#064 The Infamy of Elder Red-Light

Jacob 5:37-77

How to buy an early ticket home from your mission

for the low price of banging a prostitute!

Brother Benjamin tells hilarious tales from

his mission to The Netherlands in the early 90s;

and how he slowly found himself ex-mormon in the

years that followed.

Then in the reading, Smitty moves on from frankensteining

a solitary olive tree, to franken-grafting the entire farm

so grotesquely he had to burn it down. Which was probably for the best.

He mistook the olive farm for a vineyard. Olive wine sounds hideous!

Memorable Quote 1:

Brother Benjamin: "I don't feel like we're gonna science our way out of this."

Memorable Quote 2:

Brother Benjamin: "They went and looked at some trees. And it came to pass, that the trees were shit"

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A nice review on any podcast platform will help frustrate the Heavenly Father's boring plans for your future.