’s surprisingly convoluted "top 3 pints", unacceptable penalty descriptions, Scotland gives us a new verb for a thrashing, John Stones’ comedy shoulder, the finer details of set-piece guru Austin MacPhee’s Chelsea move, the concept of an England football team at the Commonwealth Games, and a Welsh farmer with Alan Shearer’s voice.

Play the Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz at games.footballcliches.com

Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

A concept impossible to over-romanticise, pinpointing the exact Premier League matchweek to represent its sweet spot, the gentle echoing of Martin Tyler across the potholes of a generic bar strip, charmingly error-strewn handwritten fixture lists, the Irish Bar option, the Moon Under Water of Turkish beach bars showing the Prem, spending £3.50 on a 48-hour-old copy of the Mirror in 2001, Faliraki 5-a-side with Leon Osman, one listener’s Eurocamp goalkeeping glory, a stag do in Luxembourg, and an 8/10 Premier League weekend lineup in an Only Fools and Horses-themed bar in Majorca.

Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker bring you the latest episode of Dreamland, as they celebrate the immaculate scenario of watching football on holiday.

Head to dreamland.footballcliches.com to sign up and get access to the full Dreamland back catalogue

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations.

Among the selections are the coolest way to hold a football, football's ongoing misunderstanding of the "instep", a ubiquitous three-word punditry prefix and having to listen to people describing their Sunday League goals.

Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel welcome Rodri to the exclusive club of players who have "completed football".

Play the new Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz at games.footballcliches.com

Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com

Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare, David Walker, Nick Miller and Jake Farrell. On the agenda: a cultural review of the gruelling watch that was the World Cup final, the merits of Ferran Torres' winning goal, England's absurd third-place playoff glory, Jude Bellingham's niche statistical triumph, Cole Palmer gets on the wrong side of Graeme Souness, one listener's highly unnecessary concept of a secondary World Cup plate competition, Premier League referees spotted at weddings and, to wrap up the tournament summer, the Pure World Cup 2026 XI.

Play the Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz at games.footballcliches.com

Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: a cultural review of England 1 Argentina 2, finding anything remotely unfamiliar about England's latest major-tournament exit, gauging the enthusiasm levels for the "FIFA Bronze Final", the valuable freshness of a Spain vs Argentina final, anticipating Tom Cruise's contribution to the half-time show, filthy-sounding World Cup demonym usages, and dinosaur fossil prices finally catch up with football transfer fees.

Play the Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz at games.footballcliches.com

Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive show and much more: dreamland.footballcliches.com

Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: a cultural review of the montage-resistant grind of England 2 Norway 1, Thomas Tuchel vs Gabriel Clarke, the prospect of Vindaloo as the soundtrack to this year's John Lewis Christmas advert, ITV's Mark Pougatch talks tactics, revisiting England 3 Argentina 2 (2005), Joe Cole’s stance on the pyramids of Egypt, and kit-man transfer news.

Play the Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz at games.footballcliches.com

Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the enjoyable chaos of Argentina vs Egypt, the exact noise Javier Aguirre made to Anthony Gordon, co-commentators with Alan Shearer's voice, a listener's very niche World Cup spreadsheet, the evergreen haplessness of centre-backs in penalty shootouts, the international managerial merry-go-round and the threshold for a "lungbusting" run.

Play the Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz at games.footballcliches.com

Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive show and much more: dreamland.footballcliches.com

Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and Jake Farrell. On the agenda: an in-depth cultural review of Mexico 2 England 3, the immaculate Golden Boot race, Donald Trump ushering in a truly retro tinpot World Cup moment, *that* BBC News pronunciation of "Socceroos", unsatisfying Microsoft Windows noises during France vs Paraguay, exclusive giant flag logistics info, the American love for Fletch's commentary, some glorious knockout-stage Jonathan Pearce and Lionel Messi's crisps ad cameos.

Meanwhile, the panel absolutely nail the difference between "fashioning" and "conjuring" a goalscoring chance.

Play the Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz at games.footballcliches.com

Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and James Maw. On the agenda: the big World Cup flag question, England 2 DR Congo 1 and the Kaniest finish in the history of Harry Kane, the Big Boxpark Backlash, England's unfinished business at the Azteca, Danny Murphy's cat, the most obscure way anyone has ever accidentally found out the result of a game they were trying to avoid the result for, Emile Heskey on broccoli, football chat in the House of Commons, football podcast theme tunes in Netflix sports comedies and Chelsea push the envelope of Club Statement capitalisation.

Play the Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz at games.footballcliches.com

Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive show and much more: dreamland.footballcliches.com

Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices