The Marriage Fit Podcast

Hosts Alan and Susan have been gone from the show for a little over a year. They never intended for it to be that long. Today's show helps explain where they have been and what's been happening?

Today's show starts with the topic of the passing of Susan's father. Ken Ulrich spent the summer of 2021 with them, which was the last time they recorded. It's been a whirlwind of emotions and activities. Susan, as you'll hear, just wasn't able to bring herself to talk about it or record new episodes. However, after completing over 80 miles on the Appalachian Trail and being able to spread some of her parents ashes on the date of her father's birthday, she was ready to get back to recording.

After going through the death of Susan's dad and the emotions that went along with it, Alan and Susan recap the relationship with "The Boy." They now can call him their future son-in-law! On top of that, their oldest daughter is also engaged to be married. The whirlwind continues, but on a much more positive note. Christmas is approaching, so Alan and Susan recount their last Christmas and some of the activities they did Christmas Eve.

They wrap up the show recapping their summer nostalgic beach vacation with their girls. The two older brought their significant others, while the youngest brought three friends. Alan and Susan discuss about how nice it is to have true friendships with their adult children. They count their blessings, knowing their kids like to spend time with them. Alan and Susan both admit what a special feeling it is to be able to stay so close with their children even after they are starting their own lives.

If you enjoy the show, please take a moment to like us on Facebook and follow us on Instagram and Twitter. You can also learn more about us and the show by visiting our website. Finally, take a moment to rate, review and share. Thank you so much for listening.

In this episode, hosts Alan and Susan give some advice to our younger selves. The old saying is youth is wasted on the young. By the time you've lived long enough to figure things out, your energy is faded. But, Alan and Susan have learned, you can always make changes in your life, no matter how far along you are. Many times it's fear or worry that prevents us from succeeding or trying new things. Sometimes it's regret or a sense of not measuring up to where you think you should be in life. We seem to be wired for negativity and to harbor emotional baggage. So, looking back at their lives and some of the lessons they've learned, Alan and Susan share their advice to the younger version of themselves.

If you enjoy the show, please take a moment to like us on Facebook and follow us on Instagram and Twitter. You can also learn more about us and the show by visiting our website. Finally, take a moment to rate, review and share. Thank you so much for listening. 

In this episode, hosts Alan and Susan wanted to take an introspective look at themselves as they approach the mid-point of the season. Before they get into that, they first take a moment to explain their hit-or-miss absence with the show in the last few weeks. They have really been enjoying time with Susan's dad, but also concerned about getting him on the mend. They know time can rush by, and they want to take advantage of the time they have.

As they move into the topic of the episode, Alan opens with a series of questions for each of them to answer. Both Susan and Alan suggest you invite your significant other to listen and participate. You can literally play along as the two of them go through 10 introspective questions. In the end, Alan and Susan both know there is always more to learn about each other.

As they wind down, Susan reminds the audience that our bodies need to be maintained so they can last as long as possible Much like a car, you can get more years of reliable driving when you take care of it. We only get one life to live, so we need to make the most of every moment.

If you enjoy the show, please take a moment to like us on Facebook and follow us on Instagram and Twitter. You can also learn more about us and the show by visiting our website. Finally, take a moment to rate, review and share. Thank you so much for listening. 

In this episode, hosts Alan and Susan discuss making memories, focusing a lot on making those memories with your kids. We were on the road and recording on a cell phone, so the quality of the episode is lower than usualy, but hopefully it will not be a distraction. At the open, Alan and Susan discuss taking a weekend trip and how those jaunts are part of their own memory making. This led to the discussion of Susan's recent birthday dinner with the rest of the family. While enjoying the celebration, discussion arose over beach vacations. The girls remember the summer trips to St. Augustine fondly.

It has been many years since they took a vacation together. Suddenly, with all the good emotions coming from storytelling, the idea came up to try to do return trip to St. Augustine next summer. This discussion leads to some side trails dealing with child-rearing and some challenges their daughters gave them. Also, both Alan and Susan recognize the need for parental boundaries with children. It's great to give them freedom to express themselves, but there needs to be a clear line between parent and child. A parent's job is not to be their child's friend. Rather, once the child reaches adutlhood, that's the appropriate time to soften the parental role in favor for a more friend-like one. By the end, both Alan and Susan recognize we all make mistakes with child rearing. But, the important take-away is to learn from your mistakes and not be afraid to ask for help/advice from professionals if you are overwhelmed.

