Thank god

It's like a storm is passed

I gotta keep it up

I would never touch another man

If I could front the cost

All on my own

No wonder ma and pa

Gotta open up shops

It's a long long long way up huh

Took a long long long long walk in the park

2 boroughs I crossed

Just to be remarkable

Ok! I got Dillon Francis.

That's a pigeon.

Well, yeah—he's a pigeon.

Wow! He's a pigeon!

Yeah!

Pigeons are fast! How'd you catch him?

Well, he's a New York pigeon, so he's fat.

Wow.

We gotta change him back!

Ah, we should keep him like that.

I half heartedly agree.

SHAWN EVANS has two strikes in a game where you don't need three.

wtf does that mean.

I don't know about this

Sorry, boss

Okay, you ready?

Yh.

Now you're supacree

Ugh WTF. What for!

A GIANT DISCO BALL

I'm way in over my head now, I think

If I fall all out of love

Then that might be a bad thing

For both of us, I think

But I think too much

And I should be drinking,

But I just washed up on shore

With the rest of us, huh

I'm way in over my head

Like waves over my head

Or gravy on bread and potatoes

—how I miss the others, but

If I fall all out of love now

That could be bad for the rest of us,

All of us, aren't I

Or was once

Was once

It's all by design

The decider resigned at the diner—

But maybe this time we can find her

Dying to write

She's still colorblind

A reminder of all of the limelight

She finds in the mind,

She decided defined her

Lil biiiitzzz.

Alrigtt huh, so fuck Queens.

I had to get out of Queens, you know?

I tried every gym in queens and you know what?

I hated it.

Every fucking gym.

It was gross.

Not as gross as the Bronx—

But it was Bronx-remnicent.

So I'm like, alright, fuck this. I'm gonna save up and go back to MY gym.

MY gym is in Manhattan.

Yeah bud. *rubs fingers together*

I love it.

It's fucking clean.

It smells good.

It has everything—

—Except the rotary torso machine.

But that's okay!

Fair trade.

It's all good.

That's MY gym.

In Manhattan. Yeah.

But I was stuck in Queens for so long, you know what—

I hadn't even been to Manhattan.

I forgot one thing about working out in Manhattan that I didn't have to worry about in Queens.

White dudes everywhere.

Yeah.

Never in Queens.

I totally forgot.

In queens I'm like Man of Steel;

I walk into a gym, all I see is family—

Eyes up here, Daquan.

What up, Matumbo.

Nice Locs, Troy

I go to the gym in Queens, I'm calm.

I go to the gym in Queens, I see non potential mates.

I am STONE.

I walk into a gym in Manhattan?

UGH.

My body's like

“What's that smell?”

My uterus is like

“LOOK OVER THERE.”

I'm like “huh?!l”

Nothing but hot white dudes every damn where—

“Ugh, fuck this”

So what I do, to combat this, is I just find the first hot girl I see—

It's not hard. It's Manhattan.

I'm an androgynous ape-like person— every actual female that exists is in some way somewhat more desirable than I am by far—

—out in public, anyway.

“The socially acceptable prototype”

Meanwhile,! behind closed doors I can take anyone of these motherfuckers home—

—their home—not to queens—

Which also isn't my home—

—or anyone's really—

—but let's just say I've stayed there—

—I've gone to the gym there—

—what up JerOde

—T-Jiggles.

—I've kept my stuff in Queens.

But the publicly—socially acceptable “girlfriend” archetype does not live in Queens.

Nobody “lives in queens”

No. So what I do is I direct all of my sexual anxiety, my lady blue balls—all my deep seated envy for not being that girl —at that girl, as a reminder that she exists and I'm not what they're looking for.

And being honest, I know deep down in my lady blue balls that none of them are really what I'm looking for, either.

No—and though almost all of them are perfect in every single way imaginable—

Especially for my vagina.

I know none of them are my man.

Yeah.

You know why?

My MAN has a home gym, morherfuckers.

Yeah.

Got that bowflex .

Got that peloton. All of it.

And you know what?

He's not even in it!

NO!

He's traveling the whole wide world right now—

Looking for ME.

—(I'm in Manhattan)

MAAAAANhattan.

Yeah.

Dudes on the east coast are hot as fuck.

Like next level attractive.

Chiseled.

Delicious.

California has ridiculously remarkable women.

California's the only actual place I've ever seen whole ass people look like a brand new actual Barbie doll out of the box.

WHAT?! GO AWAY.

I'm not getting NO DICK cause of YOU.

But the dudes here?

Yo!

*slurps*

You are wasting time!

I'm not wasting time.

I'm getting Trim.

How trim are you trying to get?

Ya! You look fine!

Like Fran-Fine-Fine—

What's that mean

It's the 90's, I think.

Or Jennifer Anniston.

Like Jennifer Anniston!

Yeah, on friends.

Speak of the Devil.

How does she DO that?

I do everything.

SATAN has merged with JENNIFER ANNISTON, as SUPACREE continues to keep accidentally summoning THE DEVIL without first understanding how—

But the charges from THE SACRED STONES against the magical charge of her amulet has created a chronically gaping time home in which various entities (and the bampheramphs) are using to travel quickly in between timelines.

{Enter The Multiverse}

[The Festival Project.™]

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-U.