Put on your red dress and join us for the Baker’s Dozenth episode of The Jedediaries. In 2018, Jedediah and Torrey sing some songs for each other. Torrey tells a tale of an attempt to ingratiate. Jedediah comes up with a bunch of bad metaphors for how we’re dealing with the diary. And in 1993, Little Jed upsets modern day Jed a bunch.

Please, if you can help us solve any of our mysteries, call the tip line: 802-851-9578.

Gather round the campfire and listen to Torrey tell The Tale of the Terrible DJ. After discussing Storms and Trials (and Podcasts) of the Century, and introducing themselves thrice, the boys get into the diary where: Little Jed makes a TV, engages in self-censorship, is the most tired he has ever been, thinks the milk tastes like water, and plays a story-telling game. Meanwhile in 2018: cereal subterfuge, flour-babies, baby chicks, and Toys v Games.

It's Bodie Week, apparently! Back in 1993, Little Jed mostly talks about the actions and misadventures of Bodie the parakeet. Meanwhile, in 2018, Jedediah & Torrey discuss how the past is prologue, how many orgasms a man can have in his life, and how to keep a secret record of how much you’ve been masturbating. DISCLAIMER: We talk about masturbating in this one.

Torrey & Jedediah try to figure out “What’s the point?” by way of Kierkegaard, Quantum Leap, and carpometacarpal arthritis. A voicemail from Josey and a phone call with Matt make Jed truly question his perception of events. Torrey admits to being insufficiently thankful.

Get ready for a wide-ranging discussion this week, covering topics as diverse as the birth and death of cells, the creation and loss of teeth, millennials, the Pinewood Derby, self-loathing, the number 13, and a new #1 song in America. A classmate of Jedediah & Torrey’s calls in to shed some light on a question from last week, and Little Jed wastes the rest of his Winter Break before heading back to school and taking a bath.

It’s Winter Break in 1993, and Little Jed isn’t dealing with it well. Torrey’s mom Sandy calls in to corroborate Torrey’s theory, and Jedediah calls his brother Josey to corroborate farts.

We finally make contact with the elusive Mrs. Waring! She gives us some insights into the mind and motivations of a 12-year-old. Joining Jedediah and Torrey for this episode is the oft-mentioned Matt, and together they tackle topics like sleepovers (which there’s a lot of talk about this week), alarm clocks (are red or blue ones more disruptive?), The Incredible Crash Dummies (the toys, not the band), Little Jed’s 12th birthday party (which happened 25 years ago today despite it being Matt’s actual birthday yesterday [Happy Birthday, Matt!]), and the surprising and salacious and unsuccessfully redacted events of that night. Along the way, Little Jed messes up calling a phone number, is SUPER sleepy, and almost kills his pet bird. Drew the illustrations? Torrey Paquette. Wrote and performed the theme song? Marshall York. Guest hosted? Matt Sacco. #releasethetapeWCAX

Another week, another computer game. But first, Lily Sloane of podcast A Therapist Walks Into a Bar calls in with a question regarding imagined audiences, to which Jedediah has an unsatisfying answer. Back in 1993, Little Jed gets a haircut, beats TWO computer games, finishes a book, watches a Spaniel win the Westminster Dog Show, enjoys some friend-penned MacGyver comics, and wears a great (???) t-shirt. Along the way, some surprising and questionable revelations come about regarding the speed of his media consumption. Oh, and the boys call Jed’s mom a bunch.

Warning: spoilers for Jurassic World.

Marshall York did the theme song, Torrey Paquette did the artwork, you did the listening.

I hope you like baths as much as Jedediah does, because this episode’s full of them. Along the way, we learn more about Torrey, receive a normal phone call and a mysterious phone call, and watch little Jed beat computer game after computer game (in between baths). Theme song: Marshall York. Artwork: Torrey Paquette. Pizza: House of Pizza.

Torrey takes a whack at introducing the show but Jedediah isn’t having it. After some corrections, clarifications, and education, they dig into the diary, and THIS week, things get… dark. Little Jed engages in some problematic nomenclature, refuses to believe in himself, consumes an unsatisfying dessert, sucks at magic, and levels a troubling accusation at his classmates. Also! We now have a tip-line! Call and leave a message at 802-851-9578, and tell us all your hopes and dreams. Artwork by Torrey Paquette, theme song by Marshall York, listening by you.