If you enjoy the show, please take a moment to like us on Facebook and follow us on Instagram and Twitter. You can also learn more about us and the show by visiting our website. Finally, take a moment to rate, review and share. Thank you so much for listening. 

In this episode, hosts Alan and Susan refer to this episode as sharing a word about exes and how they can affect the peace and stability of your new marriage. Each of them takes a moment to look back at how life after re-marriage was affected by the presence of their respective exes. Alan reminds the audience about the book, Love Your Children More Than You Hate Your Ex, by previous guest, Dr. Larry Waldman. That title is the best piece of advice for the new marriage. It's a lot harder in practice, but it must be the goal.

Alan spends time recounting the custody fight in court and the unsettling aspects that occured. Susan then opened up and shared about her separation and divorce. Both exes presented significant challenges to them and they had to work through those issues by putting their kids first. Ultimately, through the passage of time, kids grow up and begin to have their own lives. The irony of being custodial parents is even though the kids live with you more, you will not necessarily see them more. As the episode wraps up, Alan and Susan both encourage listeners who might be about to embark on the same journey to have serious discussions about it. The second marriage is bound to have much more baggage than the first. Don't go into it blindly.

If you enjoy the show, please take a moment to like us on Facebook and follow us on Instagram and Twitter. You can also learn more about us and the show by visiting our website. Finally, take a moment to rate, review and share. Thank you so much for listening. 

In this episode, hosts Alan and Susan come to terms with the realization that sometimes life gets in the way. Over the past two months, many of their weekly routines have been interrupted. Everyone has a different threshold for feeling overwhelmed. Susan admits her nature requires order around her and when things turn chaotic, it can have an immediate affect on her. Alan admits that while he can roll with changes more easily, it can eventually lead to a point of total overload.

The two decided to have a discussion prior to recording the episode, leading to the idea of having a regularly scheduled meeting time to discuss life. It's important to note having a plan does not mean the plan will always come to fruition. However, it does not mean giving up or ignoring barriers. Making a conscious effort to address the changes and deal with unplanned events will help to lessen their overall impact. Everything that happens in life is a stressor. Some are good, while others bad. Each person has their own threshold before those stressors begin to create fear, anxiety, panic, depression or even anger.

Alan and Susan hope, by talking about these stressors in a calm and constructive way, they can avoid their more deleterious effects down the road. Finally, recognizing that sometimes life gets in the way, they both have pledged to get back to routine workouts and meal planning to help re-center their focus and get back on the path toward making things fit rather than throwing a fit.

If you enjoy the show, please take a moment to like us on Facebook and follow us on Instagram and Twitter. You can also learn more about us and the show by visiting our website. Finally, take a moment to rate, review and share. Thank you so much for listening. 

In this episode, hosts Alan and Susan are joined by counselor, Dr. Larry Waldman, who works with families, blended families and children. Being in a blended family themselves, a lot of the discussion Alan and Susan bring up focuses on Dr. Waldman's work with counseling divorced people who are getting into a new relationship. The discussion moves through finances, parenting and determining how much to involve your children. Dr. Waldman illustrates his points by recalling various clients he has helped over the years.

The first half of the discussion does focus more on negative issues surrounding second marriages and the blending of families. To shift direction, Alan uses the second half of the interview to push the discussion toward positive suggestions Dr. Waldman can give to listeners. All three share stories about how children are a lot brighter than many believe, especially how intuitive they are. At the end of the episode, Dr. Waldman shares the titles of his books and his website, which has a lot of solid information available. You can also purchase his books from his website. 

If you enjoy the show, please take a moment to like us on Facebook and follow us on Instagram and Twitter. You can also learn more about us and the show by visiting our website. Finally, take a moment to rate, review and share. Thank you so much for listening.

In this episode, hosts Alan and Susan are joined by licensed family therapist, sex therapist and clinical psychologist, Dr. Viviana Coles. Before bringing Dr. Coles' into the conversation, Susan describes her return from a salt room. She has been suffering from significant sinus pressure and knew the salt room could help. After describing the room and the session, it's time to talk about sexual intimacy.

Dr. Viviana Coles can be seen on Lifetime's hit reality TV show, Married At First Sight and it's sequel, where she shares her proven methods of repairing broken intimacy bonds and rekindling sexual intimacy in long-term committed relationships. As a doctor of marriage and family therapy, a licensed marriage and family therapist, a certified sex therapist and president of the National Sex Therapy Institute. Her insights have been featured on Newsweek, iHeart Radio, Access Hollywood and E! News.

