Please…sit. And welcome to the Church of Apocalypse Video. I’m your host and pastor, Dave, and joining me are fellow disciples with New York accents, Mike and Ryan.

Today, we will be reading from the Book of Marty. Chapter 19, Verse 88: The Last Temptation of Christ.

Topics of discussion in this sermon include how Jesus basically walks around throwing glitter in the air as he runs through his greatest hits of miracles; we wonder why every woman at this time is named Mary; and finally, Jesus has his own Inner Light* episode as he learns one of the most important lesions in religion: always be sure to ask an angel for their I.D.

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That’ll do it for this station of Apocalypse Video’s Jesusary. When we return, we will be concluding our observance of this most holy month with a page from the Book of Murphy: Chapter 19, Verse 93 - RoboCop the Third (aka: RoboCop 3).

*See Season 5, Episode 25 of Star Trek: The Next Generation (coming to a future Trek-Cast near you!)