Recently I have been making it a point to find things that I am thankful for. A moment of gratitude and celebration for the things that have given me purpose and fueled my ambition. I began to think about how far I have come along in my journey as a professional musician and educator and the people who have helped me along the way.
I just turned 43 and I think to myself, man has time flown by just in the past few years.
This year makes 23 years that I have been teaching private lessons in Whiteville NC. So, that's half of my life I have devoted to educating others on this instrument. It's the longest thing I've ever stuck with no matter how tuff times have gotten, no matter how tired I've ever been, mentally or physically. It's been my journey and the one I'm most proud of.
What do you want to do
In 2002, my senior year of high school, I was in a race to figure out what I wanted to do with my future. My dad had given me two options… "you can either go to Southeastern Community College and I'll pay for it or you can go find a job and get to work". I didn't want to do either one at the time because I was in limbo and didn't want to make a quick decision on my future. I knew I wanted to do something with drums and music but what I wanted to do they didn't offer at a University or local community college. Remember when colleges would visit the schools and you'd have a day of walking around to each table to see what each had to offer? I checked each school out and they all offered the same programs. You could either get a performing degree or a degree in music education and become a band director. I didn't want to be a band director because I knew there was high level of stress involved and I didn't want to be confined to one thing. I also had heard stories of getting a performing degree and it not being a great option.
I had an idea of what I wanted to do but it seemed so far stretched, like it really is just a dream. I wanted to be able to wake up happy each day, knowing that I could play and teach drums and make a difference in peoples lives and not have anyone barking orders at me. Make my own path, my own way.
In November of 2002 I woke up early to perform with the East Columbus High School marching band at the Harvest Day Festival in Whiteville. We marched in the parade early that morning and then performed at the railroad tracks. While we were playing our last piece I remember seeing this big dude across from my line of sight getting into what we were doing. He had one of those tour passes hanging from his neck and looked like he played in a band. He approached me while we were taking our drums off and told me how great of a job we did and how he was reminiscing on when he was in drum line in high school and college. He introduced himself to me as Mel Watts. He was there that day to perform with the band Exile. For those of you that aren't familiar, Exile had the song "I want to kiss you all over". It was in the Adam Sandler movie Happy Gilmore.
Mel and I got to talking about drums and music and he eventually invited me to come hang with him while he was setting up his drums and equipment. We spent a couple of hours just hanging out and talking. He shared with me his journey as a working drummer in Nashville where he recorded drums for many artists including drums on the famous track from Deana Carter, Strawberry Wine, which is now certified 2x platinum. He proceeded to give advice on what I could do, living in a small town. He told me that I should look into teaching private lessons, learn to play with a metronome and educate myself farther on the drums. He also suggested I play with as many bands as possible and get some recording experience under my belt. While listening to his advise I couldn't believe that I had a professional musician standing in front of me giving me his time and knowledge for nothing. I wasn't paying for this conversation and he didn't mind at all. Just a great human being that saw something in me that day, a complete stranger, a kid with a snare drum and a band uniform. It was a conversation that would change my world of thinking and send me on a path that I was about to embark on, all on my own with no blueprint.
Gaining Experience
After having that talk with Mel I set out on a mission to play with as many bands and artists as I could. I had recently started playing in a band with some friends before this conversation that was called Unpaved. We were a Christian rock band and were playing at local churches, the county fair, and the House Of Blues restaurant. We were also getting ready to record our debut album so I had a chance to practice to a metronome and then gain some studio experience. Just a few days after I graduated high school we traveled to Six Flags Over Georgia to compete in a battle of the bands where we finished 4th overall out of many other bands. It was my first time traveling as a musician and playing in front of more people than I ever have. I was also still playing in church and just trying to get my name out there as much as I could. Besides Unpaved I connected with some friends from high school that were working in a southern gospel recording studio in Conway SC. I had the chance to record with them and their family band a few times there. I was learning as much as I could from the performing aspect of it and the ins and outs of the control room. I wanted to know everything I could about the recording process and get better at it. This was back in the day when they were recording to ADAT and not Pro Tools. These were the growing years of my drumming and they were some of the most fun and memorable moments of my life.
Going to college
After the summer of 2002 I proposed an idea to my parents that I wanted to take off the fall semester to work and to have a break from school to figure out what I wanted to do and they agreed to it. That fall I worked at Pizza Village in Whiteville and started brainstorming ideas for my business while I was washing dishes and cooking pizzas. I was trying to figure out how and where I'd be able to teach private lessons as a start to my plan. I also was having to think of a major to choose so I could go to school in January as a "backup plan". We'll come back to that later.
On October 2nd I was working on a Tuesday night at Pizza Village. I can remember it like it was yesterday. It was busy. The back room where I was washing dishes was hot. The steam coming from the dishwasher along with a pile of dishes had me annoyed and frustrated with where my life was at the moment. I didn't want to work for someone else anymore and wanted to work for myself. At this point I made a not so smart decision to end the way I was feeling right then and there and I asked my boss to step outside with me. Once outside, I proceed to tell him about my business plan and that I would be leaving from the pizza business. He encouraged my plan and said "well… when are you thinking of leaving?" I said after tonight. He said oh…
By no means was this a smart decision at all but I was following my heart and no one was going to stop me haha! I still feel bad about the way I did things that night to this day but you live and you learn. Mind you, I only had a dream and nothing set in place for my business and was solely going on emotion and passion. It's ok… you can laugh at how ridiculous this sounds cause it was.