We start with how Viviana decided on a career in therapy. Her schooling led to a focus on sex therapy and she continued to expand her education. She loves to find ways to rekindle intimacy and strengthen that element of long-term relationships. Alan and Susan discuss her reality show first and that leads to a discussion of how easy it is for couples to lose their spark. Much of the discussion centers around taking an active role in strengthening intimacy.

Her latest book deals with how to create a well-rounded view of intimacy. She calls it, "The 4 Intimacy Styles." In her view, a healthy intimate lifestyle will have a balance among all four of the intimacy styles. You can take a short self-assessment quiz on her website to help determine where you are today and then learn how to boost areas that might be lacking.

As the interview winds down, Alan and Susan both thank Dr. Viviana Coles for her time and ask her to promote her book, her website and her social media. Her practice in Houston does engage in remote sessions. So, if you are in need of someone with her focus to help you in your own relationship, please reach out to her. She takes questions and tries to host a monthly video session on her YouTube channel where she tries to answer as many questions as she can. She really wants to help couples rekindle that spark and keep it growing for the rest of their lives.

You can order The 4 Intimacy Styles online from her website. You can take the quiz there as well. And, you can find her on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and YouTube.

Rate, Review, Share and Follow!

If you enjoy the show, please take a moment to like us on Facebook and follow us on Instagram and Twitter. You can also learn more about us and the show by visiting our website. Finally, take a moment to rate, review and share. Thank you so much for listening.

Hosts Alan and Susan start off discussing their impromptu vacation to Daytona Beach. With both having their own businesses, budgeting for a vacation also means taking into account lost income. This immediately leads to a discussion over finances.

Many couples and marriages end over financial disagreements and debt. Alan and Susan take the audience through some of their own trials and tribulations related to finances. They hope you will maybe learn a few things from their mistakes. They also offer some advice, including the five kinds of spenders and tips for saving. By the end, hosts Alan and Susan put forth a challenge to themselves and the audience to pick a day (or a week) to not spend any money other than for budgeted items.

Rate, Review, Share and Follow!

If you enjoy the show, please take a moment to like us on Facebook and follow us on Instagram and Twitter. You can also learn more about us and the show by visiting our website. Finally, take a moment to rate, review and share. Thank you so much for listening.

In this episode, hosts Alan and Susan interview licensed therapist, Scott Bonk, M.S., LMFT, about seeking help when your relationship needs it. There is nothing wrong with asking for help. The episode starts with a brief overview of Scott's background and his nearly three decades of being a counselor. Alan and Susan discuss the concept of having some individual passions as well as shared ones. As the conversation evolves, the trio hits topics of communication, intentionality, connection and nurturing. All of the above require constant work and dedication. Scott believes we need to feed our relationships as often as we feed ourselves. Plus, if we put nothing but junk food in our bodies, we are not going to have a healthy body. The same applies to relationships. Scott is also a big proponent for changing settings from time-to-time to create a sense of adventure. Date nights out are great, but maybe schedule an overnight stay somewhere once a quarter.

Alan and Susan then recount the Love Language knowledge they gained from knowing each other's Do's and Don'ts. The conversation evolves to cover intimacy and sex. Scott points out that women need to feel love and connection, which leads to intimacy, whereas men are wired the opposite. Men will often let the intimacy lead to feelings of love. So, why are we wired totally different? Scott believes it is so we will be forced to communicate with each other.

But, counselors are not miracle workers. If either person in a relationship does not have a willingness to grow or change, the relationship will shrivel. A good counselor will be honest with you and not keep you in a no-win situation. The sooner issues can be addressed together, the better off couples will be. It's an ongoing continuum requiring constant attention. But, as Scott says, life is supposed to be fun and if you are willing to grow individually, you will grow in your relationship. It's important to be vigilant for when complacency starts to set in, which can lead to taking your partner for granted.

The episode ends with Scott saying he would be willing to help anyone find the right resource if you reach out to him. He has a website and does serve clients throughout NW Georgia.

If you enjoy the show, please take a moment to like us on Facebook and follow us on Instagram and Twitter. You can also learn more about us and the show by visiting our website. Finally, take a moment to rate, review and share. Thank you so much for listening.