The Inner Work Conversation

LINKS:

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CHECK OUT MY 200+ PODCAST EPISODES HERE: https://www.thrivewithnikkicross.co.uk/podcast

Book an enquiry call HERE

LINKS:

DOWNLOAD *FREE* THE INNER WORK ESSENTIALS HERE: https://courses.thrivewithnikkicross.co.uk/pl/2148295919

JOIN THE INNER WORK CLUB HERE: https://www.thrivewithnikkicross.co.uk/theinnerworkclub

FOLLOW ME ON INSTAGRAM HERE: https://www.instagram.com/_nikki_cross_/

PRIVATE 1:1 COACHING HERE: https://www.thrivewithnikkicross.co.uk/private-coaching

CHECK OUT MY 200+ PODCAST EPISODES HERE: https://www.thrivewithnikkicross.co.uk/podcast

Book an enquiry call HERE

LINKS:

DOWNLOAD *FREE* THE INNER WORK ESSENTIALS HERE: https://courses.thrivewithnikkicross.co.uk/pl/2148295919

JOIN THE INNER WORK CLUB HERE: https://www.thrivewithnikkicross.co.uk/theinnerworkclub

FOLLOW ME ON INSTAGRAM HERE: https://www.instagram.com/_nikki_cross_/

PRIVATE 1:1 COACHING HERE: https://www.thrivewithnikkicross.co.uk/private-coaching

CHECK OUT MY 200+ PODCAST EPISODES HERE: https://www.thrivewithnikkicross.co.uk/podcast

Book an enquiry call HERE

LINKS:

DOWNLOAD *FREE* THE INNER WORK ESSENTIALS HERE: https://courses.thrivewithnikkicross.co.uk/pl/2148295919

JOIN THE INNER WORK CLUB HERE: https://www.thrivewithnikkicross.co.uk/theinnerworkclub

FOLLOW ME ON INSTAGRAM HERE: https://www.instagram.com/_nikki_cross_/

PRIVATE 1:1 COACHING HERE: https://www.thrivewithnikkicross.co.uk/private-coaching

CHECK OUT MY 200+ PODCAST EPISODES HERE: https://www.thrivewithnikkicross.co.uk/podcast

Book an enquiry call HEREhttps://www.thrivewithnikkicross.co.uk/

We all (me included) make assumptions…

* About ourselves

* About business, opportunities and money

* About them and what their behaviour means

* About what this (now) means about then (future

And at a surface level, our assumptions aren’t THAT dangerous.

…Until you believe them.

…Until you treat them as FACT.

…Until you internalise them and take action from them.

…Until the constant and incessant checking to see if your assumption was right?!

…Until you start analysing yourSELF and your actions

…Until you project them onto the world and people.

THEN they’re dangerous. And by dangerous I specifically mean:

* They have the potential to close businesses

* They have the potential to chip away at your self esteem & self concept

* They have the potential to limit what you believe it possible for you

What’s your ‘go-to’ to escape how to feel?

* For some, the evasion is judgement, blame and anger.

* For others it’s logic. Jumping to a logical outcome that simply MUST be the truth and explains everything

* For some it’s deciding in advance “I can’t cope - its alllll fucked and I cant cope”

* For others it’s avoidance - throwing yourself head first into something …ANYTHING… that will help you to escape how you feel.

But none of these things are positioning you where you belong: in your power.

No.

No. No. F*****g NO.

Not on my watch.

There is another way.

This episode I’m giving you the steps I share with my own clients that I’ve seen effectively work (AND build new ways of coping with uncertainty) time after time.

It’s simple, but not easy.

It will require practice.

It’ll pay off.

What are you waiting for? Listen now!

P.S. Have you checked out my updated services yet? Click the button below and let’s get YOUR enquiry call booked in…

https://www.thrivewithnikkicross.co.uk/

P.S - I mentioned the ‘emotions wheel’ here’s a link to one: EMOTIONS WHEEL EXAMPLE

JOIN US IN THE THRIVE FIRST METHOD™ HERE

If you’ve been thinking of working with me, have you considered the Thrive First Method™?

