Dominik Szoboszlai certainly gave his free-kick plenty of biff yesterday. But can the same be said about Mikel Arteta’s tactics? Today, Marcus, Luke and Jim debate whether Arteta simply has to lighten up in big matches.

Elsewhere, Luke explains why PUG-MOL's decision to rule out Josh King’s first Fulham goal was arrogant. Plus, we encourage Lucas Paquetá to become the ultimate Rat King and celebrate David Moyes for opening up his very own repair shop.

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There are just a few days until the summer transfer window slams shut. So what better way to build up to the big day than with a quiz devoted to all those players synonymous with that big yellow ticker?

Marcus officiates as Lineal Champion Vish faces Jim today with his precious belts on the line. Come step into the ring with us!

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“The penalties were long, but the memes were longer” - Vithushan Ehantharajah

Two days later and poor Vish is still hurting from Man United’s League Cup exit to Grimsby Town. At least Marcus and Jim were nice to him on today’s pod... kind of.

Elsewhere, Marcus predicts Arsenal to finally win at Anfield. Plus, we’re faced with an impossible decision: Would we rather the newly unemployed José Mourinho manages West Ham or Rangers?

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Alexander Isak and Yoane Wissa have their heels well and truly dug into the ground, refusing to play for their clubs until they get a move away. But is it fair that it's now the players who hold the cards when it comes to deciding their futures, rather than the clubs who own their contract?

Marcus, Luke & Vish are here to share their thoughts on that. Plus, can the Big Dick stadium replace Goodison Park's atmosphere, and is it time to bring back two up top, if only to see a few more chests called into action?

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Sam Allardyce, Alan Pardew, David Moyes... is there anyone left for West Ham to call?

*Sean Dyche’s music starts playing*

Things have gone from bad to worse for Graham Potter at West Ham. Today, Marcus, Luke, Vish and Jim learn about Sean Dyche’s latest ploy to put himself in the shop window. Plus, we wonder how Man United will deal with the dramatic return of Harry the Haddock.

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Join Marcus and Jim as they frolic amongst the ashes of a barn burner at St James’ Park. A literal child scored a 100th minute winner for Liverpool!

You can tell Marcus enjoyed the game because he started making comparisons to David Beckham vs Greece. Elsewhere, he permits Jim to already celebrate Arsenal winning the title and we take the time to call out ref cam for what it was… s**t.

Get 15% off annual subscriptions to our Patreon until the end of August! Sign up for ad-free shows, bonus content every Wednesday and access to our Discord for $51 a year or $5 a month. We're also offering a seven-day free trial now: https://www.patreon.com/footballramble.

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It might be the second weekend of the Premier League season, but already Marcus has a revolutionary idea that surely every single fan can get behind.

He's joined by Pete, Vish and Jim to reflect on some detailed artwork at Selhurst Park and why exactly Nuno Espírito Santo is fanning the flames of his own sacking.

Plus, Thomas the Frank Engine is already up to full speed with yet another Spurs victory over Pep Guardiola (when will the bloke learn) and West Ham manage to tick every single box for a terrible first home game of the season. Yikes.

Click here for Episode 1 of Game's Gone now, our brand new monthly series available exclusively on Amazon Music!

Get 15% off annual subscriptions to our Patreon until the end of August! Sign up for ad-free shows, bonus content every Wednesday and access to our Discord for $51 a year or $5 a month: https://www.patreon.com/footballramble.

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Poor old Daniel Levy. Faffing around with the details of Eberechi Eze's contract then in comes Mikel Arteta and Lovely Berta to nab him for their pesky neighbours.

This week, our game is dedicated to those players who very nearly joined Spurs but - for whatever reason - never signed the dotted line.

Marcus takes on Vish this week, with Pete on the buttons. We're in for a belter!

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Eberechi Eze got his big move to North London, just as we always said he would... Today, Vish and Pete listen to Marcus gloat over what this means for his prediction that Arsenal will win the league.

Elsewhere, Cole Palmer goes to war with a French vineyard and Pete is planning a mid-season tour to Wet Wipe Island.

Get 15% off annual subscriptions to our Patreon until the end of August! Sign up for ad-free shows, bonus content every Wednesday and access to our Discord for $51 a year or $5 a month. We're also offering a seven-day free trial now: https://www.patreon.com/footballramble.

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Crystal Palace are in a right old pickle. Kicked out of the Europa League, set to lose Eberechi Eze and Marc Guéhi, and - no we're not making it up - Nottingham Forest coming to town right between their two Conference League qualifiers. Let's not take the p*** here.

Luke tells Marcus and Vish why he's expecting Evangelos Marinakis to turn up to that game in a viking helmet. Plus, Neymar's parties are analysed on Brazilian television. 

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***Please take the time to rate us on your podcast app. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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