What's Peter doing in the bathroom with a shard of porcelain stuck in his foot? And why are there bloody footprints everywhere? And more importantly, is it the same foot from which he accidentally squirted a blister over a nun's habit?

Elsewhere, Luke has been to see Neil Young live, reopening last month's very lively debate about ol' Shakey, there's more Drumeo chat, and we marvel at the depths of cringe Drake is able to plumb. Oh, and we may have yet another new player flying into the Battery Daddy...

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Pete's fluent in French! Who knew? Did Pete even know until this recording?

The boys discover a definitive list of the world's hardest languages and a listener wonders if it's possible to receive a racist spatula. Plus, why pilots on YouTube are kinda soothing and Luke tells Pete once and for all: stop buying me lattes I don't drink.

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What's your favourite internet fight? Luke and Pete list a few contenders, including a man getting told he's about to be thrown into a lake before being quite literally thrown into a lake.

Elsewhere, the lads follow up Monday's music chat with a deep dive into a technical brutal death metal band that only write songs about Ancient Egypt, find out that Pete's dream festival involves quite a lot of potted meat, and still find the time to assess your latest battery submissions. Don't miss it, and make sure to hit subscribe or follow wherever you get your podcasts.

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It's something of a music-themed show today as Pete reveals he once interviewed Flea from Red Hot Chili Peppers and he had something resembling a torture rack in his dressing room. Aside from that we pour doubt on the credibility of Bruce Dickinson's polymath credentials and then get stuck into a bit of Black Sabbath.

Also, have we come full circle in the "what to feed ducks" debate that's been raging around the UK for the last decade or so? Tune in to find out!

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Pete saved a bird's life this week, but can he split the G on a pint of Guinness? And if he can, does that make him a 6 Music Dad? 

Elsewhere, the lads finally get around to discussing their highlights of Glastonbury, Luke goes to see the legendary Iron Maiden live and then there's a big old chat about instagram stalwart and professional adman Rory Sutherland, and his weird take on local buses.

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Remember when Pete went to Newquay and put his foot through the ceiling of an AirBnB? Well he's once again returned to the scene of the crime, only this time there's another bigger boy there to help him with his parenting.

Meanwhile, Luke somehow picks up two parking tickets in a single day, and a cafe in south London gets an astonishing delivery of beer. Oh, and then an orangutan entertains us all with his tales of derring-do. 

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It's a fine Thursday to discuss Pete's most inspirational piece of work yet - a lovely graphic of him kissing Noel Edmonds. Luke's not quite sure why he's done it, and being honest, nor is Pete. Still, it's nothing an entire box of Marc de Champagne truffles can't fix.

The lads also find time to talk about Jeremy Clarkson, and run the rule over your latest battery submissions. How many new players are going to enter the game this week? Tune in to find out!

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Rejoice, for Luke and Pete are back! And this time around they're talking Jeff Bezos' wedding - what's the small talk going to be like?

Meanwhile Pete is contemplating living off-grid as long as he can have a superfast broadband connection, which kind of defeats the point, and we hear from a genuinely inspirational vigilante Dad who, in a bastardisation of Liam Neeson in Taken, just wants his son's mountain bike back.

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In what is sure to become absolutely seismic news, Pete was accosted at a train station this week by a listener who quite simply hates Luke and his interrupting ways. An event that was sure to test Pete's small talk skills to the very limit. For his part, Luke took the events with his usual good grace, by which we mean he became his trademark belligerent self.

Also today, there's Rik Mayall, Tim Key, the dangers of buying too much outerwear and, of course, your latest battery submissions. Can we find yet another new player? Poke your head in to the tent and find out. 

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This is a show primarily about urination. But don't let that put you off! We all do it! But do we all do it on consecrated ground, or off of diving boards? Hope not, hope not. Elsewhere on your LAPS ep du jour we talk cherry trees, Pete's dog going on a mad one with some leeks and the sharing of criminal records between nations. There's also the discovery of an adorable new television show involving toddlers doing everyday tasks. Join us!

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