If not. Do.

This episode is answers your questions with the intention of helping you make a powerful decision.

JOIN US IN THE THRIVE FIRST METHOD™ HERE

I mentioned other episodes too, so here are the links to them…

Episode 94 - Hear how my client used TFM to develop healthy working habits

Episode 95 - How to get of the hustle hamster wheel using TFM

Episode 96 - THIS client used TFM to help her complete a PhD (OMG!)

Episode 97 - How my client used TFM to help her with her career progression

Episode 98 - A snippet of Hour One

Episode 109 - My hot take on “goal setting”

LINKS:

DOWNLOAD *FREE* THE INNER WORK ESSENTIALS HERE: https://courses.thrivewithnikkicross.co.uk/pl/2148295919

JOIN THE INNER WORK CLUB HERE: https://www.thrivewithnikkicross.co.uk/theinnerworkclub

FOLLOW ME ON INSTAGRAM HERE: https://www.instagram.com/_nikki_cross_/

PRIVATE 1:1 COACHING HERE: https://www.thrivewithnikkicross.co.uk/private-coaching

CHECK OUT MY 200+ PODCAST EPISODES HERE: https://www.thrivewithnikkicross.co.uk/podcast

Book an enquiry call HERE

“I want to overcome self doubt”

“I want to beat my inner critic”

“I want to stop being afraid of failure”

…sound familiar?

I hear you.

You’re not alone - it’s what most of my clients want. Or is it..?

What I REALLY think you want is…

* To be ok with yourself when you are losing your s**t

* To be able to tolerate the discomfort of waiting, of uncertainty

* To increase your capacity for failing, things not going your way and being judged

And I think this episode will give you another perspective on the work I REALLY do

MENTIONED episodes:

178 - What’s it costing you to NOT do this work?

180 - 5 questions to ask yourself when you don’t feel supported

P.S. If you’re considering working together, may I strongly recommend you book in your enquiry call BEFORE the 30th September ‘23 as the doors to the Thrive First Method will be closing.

LINKS:

DOWNLOAD *FREE* THE INNER WORK ESSENTIALS HERE: https://courses.thrivewithnikkicross.co.uk/pl/2148295919

JOIN THE INNER WORK CLUB HERE: https://www.thrivewithnikkicross.co.uk/theinnerworkclub

FOLLOW ME ON INSTAGRAM HERE: https://www.instagram.com/_nikki_cross_/

PRIVATE 1:1 COACHING HERE: https://www.thrivewithnikkicross.co.uk/private-coaching

CHECK OUT MY 200+ PODCAST EPISODES HERE: https://www.thrivewithnikkicross.co.uk/podcast

Book an enquiry call HERE

LINKS:

MY SERVICES:

https://www.thrivewithnikkicross.co.uk/

BOOK AN ENQUIRY CALL: https://calendly.com/thrivelifeandbusiness/enquiry-call

What I’ve grown to learn is we are humans in business…but so many of us have been led to believe in order to be ‘successful’ …we must BEHAVE like robots.

Or at least, BE less human.

NEED less.

DO more.

In this episode, I’m sharing a very shared experience from a very personal place:

The unquestionable fact that when someone leaves your life, they also leave a gap (…USUALLY A GAPING HOLE…) in what they BROUGHT to your life. And as a responsible-ass-adult, it’s sort of on you to honour that, own that, and do something about that.

Love to hear your thoughts so as always share away.

And don’t forget - everything that I talk about on the Inner Work Conversation is just a snippet of the work that I ACTUALLY do with my clients, so if you want in, click below and let’s get your enquiry call booked in.

P.S - I mentioned the ‘Devi Prayer’ song - here’s the link to listen:

There is a common theme in the majority of my client testimonials - let’s see if you can spot it. Here, I’ll give you three examples:

TFM has made me look deeply at what I actually want, which was incredibly powerful (and what I actually want wasn’t what I thought!) and then align my time to achieve my goals. There is no hiding with this work. Enter only if you’re prepared to be honest, reflective AND prepared to do the hard inner work to change and grow.

