In this episode, Crystal gets distracted from the investigation to nerd out about a dead Italian neuroscientist whose name she cannot pronounce, explains why your brain is basically running malware that makes you afraid of the one thing that could help you, overshares about her butthole, makes a case for why the craziest sounding people in this community deserve a microphone just as much as the credible ones, references Jesus and Allen Dulles in the same train of thought then cuts it not because it sounds too crazy but because she ran out of tape, same reason she butchers a famous Arthur C. Clarke quote ya’ll will never hear, plays distracting background piano because low production quality is a tradition on MM, and then has the F-ing audacity to ask you to reach out when she already admitted she won’t respond for weeks. Also something about worms and the return of Christ. Standard Tuesday. If that is what day this really is.

If you’re lonely and this is hard and everyone thinks you’re nuts: moremorgellons.com. Go leave a message. She’ll get back to you. Eventually. Probably. Also, lovingly but getting almost a little annoyed at this point: Put the tweezers down.