Welcome back to an all-new episode of the Luke and Pete Show! This time around the lads spend more time than planned on Jamie Oliver, including the truly quaint Turkey Twizzlers incident of 2005. There's also Halloween chat, pirate accents and their origin and Pete forgetting who Greta Thunberg is.

And, the question on everyone's lips is answered - is the Battery Robot getting fed today? All in all, it's classic LAPS fodder. Don't miss it! 

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In a development that will surprise absolutely no-one, Pete went into The City for a night out and was propositioned by a sex worker. Unfortunately for all concerned, his small talk made the situation considerably worse. And there’s more bad news - the bin situation in Leigh-on-Sea is out of control! And, what’s more, council are taunting local residents about it!

Elsewhere there’s good news for short kings everywhere because the lads find time to appoint a new official leg lengthener of LAPS. Form an orderly queue to be 6ft tall, everyone!

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Bad news everyone: Peter has been sealing his car and now he absolutely stinks. No matter what he tries, he can't get the stink off. Luke tries to take his mind off of it by telling him the story about how the Israelis captured Adolf Eichmann. Does it work? Not really.

Elsewhere, the lads ruminate on the logistics of having an entirely different and secret extra family, before introducing their newest addition to the Luke and Pete Show community, Battery Robot! Who is he (presumably it's a he)? What is he like? And what does he have for his dinner? Tune in to find out...

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Today we hear all about Luke's experience of the 2025 Great South Run. 10 miles of sheer hell in biblically bad conditions, he nonetheless just about survived to tell the tale. Pete is baffled as to why anyone would even try to run that far anyway, obviously.

Elsewhere, a listener discovers a neighbour with a Remembrance Day-theme doorbell, of all things, and our eponymous hosts also ruminate on why no-one seems to care about Covid anymore. 

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Did you ever play manhunt as a kid? And did it ever end up with you almost dying on some mudflats? Those are just two of the questions Luke and Pete tackle on today's episode, alongside Pete's experiences of Christian camp, why certain types of Christian music is actually pretty good (eg The Congos) and the lads' ability to pass a GCSE these days (English? Maybe. Maths? Hell no.)

There's also three more attempts to enter a new cell into the Battery Daddy! Don't miss it!

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The lesson to take from today's episode is that algorithms will be the death of us all. And what's more, no-one even seems to care. Luke and Pete discuss that, as well as the radicalisation of people they have worked with that used to be normal, before getting stuck into an amazing email about a prank that wasn't actually a prank. 

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Pete visits a notable lungman about his wreck of a body. Will he get the answers he so desperately needs? Will he get a new inhaler? And, more importantly, will the doctor peg him?

Despite all of his various ailments, Donny has also found the time to go out on the piss with our mate Vish, and he thinks getting a few beers inside him has probably helped to make him feel better as well. One thing that hasn't made him feel better though is the fact that his daughter is calling every other man apart from him Daddy. Oh dear.

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Hello all! The game is afoot on this episode as the lads don their deerstalkers and whip out the magnifying glasses to investigate a blurry picture of Pete and Stephen Merchant at a wedding. Yep, you read that right. Not for the reason you think, they were actually more focused on reflecting the magnifying glasses onto Pete's shiny dome.

Also on the agenda today, Luke's attempt to outdrive Storm Amy, why Northern villages (apparently) used to holiday en masse, how we come to know Bansky's identity and our properly honest, from the heart, feelings about AI. You won't want to miss this, subscribe now!

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The lads start today's show by talking about AI girlfriends before having a good old chinwag about large language models (lady, lady, m'lady). After that, attention turns to where all the Billy Liars have gone - they used to be stalwarts in the local pub but have they vanished onto whatsapp groups instead?

There's also time for battery submissions, the nature of memory, and a bit of World War II chat into the bargain. Don't miss it! Subscribe now!

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Behold! Because the lads are back with the usual nonsense, including but not limited to, Old El Paso, Uncle Ben's rice, writing the quiz questions for a DVD extra of Little Britain (speaking of which, how have those lads not been cancelled? And while we're on the subject, when are *we* going to be cancelled?), the video game Darkseed and, if that isn't enough, what's it like trying to do exercise at altitude in Peru?

To contribute to this entirely foul jamboree, get in touch: [email protected]. You can also get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy.

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