In this emotionally charged and deeply revealing part two of our Magical Journey overview, we dive headfirst into the portals that cracked us open in 2022. This was the year we chose to say a full-bodied “yes” to life—what we call living the full fuck yes—and everything began to shift. From Britton leaving his career, to psychedelic initiations, to reimagining the nature of marriage, this episode lays bare what it really took to transform our union.
We talk about what happened after our first MDMA ceremony helped us decide to stay together. From there, we launched into a wild ride of surrender and expansion. Britton shares the moment he realized, “I wasn’t choosing into living my life,” and how that insight changed everything. We began to write a “yes” list—travel, yoga teacher training, healing, sacred sex—and magic followed.
We open up about the challenge and power of sexual re-education, the emotional aftermath of infidelity, and our decision to burn our original Mormon marriage certificate. The energy of 2022 asked us to tear down the constructs we’d inherited and rebuild something sovereign, honest, and spiritually aligned.
Carolee shares the haunting fear that kept her from fully opening: “If I do this, I will lose my soul.” But in choosing to move through fear instead of around it, she found her true embodiment and sovereignty. “It is through your fears that you get what you want,” became the mantra that moved her from trauma into liberation.
From our first shared mushroom initiations to our first conscious threesome, we navigated the fires of jealousy, shame, and unprocessed grief. Through it all, we discovered that honoring personal truth—no matter how terrifying—is what paves the road to real freedom and sacred union.
Other things we talked about:
The energetic crash after leaving corporate workBitcoin, Ethereum, and financial risk in transitionOur first intentional “yes” list and visioning exerciseParenthood, nursing, and making space for the feminine pathMoon magic and our spiritual anchoring practicesCE5, extraterrestrial contact, and consciousnessShadow work and trauma responses in non-monogamyThe myth of King Arthur and the crone’s riddle: “What do women want most?”Red thread initiation and feminine spiritual leadershipReclaiming sovereignty and the roots of the divine feminine[00:00] Recap of part one and intention for part two
[03:02] Britton quits his job and enters a deep depression
[07:45] Decision to live the full “fuck yes” and what that meant
[10:25] Carolee responds to the financial and emotional leap
[14:05] Creating the “yes” list and calling in experiences
[16:00] Sexual re-education and undoing Mormon programming
[21:00] Mushroom initiation and energetic reboot
[23:47] Choosing to sell everything after synchronicities flood in
[27:14] Realization that trauma must clear to receive the next level
[31:05] Friends predict we won’t return from Bali
[32:27] Bali plans fall through—spiritual bypassing exposed
[36:38] Carolee’s fear of soul loss through sexual expansion
[41:30] Britton’s desire to awaken embodiment meets resistance
[44:36] Jillian’s message: “It is through your fears that you get what you want”
[53:35] Experiencing the trauma from the other side—Britton dissociates
[1:05:46] MDMA ceremony leads to deep truth: “We were never all in”
[1:13:27] Planning a new marriage ceremony under the blood moon
[1:15:11] Carolee’s red thread journey and sacred feminine book club
[1:18:19] Myth of sovereignty and the riddle of what women want most