Mr Donaldson’s just got in from another European trip, this time to the land of tapas and seashell-adorned buildings. Today’s topics include punctuation, close calls with rental car companies and the death of the Metaverse. Plus, loads of limestone might be cheaper than you think.

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Disturbing psychological conditions, Disney cruises and the obscenity of billionaires. Variety is the spice of life.

Plus, there’s plenty of love around here for Harry Hill and plenty of time to marvel at the sheer number of species out there. Remember, there are always more armadillos than you think.

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Pete’s been to Paris and it’s making everyone very depressed, and not because of envy. The man is self-admittedly awful at booking things.

On an equally cheery note, the guys discuss the limits of their animal-killing capacities, as well as those of train drivers. Also, worming a cat is no joke. Happy Monday everyone.

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Luke and Pete kick off this episode by delighting at the days getting longer. It’ll be spring before you know it, lads.

Things get more controversial when Luke has his say about lager consumption alongside a curry (is it really that good of a pairing?) and the guys take a look at the curious case of Veronika the Austrian cow. She may or may not be doing wonders for the reputation of her species’ intelligence. Also, raw milk is definitely still disgusting.

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Carmageddon II looms large in Pete’s early university memories, but it’s not the reason he had to apologise to campus security. Luke, meanwhile, had to deal with an American-style shared room. The stuff of nightmares nowadays.

Elsewhere, the guys discuss the Beckham family drama and wonder precisely how many cakes Mr Tom Cruise is sending out at Christmas. Place your bets.

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Impending doomsday diary entry 876, from Donaldson and Moore’s bunker studios…

As the world casually burns, we still find time to enjoy Looksmaxxing bros continuing to shoot themselves in the reproductive organs in their quest for hotness - as well as the Tate Brothers conducting their own Donaldson weekender.

Plus, the big questions answered: who are our own Top G influencers? What’s the best substance to soak your hands in before fighting? How to best bribe your children? What’s the optimum time to have dinner? Consider this a public service to you all. 

Battery Robot has had his firmware update and needs to guzzle down on your submissions! Get them into: [email protected] 

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Luke’s got to come clean about his murky past: the amount of pints and chocolate eclairs he knicked while working at the Student Union. To be fair, at least he wasn’t getting high on his own pork supply like Pete was at Leicester City. 

Plus: the relentless abundance of political weirdos, tricks of the hotel trade and metal bands fronted by literal children. Just another Monday with your podcast dads… 

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After dancing delicately through Luke’s recent toilet trouble for a good ten minutes, we find out that Pete’s been buying radar keys on eBay. Doth the cap fit, n all that.

Elsewhere, we rate the last meals of Ivan the Terrible, Hitler and various other horrible men, and we officially dispel the myth of the WWI Christmas Day football match - and we are definitely the first podcast to work that out. Plus, disappointing curry dispatches from Indian restaurants in the US.

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I know what you're thinking - if I download this episode of The Luke and Pete Show, what can I expect to hear? Well, first off you're going to hear about a really expensive tuna. After that you're going to find out all about what it's like trying to get cash out of a bank these days, a conversation which naturally evolves into Pete's latest run in with the taxman, and after that there's a bit of chat about looksmaxxing, something that you will be genuinely worse off for hearing about. 

But don't let that put you off! And send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: [email protected]. DO IT NOW!

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Hello and welcome back to what feels like a podcast at the end of the world. Put it this way, Pete is desperate to know where he can secure regular asthma medication from as we edge ever closer to the abyss.

In the meantime, the lads still find time to talk about purchasing paint, why you shouldn't urinate in the sink, and Axl Rose's performing habits. There's also adverts for soup, a very welcome New Year's appearance from Battery Robot, and the question on everyone's lips - will Luke and Pete invade Greenland?

New Year, new questions? Only one place to put them: [email protected]

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