Interview with Family Law Practicioner Joana Kaso. 

For further support, you can find her at joanakasolaw.com

Influence Over Authority

A leader needs to know what already influences others in order to influence them in the way that they want. Once trust is established, a leader that has learned to manage their emotions will always influence their team members by breaking down their fears, their limiting beliefs, and take action with courage on their behalf. A leader’s role is to always see the potential in their team and bring out the best in them. When a leader operates in that way, their team members become their loyal fans and will serve their customers with the same loyalty and level of respect.

 

When going from operator to owner in your business, learning good leadership skills on how to lead your teams is crucial to the continued success of your business. As Tony Robbins says, “Leaders anticipate, losers react.” Leadership is not for the weak at heart. It’s for courageous people and can absolutely be learned. The more confident and calm a leader is, the more of the same energy will be projected onto their team and culture in order to move the company forward.

 

Here are some great books on leadership that I recommend:

• Start With Why by Simon Sinek
• Infinite Game by Simon Sinek
• Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill
• Relentless by Tim Grover

 

Building a Culture of Trust

 

Trust takes time to build and seconds to break. This is certainly true in your company’s environment as well. As the leader, you want to make sure that you create a culture where employees feel comfortable and safe to open up and come to you and your management team with any concerns that they might have at any time. Being thoughtful with the little details about their work and personal lives help with connecting and building those trusting relationships among your team.

 

Showing empathy and understanding when communicating with employees about things that matter most to them is a sure way to connect with them on a deeper level and build those meaningful relationships. Listening empathetically and reflecting back to them what you hear is a sure way to make them feel heard and valued. It makes them feel like they matter to you and your company. A valued team member is a loyal employee to your business and customers.

 

Building a relationship is hard no matter who it’s with. As a leader, building relationships with your employees will open doors for you and for them. Remember that trust is a two-way street. Show that you trust them, and your employees will automatically trust you.

 

Stay tuned for more great topics and tips that you can use in your life and business right away. If you found this post helpful today, be sure to subscribe because it will only get better from here. I cannot wait to connect with you here again next week!

 

For more, I have a FREE “Guide to Top 10 Mental Blocks for Entrepreneurs” https://elona-lopari-coaching.mykajabi.com/pl/125323

 

There is a five-stage model for small business growth that we can use to help categorize our own businesses. In their Harvard Business Review whitepaper entitled The Five Stages of Small Business Growth, Neil C. Churchill and Virginia L. Lewis state that the five stages are:

1. Existence
2. Survival
3. Success
4. Take-Off (Growth)
5. Resource Maturity

In this article, we will go over each stage of small business growth to help you determine where your business is and what you can do next.

Stage 1: Existence

A small business at this stage is challenging, especially since the owner is doing most of the work. One of the largest pain points is obtaining customers and delivering on the product or service. In order to remain alive, a new business must seek customers.

Stage 2: Survival

A business in this stage is now a more efficient working entity with some profit. The next step here is to ensure that profit remains. Therefore, again, businesses in this stage also need to seek customers as well as start looking at the return on investment (ROI).

In essence, merely staying open isn’t sufficient anymore. The businesses in survival stage must be establishing systems and processes to consistently ensure that ROI maintains and grows. 

Stage 3: Success

Once systems are established and profits are consistent, the small business is now successful. The choice becomes continue to grow or maintain the success created until this point.

Having systems in place is a vital difference between Survival and Success stages. At the success stage, the owner is no longer doing the bulk of the work. The reason for waning the owner from major tasks is for continued growth as well as the opportunity to sell. And, everyone deserves a vacation once in a while.

 

Stage 4: Take-Off (Growth)

In this stage, the small business now requires increase in capital in order to accommodate the higher volumes of customers. This means more staff, more equipment and materials and better processes. At this stage, a small business has the chance to be a big company. However, if mismanaged, the small business could fail as a result of poor cost management of expenses over revenue.

