What does it mean to really listen to another human being?

From the outside looking in, the act of listening does not look like much. But, in reality, a lot more is going on than most of us ever realize. Now and then, we all have experiences where simply listening to another person ends up leaving a lasting impact or helps them achieve a positive change. But what is really going on in these moments?

In this episode of The LifeWorks Podcast, Adam and Jai explore what happens when we go beyond our normal conversational listening habits and explore Deep Listening, a powerful technique for deepening our relationships with others and helping people achieve growth. The results may surprise you.

Special thanks to Jerry Jampolsky, founder of the Center for Attitudinal Healing, and to the late Carl Rogers for their pioneering work and their enduring efforts to teach others how to listen.

After the release of our first Attachment Theory podcast, many listeners wrote in to tell us how much they enjoyed our discussion and that they wanted to learn more, so we figured we’d follow it up with a Part 2!

One common question we received was, “How do I improve my ability to meet my own attachment needs?” This is indeed an important question. Our ability to meet our own attachment needs is essential to maintaining healthy relationships in our own lives and to helping meet the attachment needs of those around us, including our own children.

In addition to addressing these topics, we also run through a fascinating and illuminating Attachment Theory framework developed by developmental psychologist Dr. Gordon Neufeld. Without giving too much away, he proposes that there are six basic stages of attachment development, which correspond to the first six years of life. They are:

Physical Closeness

Sameness

Belonging

Significance

Giving One’s Heart Away

Being Known

It turns out that many of us have gotten stuck at one of these stages along the way. However, addressing those neglected needs in adulthood is possible and can be extremely effective in helping improve our relationships! 

Finally, we touch upon a powerful new intervention designed specifically for healing attachment wounds in adults. This technique was developed by Dr. Daniel Brown of Harvard University, which he outlines in his new book Attachment Disturbances in Adults: Treatment for Comprehensive Repair. 

We hope you all enjoy a return to one of our favorite and most vital topics! 

Adam & Jai

Attachment lies at the heart of the way we relate to nearly everything in the world. While a secure attachment base can help us to take appropriate risks and fully experience the world, an underdeveloped one can make much of life difficult, especially...

Attachment lies at the heart of the way we relate to nearly everything in the world. While a secure attachment base can help us to take appropriate risks and fully experience the world, an underdeveloped one can make much of life difficult, especially in our relationships.

So what exactly is attachment? How might we bolster our own attachment base to make ourselves happier and more secure, or help others to do so? And what the heck is the "Alpha"? These are some of the basic questions that we attempt to wade through in this short but ambitious first leap into understanding Attachment Theory.

Thanks everyone for listening and supporting our continued efforts to bring some deeper personal knowledge to the universe! If you're interested in hearing from us regularly, please subscribe to our podcast on iTunes, Stitcher, or your favorite podcast app. This is truly a labor of love for us and we are incredibly grateful for all of you.

Adam & Jai

Executive Functioning is interesting because it gets to the heart of what so many people struggle with in terms of doing what we set out to do. After all, knowing the facts necessary to complete a task often isn’t the hardest part. So why isn’t...

Executive Functioning is interesting because it gets to the heart of what so many people struggle with in terms of doing what we set out to do. After all, knowing the facts necessary to complete a task often isn’t the hardest part. So why isn’t knowing what to do enough?

Showing up, starting tasks, finishing tasks, regulating difficult emotions, and organizing effectively are challenges for everyone, except Elon Musk. Executive Functioning breaks these areas down into individual skills that, despite popular misconception, may be learned at will, even if you think you’re an old dog who can’t learn new tricks. No really, these skills can be learned! You just have to know what to do.

We really enjoyed making our first podcast and plan to make many more. Subscribe on your favorite podcast app or iTunes to get our future episodes!