It's been a crazy few days in the world of Luke and Pete. Peter's had a recent break ruined by the wanton destruction of an animal, Luke's had his week ruined by an exploded snowglobe, and there's some surprising news afoot from the Official GP of The Luke and Pete Show.

Elsewhere, the lads learn about the country's tallest ever policeman as well as take some more submissions for official jobs of the show, a section in which Luke does his best to denigrate yet more noble professions. Send all your complaints to [email protected]!

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What does male self care mean to you? Remember, there are no right or wrong answers to this question; to Luke it means going to a football match alone. To Peter it's a dog walk and a wank. Do whatever works for you. 

Today on The Luke and Pete Show, Peter is dropping extortionate amounts of money in the NCP, Luke is drinking shandies and doesn't care who judges him (he definitely does), and we explore further why a man has bought the Commodore brand. Oh, and we may have to prise open the Battery Daddy again...

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Pete tries to do a nice thing for his niece and ends up tearing around central London on a doomed quest to find a Labubu. The labubu he eventually landed turned out to be fake and probably filled with soiled bandages. Oh well.

The lads also take the time to discuss fake merchandise, mundane celebrity encounters and why a bakery that doesn't serve any food is quite probably destined to fail. Never trust a trendy baker, that's their advice. 

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After copping a tremendous amount of deserved flak from general practitioners everywhere for his ill-advised comments, Luke is considering shaving off his moustache and keeping a low profile by becoming a butcher's boy. Pete thinks it's a bad idea - too many euphemisms with middle aged women to deal with.

On today's produce-themed episode we also hear about the godfather of British cheese as well as find out why you shouldn't entertain the idea of getting milkmen back. Got milk?

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Luke's been on a Disney cruise! He tells Pete all about it - the characters appearing out of nowhere and terrifying his son, the amazing places he visited, the idle fantasies about jumping into the briny sea and how long he'd survive. The usual.

On today's episode there's also time to crown an Official General Practitioner of The Luke and Pete Show, and Luke gets in big trouble for saying it's probably quite easy to be a GP. Turns out it isn't. Also, before they sign off for another Monday, the lads ruminate on which finger would be best to cut off. You know, if you absolutely had to.

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Greetings, all! Where to start this week? Well, Pete celebrated Stak moving offices to central London by heading straight to Harley Street and having a fatty lump cut out of his back. It had to be done - it was stopping him sleeping properly. 

After that he tells Luke all about two ferrets he met on a walk this week, and although their owners didn't let him put them down his trousers, he was allowed to hold one of them briefly. What a victory in Pete's continuing quest for improved smalltalk! 

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Today's episode starts with an impassioned debate about whether you can drive both ways over the Queen Elizabeth Bridge in east London. If that doesn't get you excited to tune in, then frankly you're in the wrong place.

The lads then wax lyrical about the ridiculous nature of drug policy in the UK, which then naturally segues into a chat about a bloke that kept medicating himself with colloidal silver to treat his dermatitis and turned his skin completely blue (he's now dead. Obviously). 

Finally, Pete is trying to give up pickles, but will a new dill pickle themed beverage tempt him back to the Devil's trough?

Email us at [email protected] or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy.

Please fill out Stak's listener survey! It'll help us learn more about the content you love so we can bring you even more - you'll also be entered into a competition to win one of five PlayStation 5's! Click here: https://bit.ly/staksurvey2025

***Please take the time to rate us on your podcast app. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Pete's been thinking about opening his own nursery, but stumbles badly over what he'd call it. But never mind all that, because as ever on The Luke and Pete Show there are gherkins to eat, sandwich shops to assess and paper fortune tellers to learn about.

Oh, and have the lads finally found an Official GP of The Luke and Pete Show? And does he know what he's doing? And is being a GP the easiest job in the entire medical profession?

Email us at [email protected] or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy.

Please fill out Stak's listener survey! It'll help us learn more about the content you love so we can bring you even more - you'll also be entered into a competition to win one of five PlayStation 5's! Click here: https://bit.ly/staksurvey2025

***Please take the time to rate us on your podcast app. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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The lads have moved into a new office and are starting to roll out their best small talk efforts with their new colleagues. But something more pressing is on the agenda today, because Pete fears he may have been propositioned by a man in the local corner shop? And, more importantly, that might mean he can never go back there again.

Elsewhere, there's a weird fantasy bloke on instagram that Pete hates (is jealous of), and we also learn about people drawing their own cartoon strips as kids, with no thought for the IP ramifications.

Email us at [email protected] or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy.

Please fill out Stak's listener survey! It'll help us learn more about the content you love so we can bring you even more - you'll also be entered into a competition to win one of five PlayStation 5's! Click here: https://bit.ly/staksurvey2025

***Please take the time to rate us on your podcast app. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

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Are we living in an entirely new societal system? There's plenty of evidence to suggest we are. And it's called The Peteriarchy. But how many Petes are in charge, and who are they?

Also on your all-new LAPS episode, Luke meets the only person in Britain that doesn't know where the Gallagher brothers are from, we lament the lack of Rocket From the Crypt in everyone's lives, and Pete delivers his treatise on how to perform a tracheotomy. Warning: it's not for the faint hearted.

Email us at [email protected] or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy.

Please fill out Stak's listener survey! It'll help us learn more about the content you love so we can bring you even more - you'll also be entered into a competition to win one of five PlayStation 5's! Click here: https://bit.ly/staksurvey2025

***Please take the time to rate us on your podcast app. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.