Stage 5: Resource Maturity

A small business reaches maturity once it is ready for diversification. The company is now big and runs at a slower pace. This does not mean that a mature company will be unable to react to market changes. Hence, the need for diversification and finding other, related products and markets to tap and to expand the existing customer base beyond the reaches of the original business model. This will keep the company in flux, as parts of the company will now be in varying stages of growth.

For a FREE Business Strategy Session you can go to elonaloparicoaching.com

This episode explains the effects of screens on kids and what is it that we can do to limit screen time as parents. The book mentioned in the episode is titled "Glow Kids" by Nicholas Kardaras, PHD.

To schedule a parenting coaching session visit elonaloparicoaching.com

It was a pleasure to interview Business Coach, Stephanie Lopez Gilmore on this podcast episode. If you need to further reach out to her website https://www.mammahustle.com

Her Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mammahustle/

Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/MammaHustle/

Free Ideal Client Workbook: https://mailchi.mp/3b23c3fe193d/idealclientworkbook

When was the last time that you felt fully rested or did not feel any anxiety over the things that you should be doing? Now imagine that could be your life everyday. Imagine what life would be like if you had time for your career, family and yourself all at the same. I have seen too many leaders sacrifice their health and relationships and get burned out all because they couldn't lead others while still prioritizing their self care.

 

Now a common myth is thatI know that we are told that as leaders we have to hustle and need to put in 80-100 work weeks to stay ahead in our companies and businesses in order to stay competitive. And that is ok for some time but that cannot be the norm as a long term strategy as we are not robots. We are human beings that need to take time out to rest, take care of our health and leave room and space for creativity and mind rest. This is what I call the hustle fallacy. This fallacy that we are all sold on from society causes psychical and relational pain. This is self neglect. Listen I get it, at my corporate career there were many times when from working close to 80 hour weeks I neglected and felt guilty over my marriage or spending time with my kids. At so many points in time, I started asking what was the point of me working so hard where I wasn’t enjoying my family or making any time for me. I was very irritable and impatient with my team, husband and kids. And that is no way to live.

On the outside it looked like I had it all figured out but on the inside I was hurting, tired and always feeling guilty that I should have spent more time with my family and kids. I was always in conflict with the fact that I was doing a lot but achieving little because I was not happy or fulfilled.

Your work gives you joy and financial provision, creativity but your family gives you happiness and health gives you a rested body and clear mind. We need all three and we shouldn't have to choose.

 

There was a study done and it measured that workers' risk for heart attack grows to 11-20%  on Mondays. High achievers are in high demand and are always given more on their plate so they struggle with saying no so they dip in their personal priorities for the sake of their work and getting ahead.

 

When we buy into the hustle fallacy, the first thing that goes on the wayside is self care because it is considered a luxury. It is not a luxury that is a basic human need. There is a reason that we are human beings and not human doings.

How many of you have skipped a workout, lacked sleep or carved in family time in the last month? I am sure that there are so many of you including me sometimes. 

I want to define Self care which describes the activities that make for a meaningful life outside of work while contributing to greater performance at work. It plays out in our daily habits like eating well, exercising, making time for reflection, hobbies and spending meaningful connected time with our loved ones. 

Also as leaders It seems that the higher the vision, the more you sacrifice self care. It should be  the opposite where the higher your vision the more you have to prioritize self care. 

I will recap with the three benefits to self-care.

 

Benefit # 1. Self care gives you more energy. I don’t know about you but I will take all the energy I can get personally and professionally. The biggest obstacle that I always hear leaders say  is I don't have time. Time is a fixed entity and we all get 24 hours a day and can't flex. Energy can flex. You can bring a sharper, more energetic you to bear all the time you get. Productivity is less about managing time and more about managing energy. Research shows we can only be productive at 50 hours a week. After that you are spinning your wheels in unproductivity. You are  a person that needs rest to be at your best. 

 

Benefit # 2 Self Care gives you the competitive edge. It's very competitive out there. Self-care fuels creativity. People that sleep 6 hours or less have less innovation and creativity. If you and your team needs a breakthrough consider that you might just need a break. Regular exercise increases self confidence, efficacy and on average 11-15% more earnings. The endorphins that you get from exercising give workers the belief that they can do almost anything and it increases their productivity at work.  

