Valentine’s Day is when the world stops and thinks of love for one particular day but it should be something we think of and be growing in our homes each and every day. At a time when so many people have been hurt by broken marriages and families it is so important to never give up on the best dreams that God has for marriages and families. It's one thing to love at some times, but it is not automatic to keep the fires of love burning at all times. And that’s why we need the help of God who is the very essence of love.

In the Bible there are different meanings of the word love. 'Eros' refers to sensual or romantic love; 'storge' describes love and affection within the family; 'philia' refers to deep friendships. But the word meaning the highest form of love is from the word 'agape' which defines God's immeasurable, pure, perfect, unconditional and sacrificial love. This is the love that Jesus showed by His death on the cross, and it is this word for love that the apostle Paul uses in 1 Corinthians 13 v 4-7:

'4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.'

It is this kind of love that will bring blessing to our homes and families as the Holy Spirit helps us to develop the aspects of love listed in this passage.

Apply

Use the characteristics of love that the apostle Paul lists as a checklist for love in your own heart, family life and home:

1. Love is patient: Do you need to be more patient with your children or others? We also need more patience as we get older, especially if one of us forgets something, mishears or is just slower to do things. Thankfully the closer we keep to God the more this patience grows in our character.

2. Love is kind: Are you kinder to your family than to anyone else? Do your actions, words and tone of voice communicate love and kindness? The things we say and do have far more impact when done with kindness. Choose encouraging words, not harsh responses.

3. Love does not envy: Do you compare yourself with others? Never be jealous of one another. Don’t compare yourself with others. Make sure that no one has a competitive spirit with others in the family. Appreciate and be happy in each other's success.

4. Love does not boast: Be careful to guard against a superior attitude with each other and understand the pressures that boasting of your achievements can put on your family.

5. Love is not proud: There is no place for pride in marriage or the family. In reality it is in the home where you first need to learn humility and to say sorry. It sounds easy but it isn’t if you can’t bring yourself to ever admit that you are at fault.

6. Love is not rude: How you honour each other will affect you and your children. If you speak dishonouring words to or about each other your children will too. When you show honour to each other and to your children they will also learn to honour

7. Love is not self-seeking: Love is not all about our wants and needs! It’s about considering the needs of your husband or wife first, and if you have them, your children as well. It’s about thinking about their needs, their feelings, their concerns. It’s about planning together, making decisions together and not always taking control.

8. Love is not easily angered: Maybe you have grown up experiencing anger that can quickly explode for little or no reason. But this is not right and must not be regarded as normal. Rather we need the Holy Spirit so that we can exercise self-control which brings love and drives out all fear.

9. Love keeps no record of wrongs: Corrie Ten Boom, the great Dutch Christian who survived Ravensbruck concentration camp, said: “God takes our sins – the past, present, and future, and dumps them in the sea and puts up a sign that says 'No Fishing Allowed'.” We should also forgive and forget to have the best relationships in the home. Make it a habit not to bring up the hurts and wrongs of the past.

10. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth: Never accept any form of evil and ungodly standards in your home. Create a different culture celebrating the truth of God’s Word, and the principles and love of His kingdom.

11. Love always protects: Do you daily protect your family spiritually with prayer and reading and sharing God's Word together? Protection involves physical protection for one another and also emotional and spiritual protection from outside negative influences (e.g. negative people, words and unsuitable TV programmes, websites, books and magazines).

12. Love always trusts: Do you choose to trust when there has been misunderstanding, hurt or pain? Broken trust can take time to grow again but it can be restored.

13. Love always hopes: Whatever state your home is in, there is always hope for your family. Keep trusting and hoping in God and his promises that you and your descendants after you can be blessed.

14. Love always perseveres: Do you want to quit on one another when things are tough? Love never gives up. Don’t walk out or switch off. Always keep faith with one another. The best days are ahead for you and your family. Don’t give up your dreams, your prayers, your love for them.

