177: The Loss of a Postpartum Mother and Wife

No one will escape this life without feeling the pain of loss, and there is no better way to channel that pain than through creating something beautiful out of it. In today’s show, you’ll meet a devoted husband and father who wasn’t content to wallow in his loss on the sidelines. He’s turned his pain into purpose as he helps countless families through the challenges of maternal mental health treatment.

Steven D’Achille is president and founder of The Alexis Joy D’Achille Foundation for Postpartum Depression. He’s an advocate for maternal mental health issues because he realizes that women’s health is a family health issue. His passion is creating access to care for struggling families. He’ll go deep into his story today, sharing how postpartum depression took the life of his wife, Alexis. I’ve had the pleasure of serving on the board of Postpartum Support International with Steven, and I’ve seen up close his passion and dedication springing from the horrible and unnecessary outcome of his wife’s death. He is changing the landscape in Pittsburgh and wherever he goes to share his wife’s story and the foundation in her name. Steven is a passionate advocate for fathers, in addition to his support of maternal mental health because he realizes the need for caring for the whole family, especially fathers and partners. As his six-year-old daughter, Adriana puts it, “He wanted to change the world.”

**Sensitivity Notice: Difficult topics are discussed in this episode related to suicide. If you aren’t in a place to listen today, feel free to find the episode at a later date.

Show Highlights:

Get to know Steven and his story that began with the traumatic birth of his daughter, Adriana

How Steven’s wife, Alexis, believed that her first act of motherhood was to damage her child

How things started unraveling almost immediately for Alexis, who knew she needed help

How Alexis experienced serious anxiety and saw an LCSW for coping mechanisms, receiving a PTSD diagnosis

The increased anxiety, shame and stigma, and scary options

More symptoms included depression, insomnia, and loss of appetite

The disconnect between psychiatric care and Ob care for mothers

How HIPAA rules prevented the pediatrician from notifying anyone of her concerns about Alexis

How Alexis was prescribed an antidepressant and the depression escalated to suicidal thoughts; her plea for help went unacknowledged

How Alexis begged to be admitted for weeks and then hung herself in their basement--just 14 days after beginning the new antidepressant

How the system failed Alexis

How Alexis survived to get to the hospital and make it to ICU

How Steven got clarity on how to move forward and make something good come out of Alexis’ tragedy, to get other moms the help Alexis could not get

How The Alexis Joy D’Achille Foundation’s hospital treated 3000 moms in 2019

The family services provided by the foundation

The importance of a father’s perspective in going through this journey and raising a 6-½-year-old daughter without her mom

How our laws protect puppies more than we do moms and babies

The reality of postpartum depression treatment in the US---and what needs to change

The power in telling your story

What the new standard of care should be

Resources:

Alexis Joy Foundation

Facebook: Alexis Joy D’Achille Foundation for Postpartum Depression: @Alexisjoydachille

Instagram: @ajd_foundation

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