 

Benefit # 3 Self care Increases your endurance as well. Who do you want to be? Do you want temporary or long term success? We usually think we are the exception and nothing will happen to us since we might consider ourselves strong as a horse. But that’s not true.

Arianna Huffington after a series of 80 hours work weeks broke her cheekbone on her desk and fell on the floor in her office. That is what exhaustion does for you.

Next steps: 

1. Make a commitment to self care. If not now, when? 
2. Set hard boundaries around nights and weekends.
3. Get at least 8 hours of sleep every night. 

Lastly Lead by example: Leaders go first. Be the example that you want your team to see! 

You owe it to yourself!

 

I know this is a topic that a lot of my clients struggle with. Finding that sweet spot between building your business and having a life outside of that, not to mention free time for self care is an ongoing obstacle that all of us struggle with. When I started my business I remember being so involved and focused in all the areas of my business and wearing all the many hats as a solopreneur took a heavy toll on my mental health and close relationships. Not to mention the mom guilt that came with not giving my kids the needed one on one attention or much quality time and feeling burned out and losing sight of the bigger vision as to why was I doing this in the first place anyways. I have been there and I understand the struggle. 

 

I wish I could tell you that I have a clear cut solution to this problem and I could waive a magic wand and make the problem go away, but unfortunately that’s not the case. Building a business and having a life outside of that is a constant work in progress for all of us. However, I will share 5 ways as I try to keep the balance somewhat. 

 

1. Planning and prioritizing your week is not nice to have but a must have. What I do is I choose a day of the week, Monday morning for me where I do a brain dump exercise. I grab a pen and paper and I write down everything that my brain can think of that I have to do that day, week, month, year etc. I look through my calendar, notes, emails and I make sure that I jot down everything. Next, I get overwhelmed. Hahaha no I stare at the sheet of paper and I start prioritizing my list ABCDE. D stands for Delegate and E stands for eliminate and I give myself permission to Eliminate things on my list which I no longer think they’re important. Next, I go to schedule all this in my calendar. First thing I schedule on my calendar is my FREE time. 
2. Another thing I do is schedule my monthly getaways with myself, hubby or family. These are used to help me recharge and give myself white space to reflect.  
3.  Relationship with self when scheduling tasks is crucial to getting things done and your self esteem. When you build a habit of showing up for yourself every time you start building self respect and learn to build your confidence by always learning to rely on yourself to accomplish what you set out to do, This is how you build a belief that you do everything you always set your mind to and that’s powerful.
4. For those of you that are in a relationship or have kids, need to schedule time with your loved ones ahead of time and be intentional with that time. This is the time that you can be guilt free that you are present for the people in your life and when it's time to work, the guilt over not spending enough time with hubby and kids does not have to lurk around in your brain, For example, in my household we schedule Family dinners and nights on Wednesday nights and all day on Sundays…
5. Write your bigger visions on a visual board and look at them everyday if you can. Reminding everyday of your why, will keep your emotional juices flowing when challenges come up as they will and keep you connected and engaged in the bigger picture vision that you set for your life.

In order to know which talent to attract in their companies, leaders have to be very clear of their ultimate vision. Most leaders are visionary, however they can also take another person’s visions and make that their own if it compels to them. “Without a vision, people perish.” Toni Robbins. Knowing the “WHY” behind what they want to accomplish is more important than the “How”. Those reasons are the juice that propels leaders forward to accomplish their set out missions and lead their businesses and people.  To keep your employees engaged and fulfilled, your team always wants to know that their contribution in their roles matters and that they are always contributing to something bigger than themselves to a higher purpose and vision that you set out as a leader. This is where the leader’s vision comes into play. The clearer the leader’s vision is, the clearer the team will be as to how they are contributing to the company and how they are serving the customers and beyond and why their work matters.

We all know that hiring the best talent in your company is crucial to the success of your business. In order for operations to run smoothly, the company needs to fill their positions with the right talent that highly performs within their functions.