15: Love never fails: We may fail but God’s love never fails. And if we keep working with His help to develop the love, our marriages and families will never fail. God’s Word is true. His love never fails and it won’t fail for you either when you have God’s love in your heart.

What the world needs right now is a whole lot more of the real love and message of Jesus and a whole lot less of fake and negative religion. Of course there is no such species as a perfect Christian, but every real Christian will constantly aim to be more Christ like rather than just being religious. Jesus Himself was unjustly convicted, cruelly beaten and crucified as a result of the politics and lies of religious leaders.

In Mark 8:15 Jesus gave a very strong warning not to get caught up with religion, saying ‘look out; keep on your guard and beware of the leaven of the Pharisees.’

Just as yeast is a tiny, single-cell organism that can affect a whole loaf of bread, so also just a little bit of wrong religious influence can contaminate many others. Basically, Jesus is saying that if you want to live as a real Christian you had better not be like the Pharisees and you need to very much guard yourself from those who have that kind of spirit. So we see contrasts that show why religion is such bad news and real Christianity is good news:

1. Religion stops people, rather than helps people, in getting close to God (Matthew 23:13-14; Matthew 27:51; Hebrews 4:16)
2. Religion lays great stress on the external; Christianity focuses on the internal (Mark 7:1-23)
3. Religion trusts in self-righteousness instead of God’s righteousness (Luke 18:9-14; James 4:6)
4. Religion breeds stubbornness and hard-heartedness instead of a gentle and giving attitude (Luke 6:6-13; Mark 3:4-5)
5. Religion is miserable but real Christianity is joyful (Matthew 21:14-16; Romans 14:17)

Apply

Have you experienced Jesus or religion? Does how you live your life model Jesus and help others come close to God? Sadly many people who were brought up in church schools, church families and church communities may never have come into a real experience of Christ (Matthew 23:13-14). Maybe they became disillusioned because their parents or others publicly appeared to be faithful Christians but in private, they were critical, cynical and compromised. Or maybe they experienced a form of religion that was all rules and duties rather than being about a powerful, life-giving relationship with God. Matthew 27:51: says that when Jesus died on the cross ‘At that moment the curtain of the temple’ (that separated an unholy people from a holy God) ‘was torn in two from the top to the bottom.’ This means that we can now come directly to God (Hebrews 4:16).

Are you more concerned about how you appear to others or about the state of your heart? In Mark 7:1-23 The Pharisees criticised the disciples of Jesus who were eating without giving their hands a traditional ceremonial handwashing. Jesus, however, insisted that what was most important was whether their own hearts, not their hands, were clean. Very often religious people focus on how a person looks or how much charisma they have rather than what they are like in their attitudes and character. They split hairs over non-essential doctrine, or tell you what food or wine you can or can’t have, or even what movies you can watch. Real Christianity has no room for petty regulations and does not stand on religious ceremony. Rather it always gets down to the basic issues of what we are really like and whether we are living right (i.e. Jesus defined adultery as not just the act but the thought, and said we are like murderers when then is anger in the heart). Racism has often flourished under the cover of religion (i.e. apartheid South Africa and in so-called gospel churches). But as a real Christian or genuine church community, you cannot be racist. In the ministry of King’s Church International we continue to be strongly committed to being a multi-racial, multi-generational church for all people.

Are you self-righteous or focussed on God's righteousness? Luke 18:9-14 tells the parable of the Pharisee and the tax collector who went to the temple to pray. The Pharisee could not see or admit his need of God. He felt superior to the miserable sinner next to him. It was the tax collector, however, who God accepted because he was real and humble. You must humble yourself to become a Christian by admitting that you are a sinner in need of God’s grace and mercy (James 4:6). And to develop as a disciple of Christ you must be obedient to Him and always remain teachable.

