Marcus, Jim, Andy and Pete look ahead to a truly seismic Europa League final between Man United and Spurs, which boils down to two bald men fighting to the death over a £100m comb.

Before that though, we’ve got a couple of last night’s victory laps from Kevin De Bruyne and Crystal Palace to pore over - it seems Omar Marmoush has gladly took up the “smash bangers in from thirty yards” mantle. Plus, Ian Rush’s new AI musical about his legal troubles means Pete has *finally* had enough of the internet. God help us all.

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