However, this task comes with its own set of challenges. First, having a good interviewing system in place is a must where the right questions are being asked to gaige the character and capability of the candidate. These are the top 4 questions to ask: 1. Can they do the job? 2. Will they do the job well in the long term? 3. Are they the right team fit? And lastly, “Do I want to spend a lot of time around them? These are crucial questions in ensuring that the right team member is coming on board since we all know how costly turnover is. So, bringing the right team member on board from the get go is very important in saving time, resources and money for your business.

Hey friends, Welcome back to another episode, one that is relevant in these times of need and when mental health is at its utmost important while we are all faced with tons of uncertainty in our lives as we know it. 

If you think life is a bed of roses, you will find that beneath the sweet smelling flowers lie numerous sharp thorns. This is a quote that always makes me think a little deeper of the true meaning of our lives and the purpose and how all the thorns are challenges that test our resilience and give us a chance to get stronger. Another one that naturally keeps coming to mind is “When life throws you lemons, make lemonade.”

Sometimes even the best one among us faces difficulties in managing himself. Maintaining our peace of mind, keeping ourselves motivated, utilizing our time productively and performing at our level best needs proper guidance. In such times, we look towards our family, friends, and well-wishers.

However, we don’t find desired results most of the time in spite of the intervention of our loved ones. It is because despite having the best intentions our near and dear ones don’t have the competence and expertise of a professional life coach.

Sometimes I hear from people, why do I need a life coach that’s what I have friends for. Also a friend will only be able to give you their perspective based on their own experiences, fears, limiting beliefs etc. 

Life coaches are trained professionals who are passionate about improving the lives of their clients and help them to achieve their goals and live up to their maximum potential. That is always the outcome of a good life coach!

Why You Should Hire A Life Coach

Here are the top seven benefits of seeking the assistance of a life coach:

#1. Gives You Clarity about Your Dreams and Aspirations

Seeking help from a life coach will give us the clarity to know our dreams, aspirations, and goals. A life coach can connect you to your heart’s longings and can help us find out what you most deepest desire. Seeking the help of a life coach can assist you in determining your priorities and necessities.

#2. Helps to Strike a Perfect Balance in Life

Clichéd as it may sound, but the balance is the key to a good life. We tend to get frustrated and stressed out if we don’t strike a right balance in our lives and this affects our well-being, productivity, peace of mind and health. These, in turn, inhibit us from achieving our goals and living up to our full potential. A life coach can help us in attaining a perfect balance in your lives.

#3. Taps into Your Full Potential

Seeking the help of a life coach can help people reach their full potential. The steps taken by the life coach will fill the person with motivation, enthusiasm, zest for life and positivity. When people are motivated to work towards achieving their goals, they always make extra efforts. One of my first seminars that I attended to learn how to tap into my potential is Tony Robbins’ Unleash The Power Within. In that seminar, I absolutely learned to access another inner level which I did not know was possible. Everyone has their own experience and the levels that they individually rise at. 

#4. Gives You Unbiased Input

If you seek the help of your closed ones and ask them to point out your shortcomings and limitations, they may not be able to tell you. In fact, they may hide your mistakes to save you from feeling miserable. However, a life coach will make no concessions on this and will point out the things that hold you back. This is because they work with so many people and are able to identify patterns of behavior or thinking that are universal. I always say that no matter how different we think we are are as human beings, we all have similar patterns that help keep us stuck or to not get the results that we are looking for. 

#5. Makes You More Responsible for Your Actions and Commitments

When you seek the help of a life coach or any other type of coach, you tend to be more accountable for your actions and commitments. They help you to become more disciplined, and they ensure that you own your actions and commitments and take them seriously. In other words, they give you accountability and support so that you can learn how to show up for yourself in this way, increasing your self respect.

#6. Helps You to Grow as a Person

To help you grow as a person, a life coach will make you undertake activities which are out of your comfort zone. You will be exposed to newer perspectives, experiences, and ideas when a life coach works with you. Moving beyond your comfort zone is the necessary and only way to get those different results that you are looking for. It's the only way that you will ever evolve as a human being into the fuller version of yourself. This is where happiness and meaning will start to show up and you will feel alive and wake up everyday with a new purpose. 