Have you been religious, stubborn and hard-hearted, or do you have a gentle and giving attitude like Jesus? Luke 6:6-13 gives the account of Jesus healing a man with a shrivelled hand which made the self-important religious people mad (Mark 3:4-5, Luke 6:11). All the religious leaders wanted to do was to trip Jesus up and pull Him down because He was a threat to their position and reputation. They had no concern whatsoever for the man who needed healing. Religious people, often in positions of influence, can become hard-hearted and unbending, critical and mean spirited because their self-will has never yielded to Christ. Even the highly trained and violent Pharisee Saul had to be broken in by God, totally taken apart and put back together before he could be of any use as the great apostle Paul. To be a real follower of Christ you must have a gentle, generous and softened heart.

Is your life full of joy or do you feel miserable most of the time? The religious leaders were not happy with people freely praising God, especially the children (Matthew 21:14-16). Religious people so often are miserable people: they don’t have the joy of the Lord and they don’t like people who have happily drunk of the new wine of the Holy Spirit. They are like the elder brother who is mad that the Father throws a big party for the lost son who has returned home from his messed-up life in a far country. But the Father wants everyone to rejoice in the amazing grace of God. He wants to show forgiveness to the son who has sinned and to give him new hope and dignity. He wants to welcome him home with hugs and kisses and feasting. This is what God’s kingdom is really like (Romans 14:17). So what are you going to be: religious or a real Christian? If you have been religious in ways mentioned above, then you should face up to it, totally repent and make a clean break from its highly toxic influence. And if you are a real Christian, enjoy every day and stay well clear of the leaven of the Pharisees.

God has the best plans for you this year and for every day of your life. Throughout the Bible there are many verses that speak very positively about prosperity and refer to both material and spiritual blessings. God wants you to enjoy favour and to flourish in your health, in your family, in your ministry and in your finances.

Of course, the Bible clearly teaches that the love of money is a sin and that we cannot serve God and money. Also, we need to be content in all situations (Philippians 4:12). And for sure, a righteous person may have many troubles, including financial troubles, but the Lord loves and delivers the righteous and wants to give blessing in every area of life.

There are many Bible verses which speak about prosperity, including: 2 Corinthians 9:10-11; Deuteronomy 29:9; Joshua 1:8; Psalm 84:11; Psalm 128:1-2; Isaiah 45: 6-7; Proverbs 28:25; Genesis 39:2, 21-23; and Job 42:10, 12-13.

You can be blessed in different ways but particularly in your finances, even if you are going through tough times. We see some simple lessons from a powerful story in 2 Kings 4:1-7 about how a widow in great trouble saw a total turnaround in her finances and family life.

1. God wants to help you (2 Kings 4:1-2)
a. In your finances
b. In your family (Psalm 146:9)
2. God wants you to see what you already have (2 Kings 4:2)
a. Don't focus on the negative
b. Focus on what you have got (John 6:9)
3. God wants you to prepare for big things (2 Kings 4:3-6)
a. Ask for help
b. Create extra capacity
c. Shut the door behind you
d. Keep going
4. God wants to work miracles for you and through you (2 Kings 4:6-7)
a. God’s supply will continue as long as you are ready to receive it
b. God supply will meet your needs
c. God supply will set you free and set you up

Apply

Do you believe that God is going to help you this year no matter how difficult your circumstances are right now? The widow in 2 Kings 4 was a godly lady with a good family, but when her husband died she was left with no money and her two sons were about to be taken as slaves to cover the family’s debts. Maybe at the start of this year you too are really struggling in your life and circumstances. Maybe you don’t know how you are going to make it through the month, never mind the year. Perhaps you are very worried about your finances and can’t see how anything could change. But it can change because God cares for you. Sometimes we, as Christians, are the key to helping people in need but at all times God wants to help people (v2). God is for you. Even if some of the troubles you face are the result of your wrong decisions, mistakes or even sins, God still looks with compassion on you. He wants to help you in your finances. This is your year to come out of debt. If you are out of a job you can have a job or start a business. If you need a promotion you can see it. This year we should believe for supernatural and abundant provision in our lives, our families and in the church. God also wants to help you in your family. Maybe some of your kids might be also be in trouble like the two boys in this story but God did not want them to become slaves to anyone or anything. He was concerned for them and He is concerned for your family also. You may feel alone in having to help your family, but you are not (Psalm 146:9). God loves you and wants to help you all.