I didn’t realise how much I was hiding from myself until working with Nik. She shines a light on the parts of yourself you’ve been hiding from and makes it ok to “go there”. That’s the biggest realisation for me: it’s safe for me to be honest with myself because I will support myself through all of it, even the behaviours that I am not necessarily proud of. I have learnt to back myself and the ripple effect in my business is undeniable.

If you’re going to do this work, as Nikki would say “strap in”. It’s empowering which is great, but that also means you have to take responsibility of your own stuff and that’s not always easy. Nikki is the best support you can find for this work.

…did you spot it?

It’s the unspoken bit. The thing that people mean when they basically say:

“It’s amazing, but be prepared to do the work.”

…and they’re not wrong.

But my GOD it’s worth it.

If listening to this episode has helped clear up for you what people REALLY mean when they say “be prepared to do the work” …then let’s chat - my enquiry call slots are open…

P.S. episodes mentioned:

167 Is coaching REALLY worth the investment? A client interview

179 - Owning what you want isn’t the easy option

150 - Join in on a LIVE session - peek into my work

158 A Thrive First Method snippet - how to support yourself

LINKS:

DOWNLOAD *FREE* THE INNER WORK ESSENTIALS HERE: https://courses.thrivewithnikkicross.co.uk/pl/2148295919

JOIN THE INNER WORK CLUB HERE: https://www.thrivewithnikkicross.co.uk/theinnerworkclub

FOLLOW ME ON INSTAGRAM HERE: https://www.instagram.com/_nikki_cross_/

PRIVATE 1:1 COACHING HERE: https://www.thrivewithnikkicross.co.uk/private-coaching

CHECK OUT MY 200+ PODCAST EPISODES HERE: https://www.thrivewithnikkicross.co.uk/podcast

Book an enquiry call HERE

Let’s work together:

https://www.thrivewithnikkicross.co.uk/

The work is ongoing.

For me, for you, for all of us - because we don’t “get there” or “overcome that” and just …stop. Be done. Cured. Fixed. Healed.

We are SUPPOSED to continue to evolve, grow, change, rebirth.

Sounds glamourous, in reality - feels like s**t.

When I think about my own evolution, the first thing I’m met with is the doubt. The self imposed (but very-real-feeling) limitations.

For me, there is a knowing that I feel like I was born with - it’s a deep knowing of my worth, what I want and what I feel I deserve.

But as I experience life (and particularly, business) it feels like continually being exposed to situations, circumstances and challenges that undermine that innate confidence.

THAT is how it feels, for ME.

Because deep down, the most ancient part of me is grounded, connected, stable, present and knowing. THAT is the part of me I find SO easy to bring to my clients, and the part of me I have to intentionally cultivate for myself.

I say intentional, because my natural go-to IS to avoid discomfort. But what I realise is it’s my EGO that doesn’t like the discomfort, which is the same part of me that needs to be humbled. And because of this, I personally can be slow on the uptake to change …BECAUSE it’s uncomfortable, and I APPRECIATE comfort.

I can be stubborn, I can resist letting go of control, I can find myself stuck.

And all of this contributes to my deep understanding of those I serve.

Being aware of what’s driving us…

Because when we are not conscious of our fears, it sees us looping around in circles.

When we don’t allow ourselves to recognise that we have blind spots, often it’s the things we aren’t aware of that are actually the driving force of our decisions & behaviour.

Often, we aren’t conscious of how afraid we are but often it’s THAT EXACT FEAR that is behind the scenes dictating our choices, pulling the strings.

Hence - we run into the same issues, each time dressed up in different clothes, and we don’t know why so we blame.

We blame

* Circumstances

* People

* Our environment

* Resources or lack of them …what restricts us

* Ourselves

Sometimes this also looks like clinging.

Clinging to what feels comfortable. EVEN IF WE DON’T REALLY WANT THE THING WE ARE CLINGING TO …if it feels like safety / security, we cling.

