We lost some of our best material because somebody hit record without actually recording, so naturally Batch 3 begins with coffee-induced bowel movements, a suspiciously sex-toy-shaped French press, naked podcast ASMR, and an argument over how the hell you spell “bougie.”
Welcome back to The Little Brown Pill, where the coffee got more expensive and the conversations somehow got less responsible.
Charles has upgraded from a $10 IKEA French press to a $40 contraption with double filters, paper filters, a third filter hiding in the pour spout, and enough printed safety instructions to suggest somebody absolutely tried putting this thing directly on a stove. This leads to the important realization that size does, in fact, matter—at least when your normal serving of coffee is roughly the volume of a small aquarium.
From there, things wander exactly where they shouldn’t.
We get smoked sugar from a barbecue festival, Wagyu jerky, why you can’t drink everybody’s coffee, growing up ridiculously sheltered in the South, teenage road trips before cell phones, church potlucks, sneaking forbidden movies, and Josh nearly turning a Nashville concert into Mortal Kombat after somebody messed with his son.
Then we get nerdy about music: Bilmuri, Jelly Roll, Taylor Swift, 90s country, grunge, hip-hop, Metallica with an orchestra, and why sometimes the song that matters isn’t the one offering an answer—it’s the one that reminds you that you actually want to get back up.
And somehow that turns into a surprisingly serious conversation about language, swearing, intent, race, comedy, the internet deciding what you’re allowed to joke about, and the exhausting process of learning to be yourself instead of letting an algorithm decide who that person should be.
Also discussed, against everyone’s better judgment:
- Coffee Marines leaving no cup behind
- Why LaCroix looks like 1990s discount-store sadness
- R2-D2 French press innuendo
- Sweet’N Low emergency medical equipment
- “Bless your heart” as Southern verbal warfare
- Why horror-movie characters are idiots
- Being 16 before cell phones was apparently a survival game
- Concert dads versus drunk assholes
- Finding couple friends being harder than starting a band
- The possibility of taking this nonsense on tour
Got a coffee confession, terrible opinion, childhood story, or something you desperately need us to argue about?
Send it: [email protected]
Find everything Little Brown Pill: linktr.ee/thelittlebrownpill
And if this episode made you laugh, think, or reconsider how aggressively you’ve been pressing your beans, share it with somebody who needs another cup. Don’t hoard the good stuff like the bastard who takes the last coffee and leaves half an ounce in the pot so they don’t have to make another one.
Your hosts occasionally pretend to have legitimate careers:
uploadsoffun.com
charlesmcfall.com
Coffee is like Viagra for the soul… results may vary, but we’re not responsible.