Do you need to shift from a negative to a positive mindset? God wants you to see what you already have (v2), not to focus on the negative. The widow needed to change from a negative mindset of thinking she had ‘nothing there at all’. It is easy to think negatively and speak negatively when all the circumstances are negative, but you must not do this. Negativity kills faith so take control of negative thoughts and don’t declare negative words. Stop focusing on what you haven’t got or what went wrong. Instead focus on what you have got (v2b). The widow understood that she did have something. She just had a little bit of oil but that was enough for God to work with. God was going to make that oil go further than she ever imagined. The Bible tells us not to ‘despise the day of small things’ and Jesus took five small loaves and two small fish (John 6:9) to feed many thousands. So, what blessings, skills or contacts do you have? Look at what you have and put it to work. Equally look at what you can do to improve the spiritual condition of your family. Be faithful to pray for them and encourage them. Focus on the mustard seed of faith that you have because it has the power to remove the mountain before you.

How are you preparing yourself for the big things God has in store for your life? If you need to ask for help, such as asking your boss for a raise or sponsorship for a qualification, or making your case to your bank, then do so (v3). Ask for advice from spiritual leaders too. The more capacity we create to earn finances the more opportunities you give for God to bless you (v3). Why start one micro business if you can start two or more? If you want to see more people become Christians, then talk to more people about the Lord. The more we pray for people and with people the more we will get answers. To see your miracle shut the door on all distractions (v4-5). Shut the door on the past and put it behind you. Then you must keep going (v5-6): keep on pouring, praying, giving, serving, studying and working. Once you do all you can to prepare for blessing, God will do what you cannot.

Are you expectant to see God work miracles for you and through you? Everything changed when God helped this widow and her family (v6-7). Their immediate needs were met plus they had a new income for the future. As they obeyed God they soon moved from poverty to prosperity. And you can too. God’s supply will continue as long as you are ready to receive it and will meet your needs. It will set you free and set you up for the future. When we have done our best, God will do the rest. At the start of this year do all you can as individuals and families to put your house in order. Make sure you're a clean channel that God can pour His blessing through. Then expect 2021 be a year for all kinds of prosperity.

All over the world people are turning to prayer in this time of global pandemic. So often, it is in tough times that people discover the power of prayer. Abraham Lincoln, president over a country divided by a horrific Civil War, said: "I have been driven many times upon my knees by the overwhelming conviction that I had nowhere else to go."

Today, as we face so many challenges in the nations and in our own lives, we really need to discover or rediscover how to really pray, not just pray prayers as a religious exercise. One person who knew how to pray when things were in a mess and found how to receive answers from God, was the biblical character of Nehemiah. An amazing transformation that was to take place in Jerusalem, began when one man had an encounter with God. In this story we can learn some essential lessons of effective prayer.

1. Come before God with a broken spirit (Nehemiah 1:4)
a. Weep for ourselves
b. Weep for others
2. Set aside time to fast and pray (Nehemiah 1:4; Mark 9:29; Joel 2:12-13; Isaiah 58:6)
3. Focus on the greatness and faithfulness of God (Nehemiah 1:5-6; Hebrews 4:16)
4. Confess all sin (Nehemiah 1:6-7; 1 John 1:9)
5. Pray in line with God's Word Nehemiah 1:8-11; Acts 4:24-25; Psalm 2:1-2)
6. Be specific in your prayers (Nehemiah 1:11; Nehemiah 2:4)
7. Expect to receive answers to God (Nehemiah 2:8)