…If it’s the same theme that keeps arising, that’s possibly a sign that there is something needing to be dealt with.

Patiently. Lovingly. Respectfully.

How we handle it all…

All this considered, it’s important to be aware of how you cope when you don’t feel safe or secure.

* Do you calm your nervous system? Or do you distract yourself?

* Do you slow your thoughts down or feed into the speed of your racing mind with caffeine and mindless activity?

* Do you get very intentional about what you will and won’t practically do? Or do you distract yourself with frantic activity?

The fear, the anxiety - it’s asking something of you. It’s asking you to meet yourself.

But often we mistake ‘soothing’ ourselves for ‘meeting ourselves’.

Soothing has it’s place, but we can’t stay in that gear for the whole journey.

Soothing can take many forms:

* Overindulging - eating, shopping, spending, fixating, fixing

* Throwing yourself into work

* Hyper focusing on something disproportionately

…and a lot of the time, these things can even APPEAR positive, but if we are doing them MAINLY TO AVOID meeting ourselves, that’s when we need to pay attention.

What “it’s” trying to do…

For me personally. when I’ve over identified with something in life or business I often find that I meet resistance or in certain situations I even find that part of me being ‘burned down’.

This ‘burning down’ forces me to meet the parts of myself I’ve been avoiding, or soothing …but not REALLY dealing with.

It feels like my guardian angels saying “ok Nik’s not f*****g listening, let’s MAKE HER listen” …you know?

So what I believe to be true is…

* the resistance

* the darkness

* the challenges, adversity, uncertainty

…they’re there for us to MEET OURSELVES.

We want to grasp for control…

But the void won’t be filled by what you’re grasping to in order to control. And THIS forces us to question what is REALLY going on.

It’s not a punishment, you’re not a victim. You’ve not done anything WRONG. This is all just taking you deeper and encouraging you to develop more intimacy with yourself.

We are being stripped of all our usual methods we use to “feel” in control so that we can learn to surrender.

What IS surrender?

When there is no more…

* Questioning

* Doing

* Quick fixing

* Distractions

* Powering through

* Figuring it out

* Strategising & logic-ing through

* Outsourcing our power to a book or a guru or tarot reader

THAT is surrender.

Because none of these things work long term.

They work temporarily. They work on situations, not on your inner world. Not forever.

The “being here now” without controlling.

The “being here now” without fixing.

THAT’S surrender.

When the situation presented to you isn’t what you want or expected it to be or is displeasing to you and you SIT WITH yourself in that place.

THAT is surrender.

You let it be, rather than control how it is.

It doesn’t mean “doing nothing”. It simply means not resisting what it is.

In that moment you aren’t living into the story of who you’ve been saying you are.

In that moment you let go of control which makes you wake up to the realisation that the control wasn’t even actually working in the first place.

When you’re spinning out, you subconsciously think that the spinning will be the thing that gets you out of it. That gets rid of it.

When you’re soothing you subconsciously thing that it’ll distract you long enough for it to go away.

But these things wont’ liberate you. Won’t empower you. Won’t free you.

The acceptance will.

True, embodied empowerment

So instead of fighting for control through superficial means, you regain your real power.

Often we are so afraid to be in our own power that instead we choose to be a victim of our powerlessness.

We project.

We give the power to the “if”.

“If I am _______ THEN I’ll be ok.”

“If I have _____ THEN I’ll be ok.”

“If I achieve ____ THEN I’ll be ok.”

No.

Empowerment is OWNING your s**t AS MUCH AS owning your brilliance.

It’s incorporating the wisdom you’ve rightfully earned from surrender.

It’s connecting to the inner reasons why the outer stuff feels so hard and owning it.

All of it.

Taking responsibility for it.

I wish this for you, and for me.

I hope that we can continue to not dishonour ourselves but instead honour the journey for everything that it is.

And from that place, with that intention, I am cheering you on.

Nik x

OOOOH I've learnt a LOT this year (and much of it has felt like a huge slap in the face with a wet fish)...but it feels SO nourishing to reflect on it all and share with you. Cheers to another year! Nik x