Whatever your ideal first date is, it's wrong. Here's the ideal first date: we start off by looking at shiny rocks and "polished shapes," whatever those are. Then, we go to dinner. Nothing special about the dinner. Just A LOT of pulled pork. We finish off the night with a bluegrass concert that has not one, but two opening acts. Worried about all the driving? That's the best part! You can do ALL those things in and/or around Buena Vista, Colorado! So, what do you say? It's a date?

In this episode, we read from the following articles in The Chaffee County Times:
“Carin Mari and Coleman Smith join Nashville songwriter Cristina Vane at Ivy Ballroom” by Max R. Smith (Oct. 20, 2023)
“BV Strong Dinner celebrates 10 years” by Hannah Harn (Sep. 8, 2023; updated Sep. 13, 2023)
“Gem, mineral and fossil show rocks Buena Vista” by Andrea Newell (Aug. 20, 2023)

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Breaking news! We're back and better than ever! Get ready for Season 2 of The Littlest Headline, coming to podcast apps and local newspapers** near you on October 30th!

**Not really. You can't actually put a podcast into a newspaper. Trust us, we tried. Something about an "audio-only medium" being incompatible with a "piece of paper." Whatever.

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What are geese afraid of? What are you afraid of? Is it Uncle Sam? Is it geese? Are geese afraid of Uncle Sam? How do we get rid of these geese? They're everywhere! Me and my homies can't reside on the lake anymore cause of all these dang geese! Help! What's in it for you? How rude. What if I threw in a pancake breakfast? Okay. Deal. You'll need to come over to Andover, New Hampshire, though!

In this episode, we read from the following articles in The Andover Beacon:
“Fourth of July Committee Invites People to Enter a Float,” press release (May 20, 2023).
“Highland Lake Reflects Quiet Spring Morning” by Larry Chase (May 19, 2023).
“Andover’s Fourth of July Parade Needs an Uncle Sam!” press release (Mar. 21, 2023).
“Population of Canada Geese on Highland Lake Presents Problems” by Janet Eklund (Feb. 17, 2023).

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So, does anyone know how to say "slough" correctly? We might. But we're not sure. We just won't say it anymore. Here's some things we do know: if you're looking for a town with a) sick convenience stores that bring everyone together and just emit good vibes, b) an egg-based rating system to assess the goodness of your day (granted, we're technically the ones that made that up), and c) adorable feral cats, then you should come on over with us to Terry, Montana!

In this episode, we read from the following articles in the Terry Tribune:
“Feral Cats in Terry Prompt Prairie County Health Official to Publish Public Service Announcements Preventing Future Encounters” by Brendan Heidner, APG Montana, retrieved from https://www.terrytribune.com/ (May 19, 2023).
“Life on the Prairie: May 20 & 21, 1923” (May 16, 2023).
“Through Many Owners and Trials, 4 Corners Convenience Remains Staple Stop for Terry Locals and Travelers” by Brendan Heidner, APG Montana, retrieved from https://www.terrytribune.com/ (Apr. 26, 2023).

The following video helped us say “slough” correctly. Maybe. We’re still not sure:
“How to Say Slough” from Emma Saying, YouTube, https://youtu.be/eeZ-vTuv25Y (Sep. 16, 2017).

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SHHHHH! Be quiet. He's a light sleeper. The Barbecue Baby. He's napping right here. Don't make a sound or you'll wake him up. You don't wanna do that. Trust me. Go find some plastic eggs in a state park or something. And, if you're gonna smoke weed, not around the baby. And don't forget the 3% weed tax. And only if you legally can. And only if YOU want to. Peer pressure is always lurking around the corner. Just like the Barbecue Baby. Although that particular entity is only really endemic to Cameron, Missouri. Let's go there! We'll keep you safe! Probably.

In this episode, we read from the following articles in the Cameron Citizen-Observer:
“First 420 Celebration in Cameron Set for Thursday, Recently Passed Recreation Cannabis Tax Goes into Effect in October” (Apr. 20, 2023).
“Wallace State Park Has Record Attendance for Easter Egg Hunt” (Apr. 11, 2023).
“Aspiring Pit-Masters Get a PHD in BBQ Inside Elks Lodge” (Mar. 15, 2023).