I hope that I was able to explain the results that life or any other coaches can do for you and also to give you a clearer understanding of why I believe that everyone needs a life coach. If you are looking to explore this further and see what results I can help you achieve, schedule a FREE Discovery Call to my website elonaloparicoaching.com.

Welcome back to another episode friends, Today we are going to be going in on two important concepts. The concept of deciding ahead of time and also how to cope with negative emotions and how to stop resisting them. 

Learning how to focus my brain on one thing at a time all the way through the end, has really taught me how to manage my mind and what my thoughts are. Instead of trying to think of everything that I have to do, I think of one thing at a time. We all have about 60,000 thoughts per day and it is hard to manage all those thoughts right? 

Two of the tools that you want to learn in order to manage your mind are focus and constraint. Your brain needs supervision as you have to tell it what you want it to do, and what you want it to focus on, the feelings you want those thoughts to create for you. When you don't manage your mind, the feeling you will feel most of the time is, overwhelm. What is overwhelm doing to you? It makes you Procrastinate, quit, change direction, and doubt yourself. Your brain is trained to constrain so it can become efficient. It knows where to focus on, based on your history. So direct it and constrain it as to where it should focus on so you can create different results in your life.

            I also want to shed some light into this concept called emotional childhood is when we blame events or people in our lives for how we feel, and leave ourselves completely disempowered and helpless. This leaves you in a dependent childhood state because you are dependent on the external world to change how you feel. I don’t know about you but I think that is exhausting and putting the key to your happiness in someone else’s pocket. You can give others the power and be a victim or you can own that you get to decide how you feel, and other people don’t have control over how you feel or don’t feel. When you take responsibility for how you feel and you know that the reason you feel the way you do is because of how you’re thinking, that truly can change your life and you can be empowered at a different level.

 

• Deciding ahead of time helps us we make better decisions when we plan on intention and when we honor those decisions and complete them. Your confidence and self-respect goes up significantly.

 

When we can think about our life ahead of time, we make much better decisions for ourselves- what we want to do, what we want to create, the decisions we want to make. It’s so much easier for me to decide right now what healthy things I’m going to eat tomorrow. How many times have you done that? You decide in the spur of the moment when you finally get tired of feeling a certain way: I’m going to eat a salad, I’m going to eat some really good protein. Then when you find yourself in that moment, you’re like “Okay, I’ll take that brownie or pizza.” Deciding ahead of time and honoring those decisions is the key. You prevent a lot of negative emotions and a lot of negative reactions by supervising yourself ahead of time and deciding ahead of time.

Next up I want to talk to you about this concept of how to cope with negative feelings and why we usually try to avoid them.

If you are anything like me, you’ve spent a lot of time avoiding and resisting negative feelings. The biggest reason for this is because they are uncomfortable and I didn’t want to feel anxious or fearful so I tried to resist these feelings. But what I resisted only persisted. So, I had to learn a better solution to end my suffering. I started realizing that we get access to changing our feelings by naming them, paying attention to them, and looking at them within our bodies--not reacting to them, but naming them. 

 

Feelings are nothing to be afraid of. We don’t need to resist, react, or avoid them. No one’s taught us this. No one’s taught us how to actually feel our feelings. We realize that feelings are not that big of a deal when we feel them all the way. 

 

A lot of the time, when we’re not feeling a positive emotion, we don’t understand why. Remember, it’s usually because of what we are thinking, so we feel this emptiness and want to feel better right away. But it’s not that easy. Joy comes from within us, from managing our minds whereas pleasure comes from outside of us. If you’re always relying on something external like a pill, cigarette, or food to change how you feel, you become less adept at changing how you feel from the inside while becoming more dependent on how you change it from the outside. 

Another powerful example is the situation of the Corona pandemic. Most of us are feeling anxious and isolated because of how we are thinking about the situation itself and the meaning we are giving the stories we are hearing or the news from the media. We need to be aware of the separation and space from our current reality and our thoughts about that reality. 

Stay safe my friends. I'll talk to you next week, were we will speak about the benefits of hiring a life coach!