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Influence is happening to you all day long. The only question is whether you can see it, and whether you are willing to use it honestly.
If you have ever tried to move someone toward a decision and hit nothing but pushback, this episode is for you. On this episode of The KeyHire Small Business Podcast, Corey Harlock sits down with Barry Moline, CEO of BJM Solutions and author of Connect! How to Quickly Collaborate for Success in Business and Life, to unpack the science of influence and persuasion and how small business owners can use it to sell more, lead better, and build stronger teams.
This is not a conversation about manipulation or gimmicks. Barry, a certified trainer in Dr. Robert Cialdini's method of ethical influence, sets one clear ground rule early: everything discussed has to be true, has to make sense to the other person, and has to be wise enough that you would recommend it to your own family. That standard separates real persuasion from the snake oil salesman who makes the sale today and is long gone when it stops working tomorrow.
From there, Barry walks through three practical elements of ethical influence that any business owner can start using immediately. The first is enhancing relationships. He explains why liking begins with curiosity, asking questions and making people feel seen instead of trying to impress them. He covers unity, or finding common ground, and why simply calling your people a team can build loyalty. And he breaks down reciprocity, the chocolate shop and Costco effect, where giving something away, even information or a compliment, creates goodwill that comes back later.
The second element is reducing uncertainty. Here Barry shows how authority and social proof help customers feel confident enough to say yes. He shares why you should never read your own bio, how a simple introduction as our expert can lift sales, and why testimonials, reviews, and award-winning credentials matter so much. Corey and Barry also offer a practical tip for business owners: if you want customer testimonials, write a draft for your happy clients and let them edit it, because most people will never write one from scratch.
The third element is motivating people to act. Barry explains ethical scarcity and how it differs from the endless fake sales that train buyers to wait. He covers consistency, the power of getting a small yes first, and ties it back to Chris Voss and the art of the strategic no. Finally, he explains reducing friction, using a furniture store that boosted couch sales simply by offering to haul away the old one, and why understanding why customers say no is one of the most valuable things you can learn.
What makes this episode work is how usable it is. Corey keeps bringing the ideas back to the small business owner who wears too many hats, and every concept comes with a real-world example you can apply to your sales team, your leadership, your marketing, and even your everyday conversations.
If you are a business owner, sales leader, consultant, or entrepreneur who wants to communicate more effectively, build trust, and move people toward yes without feeling salesy, this episode is a must-listen. Tune in for a smart, engaging conversation on behavioral economics, ethical influence, and the persuasion techniques that quietly shape every decision around us.
KEY TAKEAWAYS
Ethical influence has three tests: it has to be true, it has to make sense to the person you are talking to, and it has to be wise enough that you would recommend it to your own kids, spouse, or colleagues. If what you are moving someone toward fails any of those, you are not persuading, you are manipulating, and you will see that person again tomorrow.
Liking starts with curiosity, not credentials: people do not walk away impressed by your background, they walk away liking you because you asked about theirs. Barry describes it as a volleyball rally rather than an interrogation, and Corey points out it is the same skill that separates the best leaders, who ask questions and make people feel seen, from the ones who just talk.
Unity is built by naming it: find common ground and then say it out loud. Call the group a team, whether that is team sales, team IT, or team plumbers, and put people in logo shirts. It sounds hokey the first time a leader says it, but people want to belong to something, and they notice the leader who gives them that.
Reciprocity is targeted karma: the chocolate shop that hands out samples sees sales climb 50% to 150%, and the farmers market vendor who has someone handing fruit to passersby outsells the booth with a bowl on the table. A bowl is not a gift; a person giving it to you is. The same applies to information, a heads up, or a compliment, and none of it is one for one, so do not expect the return today.
Never read your own bio: reciting your background is bragging, but the same words coming from someone else confer authority. A London real estate firm lifted rentals by over 15% by having the receptionist say let me introduce you to our expert in the Chelsea area instead of just transferring the call. Hang the diplomas, the certificates, and the awards, because authority works even when nobody says a word about it.
When people cannot find an expert, they go to the crowd: that is why reviews, award-winning credentials, and testimonials carry so much weight. If you want testimonials, do not just ask, because roughly nine out of ten happy customers will never write one. Draft it for them and let them edit it, and most will say yes.
Scarcity only works when it is real: the endless President's Day, Fourth of July, and Labor Day sale trains buyers to wait for the next one. A limited run of 25 pieces, an early bird conference rate tied to a real planning deadline, or 17 seats actually left is honest scarcity, and honest scarcity is the only kind that keeps working.
Get the small yes first, or use the strategic no: a police department could not get anyone to put a two foot lawn sign up, so they asked for a three by five postcard in the window instead. Everyone said yes, and weeks later most of those same people took the sign. The flip side is Chris Voss territory, where asking are you against this lets people say no and feel in control, which clears the way for the real conversation.
Reducing friction is the one most owners skip: a furniture store was losing couch sales over one unanswered question, what do we do with the old one. They started hauling old couches away and sales took off. When someone says no, ask why, because you may be able to fix it for them, and if not, you have just learned something for the next customer.
LINKS & RESOURCES
Connect with Barry Moline on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/barry-moline-29b99a53/
Learn more about Barry Moline and BJM Solutions: https://barrymoline.com
Email Barry directly: [email protected]
Get the book, Connect! How to Quickly Collaborate for Success in Business and Life: https://www.amazon.com/Connect-Quickly-Collaborate-Success-Business/dp/1977209084
Connect with Corey Harlock on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/coreyharlock/
Learn more about KeyHire Solutions: https://www.keyhire.solutions
Subscribe on Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-keyhire-small-business-podcast/id1643962763
Subscribe on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/1FT9oqXSek3jMfiKrZPLQs
EPISODE CHAPTERS
0:00 – Introduction: there is a science to moving people toward yes
1:50 – Looking back at Stefan Boehmer on incentive plans and Tony Manganiello on employee cash flow
4:33 – Meet Barry Moline: CEO of BJM Solutions and author of Connect!
5:23 – What behavioral economics actually means
6:38 – Chris Voss and the power of a no oriented question
7:47 – The ethics umbrella: true, makes sense, and wise
11:26 – The snake oil salesman and why trust outlasts the sale
12:15 – The three elements: relationships, uncertainty, and action
13:51 – Learning the method from Dr. Robert Cialdini, and why liking starts with questions
16:27 – The high school experiment and what it taught Corey about curiosity
20:15 – Unity, common ground, and the Calgary Flames jersey in Nashville
22:27 – Call yourselves a team, and why logo shirts work
24:46 – Reciprocity: the chocolate shop, the fruit vendor, and the Costco effect
29:17 – Targeted karma: giving information, a heads up, or a compliment
30:18 – Reducing uncertainty: authority, uniforms, and never reading your own bio
31:44 – The Chelsea rental study and the power of our expert
34:30 – Social proof, reviews, and the award-winning label
36:20 – How to actually get testimonials: write the draft for them
36:48 – Motivating action and the problem with fake scarcity
39:19 – Consistency, the small yes, and the lawn sign study
40:19 – Letting people say no so they feel in control
43:31 – Reducing friction: hauling away the old couch
45:48 – Barry recaps all three elements
46:47 – Where to find Barry and the book