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Here is a list of things that should be measured in quarts: soup (there is a lot of soup in this episode). Here is a list of things that should not be measured in quarts: meat (which there is also a lot of in this episode). Here is a list of things you should do with beach trash to bring more awareness to pollution: make clothes out of it, show off those clothes on the runway, win second place in a trash-based fashion show. Here is a list of things you should do right now: listen to this episode, and join us in Molokai!

In this episode, we read from the following articles in The Molokai Dispatch:
“Molokai Youth Wins 2nd in Recycled Fashion Show” by Catherine Cluett Pactol (Apr. 19, 2023).
“Soup ‘R Bowl Saturday” by Jack Kiyonaga (Mar. 15th, 2023).
“Deer Meat Giveaway” by Sage Yamashita (Dec. 21, 2022).

Also, thank you to the brave souls who contributed to that answers.com question (which is, curiously, listed under the "Physics" category).

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Have YOU marked your calendar for Mom Prom?  No? Why? Ah, I see. You're too busy preparing for the Cowboy Day cornhole tournament. What? You're not going to that either? What's wrong with you? Oh, yes. Of course. Too busy on your quest to find The Perfect Chicken. Well, I've got some bad news. It's already been found by a team of restauranteurs who are going to build a chicken joint on the road. Yeah. Like, right on the highway. I know, it sounds crazy, but they're gonna do it. Just you wait. I'm telling you, they're gonna revolutionize chicken, those mother-cluckers. And we'll be here to see it all unfold. Assuming, of course, you're with us in Blackshear, Georgia!

In this episode, we read from the following articles in The Blackshear Times:
“Southern Roost Has Ground-Breaking” (Mar. 10, 2023).
“Cowboy Day This Weekend” (Feb. 22, 2023).
“2023 Bethesda Mom Prom Planned” by Nickie Carter (Dec. 1, 2022).

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Alright, we read the Humboldt Chronicle, and here's the working theory: the state of Tennessee is populated entirely by children. Conceptually, that is. Some of its denizens still look, act, and age like adults. But, like, they're kids. On a spiritual level. Metaphysically speaking. We wouldn't expect you to get it. We don't really get it, if we're being honest. Also in this episode: a terrible icy disaster that almost happened, and whether or not one must have live sheep to have a good nativity scene. Find out exactly what we're talking about as we explore Humboldt, Tennessee!

In this episode, we read from the following articles in the Humboldt Chronicle:
“Ice Storm Threat Bypasses Humboldt” by Ariel McRae and Danny Wade (Feb. 7, 2023).
“Christmas on Main a Hit With Kids of All Ages” by Danny Wade (Dec. 6, 2022).
“Kids of All Ages Enjoy Fall Fest” by Ariel McRae and Danny Wade (Sept. 27, 2022).

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How much sweat do you need to kill a tansy ragwort? Do physical comedy and golf mix well together onstage (of course they do)? What's the most effective way to recreate the sound of a door slamming? Without, of course, actually slamming a door. We couldn't do that. Here, on live radio? Don't be ridiculous. You silly goose. Come with us, silly goose, as we find the answers to these questions in the Villages of Mount Hood, Oregon.

In this episode, we read from the following articles in The Mountain Times:
“Golfing is a Farce at the Sandy Actors Theatre” by Garth Guibord (Feb. 1, 2023).
“NNB's 'Evening of Radio' fundraiser” by Garth Guibord (Jan. 1, 2023).
“Residents Urged to Help Fight the Tansy Ragwort Invasion” by Lisa Kilders (Aug. 8, 2022).
Also, thank you to mthood.info for inspiring Toby's latest creation, Mountain Maybes.

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Isn't every baseball game basically just a Civil War reenactment with wooden bats? Have you got what it takes to be the next world-renowned child? Do you want a "free" "roof" for your "building" (which, when you think about it, is essentially just a huge basket)? Yeah, that was a loaded question. A lot to take in. You need a vacation. So come with us to Dresden, Ohio!

In this episode, we read from the following articles in the Dresden Buzz:
“Dresden State Of The Village” (Jan. 30, 2023).
“Ohio Village Muffins Win 1860s Base Ball Game At Historic Prospect Place” (Oct. 7, 2022).
“Children’s Book Author Visits Frazeysburg Elementary School” by Katelyn Dolson (Mar. 11, 2022).
“Historic Prospect Place Took Us Back In Time To 1860 With Annual Base Ball Game” (Oct. 22, 2021).

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For comments or suggestions, email us at [email protected].