Apply

Do you weep and mourn about the areas of your life and family that are broken down? Are you keenly aware of your personal need of God’s presence? When news first reached Nehemiah of the broken-down state of Jerusalem, his own heart was broken (Nehemiah 1:4). It was his anguish of spirit that drove him to pray. Weeping so often precedes the reaping of many blessings. It’s important that we experience what it is to weep for ourselves, our families and for others. For many Christians it’s time to rebuild our relationship with the Lord and our prayer, Bible reading and study. It’s time to get serious about a fresh encounter with God. It is not enough to know about God. You need to constantly experience Him for yourself. You will only know real change in your life when you know that God has brought healing and hope to you heart. Also it’s important that we weep for others. Jesus, like Nehemiah, wept over Jerusalem. William Booth, pioneer of the Salvation Army, wept over the sins of London and the felt the pain of millions of lost souls. David Wilkerson, founder of the Times Square Church, wept over the derelict spiritual state of New York and started a ministry that rescued many thousands of gang leaders, addicts and criminals. Are we touched enough by the broken state of the people of our towns, cities and nations to weep before God for them?

Do you set aside time to fast and pray regularly? Fasting and prayer are often linked together in the Bible to show how God’s power and purpose can be revealed when people are seriously focussed on having a spiritual breakthrough (Mark 9:29). For prayer and fasting to be effective, they must never be just a religious practice (Joel 2:12-13; Isaiah 58:6). Jesus taught that the proud Pharisees’ prayer and fasting would only be effective when they had changed hearts and treated people right, starting with their own families.

Do you focus on the greatness and faithfulness of God in all circumstances? Nehemiah looked beyond the negative news he heard to focus on the greatness of God and His unchanging righteous character (Nehemiah 1:5-6). He understood that God is awesome and has the power to change any situation. He knew that God is a faithful covenant-keeping God who always responds to those who love, obey and pray constantly to Him. Nehemiah was clear that he was both a servant of God and part of the people of God. When we also know that we have been adopted into the family of God through the blood of Jesus we too can come confidently to God with our requests (Hebrews 4:16).

Are you real with God about the state of your heart and life? Nehemiah wasn’t trying to fake it with God. He wasn’t trying to shift the blame to others or make excuses and minimise his sin. He admitted that that his people, his nation and his own family had sinned (Nehemiah 1:6-7). He personally had sinned and was totally honest with God. If we want to see spiritual breakthrough in nations, communities and families, there has to come very real and very humble confession of resentments, bitterness, anger, pride, disobedience, jealousy, immorality, deceit, unfaithfulness, racism and injustice. Don’t point the finger at others; confess you own sin. The more genuine we are with confession and repentance, the more freedom and forgiveness we will experience (1 John 1:9).

Do you pray in line with God's Word and His promises for your life? Are your prayers specific? Nehemiah knew the promises of God and made them the basis of His appeal to God (Nehemiah 8-11). The apostles also prayed like this when they were released from prison (Acts 4:24; Psalm 2:1-2). It is very powerful when we know God’s promises and learn to pray with the Word of God, for God is faithful to His Word in every age and situation. Nehemiah's prayers were also specific (Nehemiah 1:11). When the King asked him “What is it you want?” (Nehemiah 2:4), he made a number of very clear requests in order to rebuild Jerusalem's broken walls. We need equally to be very clear what we want from our Heavenly king and even earthly kings, to rebuild what is broken.

Do you truly expect God to answer with miraculous outcomes? Nehemiah asked big and received big (Nehemiah 2:8). Through prayer, Nehemiah, despite a lot of opposition, was able to gather a very dedicated team and the walls of Jerusalem which had been broken down for over a century were rebuilt in just 52 days. Today we can quickly see many great and positive changes. With God’s help we can be part of a great movement of rebuilding of lives, homes, churches and nations. It all starts when we live and pray in the right way.


To help everyone focus more on the Bible we have started a new Bible reading plan on our KCI App (free to download). If you follow this every day, you will be able to read the Bible through twice this year. As you read the Bible carefully, ask the Holy Spirit to apply the Scriptures to your own life and situation.