In this epiksode of The Mariah Effect, I invited my mom Darsana to join me for what turned out to be one of the most honest conversations we've ever had.
 
This wasn't an easy episode to record. We probably said things we've never said out loud before. But I think that's what grief does, it makes you raw and real in ways you didn't expect.
 
If you've lost a parent, if Father's Day felt heavy this year, if you're watching someone you love navigate that loss, or if you're just trying to understand what it means to keep loving someone who's not here anymore, this one's for you. My mom and I figured some things out together, and maybe our messy, imperfect conversation will help you figure some things out too.
 
Please be gentle with yourself if this brings up difficult feelings. I've included some grief support resources below.

Grief Support Resources:

• What's Your Grief - WhatIsYourGrief.com (articles, podcasts, and community support)
• GriefShare - GriefShare.org (find local support groups)
• The Dinner Party - TheDinnerParty.org (grief support for 20s and 30s)
• Crisis Text Line - Text HOME to 741741 (24/7 crisis support)

• • Modern Loss - ModernLoss.com (stories and resources for navigating grief)

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In this episode of The Mariah Effect, I'm joined by my best friend Malory for a deeply personal conversation about love, identity, and the beautiful complexity of human connection.
 
For Pride Month, I wanted to create space for the kind of raw, honest dialogue that this community deserves: one that goes beyond surface-level celebration to explore what it actually means to show up authentically in a world that doesn't always make room for who we are.
 
Mallory opens up about her journey with asexuality, sharing what it's like to navigate a society that often equates love with romance and connection with physical intimacy. Her perspective challenged me to think differently about the ways we experience and express love, and how those expressions are all equally valid and profound.
 
We talk about the courage it takes to claim your identity, the exhaustion of constantly having to explain yourself, and the freedom that comes when you finally stop apologizing for who you are.
This conversation reminded me that Pride isn't just about celebration; it's about visibility, understanding, and the radical act of loving ourselves and each other exactly as we are. If you've ever felt like you didn't quite fit into the boxes the world created for you, or if you're still figuring out what love and connection mean for you, this episode is for you.
 
I hope this conversation gives you permission to embrace your truth and the courage to love yourself and others without limits.

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-mariah-effect--5832015/support.

In this episode of The Mariah Effect, I’m sharing a really personal look at my mental health journey and what it looked like to show up for others while quietly struggling myself. Over the years, I have worked in a lot of different mental health settings, from crisis centers to sober living homes. Each role taught me something different about empathy, boundaries, and the weight of carrying other people's pain. 

But the truth is, I was not always taking care of myself in the process. I found myself giving advice I was not following, offering tools I had not fully embraced, and pushing through while silently unraveling.

In this episode, I reflect on what it took to finally start prioritizing my own healing. I talk about the importance of therapy, how hard but necessary it is to ask for help, and how self care became a lifeline rather than a luxury to me. If you have ever felt overwhelmed, exhausted, or like you had to be the strong one to support everyone else (even when you’re struggling yourself), this episode is for you.

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-mariah-effect--5832015/support.

In this episode of The Mariah Effect, I’m opening up about some of the big changes happening in my life like moving through grief, encouraging growth in myself, and reshaping the direction of this podcast. I’ve been learning to put my own needs first and make decisions based on what I want (not what others expect).
 
I also touch on what I’m most excited about as I step into this new season (including bringing video into the mix!). I hope this episode of The Mariah Effect inspires you and reminds you that growth is always worth it.

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-mariah-effect--5832015/support.

Grief doesn’t just show up after someone is gone—it begins in the waiting, in the witnessing, and in the quiet moments in between. In this deeply personal episode, I share the story of my grief as I walk alongside the final days of Roland Merrill, a man who was not my biological father, but who loved me and showed up for me like a dad.
I talk about what it means to grieve while someone is still here, how hospice changes time, and what it feels like to navigate love, loss, and family dynamics that make grief even more complex. I open up about the struggle of showing up for others while managing my own health and full-time life, and how this moment echoes the grief I felt after losing my grandpa in 2021—but with an intensity and surrealness all its own.
This episode is an offering—for anyone grieving, for anyone who’s ever felt alone in that grief, and for anyone learning to care for themselves in the midst of it.

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-mariah-effect--5832015/support.

After surgery left me with way too much downtime, I turned to my favorite coping mechanism—watching an unreasonable amount of TV. In this episode, I’m diving into the absolute chaos of my recent watchlist, from nostalgic teen dramas to crime shows I never thought I’d be into, and of course, my many thoughts on Squid Game Season 2.I break down my reactions to The O.C. (why did I ever think Seth Cohen was the dream guy?), my surprising new appreciation for Law & Order: SVU, and my frustration with Squid Game's latest cliffhanger. If you love overanalyzing TV as much as I do, or just need some new recommendations, this episode is for you.Listen now and let’s talk TV.

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-mariah-effect--5832015/support.

After a long break, The Mariah Effect is back! In this episode, I open up about why I stepped away, what made it hard to come back, and why now feels like the perfect time to return. From struggling with technical issues and self-doubt to managing my health while working part-time, it’s been a lot. But after another transplant and a new diagnosis of partial remission (!!), I’m stronger, working full-time again, and ready to make this podcast sustainable in a whole new way.

I’m sharing what’s been going on behind the scenes, how I’m structuring things differently this time, and what you can expect from Season 3. If you’ve been here since the beginning—thank you for sticking with me. If you’re new—welcome! I can’t wait for what’s ahead.

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-mariah-effect--5832015/support.

Join Mariah and her brother Lucas for part two of their engaging conversation in this episode of The Mariah Effect. In this installment, they dive into their shared love for music, discussing artists like Labyrinth and Finneas. Mariah talks about her need to connect emotionally to music to enjoy it, while Lucas shares his different perspective and why he doesn't connect with musicals.They also reflect on their fun but lopsided experiences playing video games together, including a memorable camping trip where Lucas's superior gaming skills became evident. Despite Lucas's teasing, he admits he can't think of any negative attributes of Mariah. They touch on their relationship with their sister Malory, who, as Mariah's best friend, would do anything for her, even excuse murder.To cap off the episode, Mariah and Lucas play a game called Wavelength to really show how much they think alike and how well they understand each other.

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-mariah-effect--5832015/support.

Tune in with Mariah and her brother Lucas in the first of a special two-part episode on *The Mariah Effect* as they explore the rhythm of their sibling relationship and the transformative power of music. Despite being seven years apart and Lucas being a twin—a phenomenon that gives Mariah a serious ick—they’ve grown remarkably close over the past few years. 
In this fun and candid conversation, they delve into their unique bond, highlighting their shared interests and the differences that make their relationship dynamic. Central to their discussion is the pivotal role that music has played in both their lives, serving as a bridge that connects them and a soundtrack to their individual journeys. Tune in to part one of this series to uncover the melodies of their past and the harmonies they create together.



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Join Mariah in this heartfelt episode of The Mariah Effect as she finally shares the story about her beloved little brother, Patrick. After 4.5 attempts to get it just right, Mariah dives into their unique sibling bond, exploring her role in his life and the deep love she holds for him. She touches on the concept of "sonder" and reflects on the bittersweet reality of siblings growing up and forging their own independent paths. Tune in to hear Mariah's emotional journey and her hopes for their future relationship.

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-mariah-effect--5832015/support.