I went the next day to talk to my pastor, Lyndon Purifoy, about my plan and he gladly gave me a spot to start teaching from and even gave me some odd jobs to do around the church to make some money. I also went back to Pizza Village to ask my boss if I could come back part time to do some odd jobs to make some extra cash and he was nice enough to do so. He really was the best boss ever and I should have my tail handed to me for leaving him hanging weeks before. To this day we laugh about it when I go to eat there and talk with him. He's always supported my dream even after I left and we still catch up from time to time.
After leaving Pizza Village and getting side jobs, along with my business plan it was time to start college in January. At that time I was still living at home and I decided to go to school for electrical engineering technology since my dad was an engineer. I figured if this musician thing didn't work out I could have a nice backup plan and make a good living. Looking back now, it wasn't a good decision to have a backup plan and I should have been honest with my parents about what I wanted to do and put forth the efforts for that to happen. Instead, I didn't want them mad or disappointed in me. I guess I wanted to feel some type of security by having that piece of paper… ya know? Back then you were told that to be successful you had to have a degree, so that was instilled in me that if I had that piece of paper everything would work out.
The Idea
In 2003 I started teaching private lessons out of my church in downtown Whiteville. My pastor and mentor at the time, Lyndon Purifoy, thought it would be a great idea and he helped pave the way for me to get started. Now I had a spot to teach out of but no-one to teach yet. That is until I met him at a job I was hired for. I met my first student while doing a side job for a local trailer park owner. I was hired to stain the decks of each of these mobile homes that had freshly been built. The owner had also hired on another person to assist me. We worked with each other for a couple of weeks and started talking about common interests in music and eventually got on the topic of me trying to get the ball rolling with my business. He mentioned he had always wanted to learn to play drums and he would like to be my first student. Just a very powerful side note here… I have never been without a student since he signed up that day 23 years ago… After he started I soon had more people to take interest from church, and from word of mouth. I then started advertising.
I would go out to every business I saw in town within the surrounding counties and pass out business cards. I would make flyers and tape them on the doors of businesses that would allow it and I even paid for ads in the local paper. Anything I could do to get the word out there, I was doing it. It was a slow burn to say the least.
In 2005 I graduated with a degree that I had no interest in and was still trying to figure this thing out and the direction I was taking. For the next 2 years I would work part time jobs during the day and teach in the afternoons till nighttime. For the longest time I averaged around 10-15 students per week and just couldn't break out to where I thought I should be for this to be full time. For that to happen there would be some major changes that would take place not only in my business but also in my life.
Going back to college
In 2007 I decided to go back to school for music, thinking if I had a 4 year degree that could help give me notoriety and it could also be a backup plan just in case this didn't workout, thinking maybe I could go get a job at a bank or something stable if this was to all fall apart… Remember the backup plan? We'll come back to that at the end. I attended Southeastern Community College again for 2 years and studied music theory and composition, then later transferred to UNCP in 2009. This is where I had a major shift in my perspective that set me on a path to do what I wanted to do for the rest of my life.
While at SCC I wanted to further my education on drum set as much as I could but there wasn't anything like that at the community college so I googled private lessons one day to see who was available. I ran across Pat Petrillo. He was giving private lessons an hour away from me at UNCP. I contacted Pat and we had some conversations and I booked a lesson with him a couple of weeks out. He would travel by train from New Jersey all the way to Pembroke. He was an instructor at the university and would come down for a week each month. This was the perfect opportunity for me to finally work with a professional who had a lot of experience playing and teaching on the instrument that I loved so much.
I had two lessons with Pat and at my 2nd lesson I had told him that I was teaching, performing, working, and going to school and didn't know what direction to go. After the lesson was over he said let's take a walk to the percussion department. We traveled across campus and he introduced me to the percussion director at the time, Tracy Wiggins. They talked with me about my options and what I wanted to do. They were excited to tell me of a new program they were offering that was right up my alley. It was an entrepreneurship degree titled as Music Industry. I would learn all about the music business and I would also study my instrument and world percussion along with recording technology. It was like a dream come true that I had found something that lined up with where I was wanting to go with my career.
I left that night excited. I wanted to do everything in my power to transfer to UNCP and make things happen.
With a new fire inside of me I filled out an application to the school, researched scholarships, student loan programs, and what was needed to put myself where I was supposed to be.
A few months had passed and I had been accepted to UNCP for the Fall semester of 2009. Now it was time to get accepted as a music major in the music program and tryout for the Spirit Of The Carolina's Marching Band. That spring of 2009 I worked extremely hard on all the requirements for my music audition and my drum corps pieces.
For my music major audition I had to have a snare solo, a marimba solo, timpani solo, play different styles of music on drum set, and perform snare drum rudiments. For my drum line audition I was given close to 12 pieces to have memorized. This was a lot of material but it was something I was determined to do to the best of my ability. Since I was 25 at the time, I had been out of the marching world, and band in general, so I set out to seek help from a previous band director of mine.
Something I forgot to mention in my timeline is that I had been coaching the drum line for Whiteville high school since 2005 and the band director, Chance Bryant was also my band director my senior year at East Columbus High School. I had a good relationship with him and his students. When I reached out to him he was more than willing to help me with my audition pieces. He also brought in South Columbus High School's band director Brittan Goodwin to help me on my snare and timpani pieces.
I worked hard each week on all the required pieces, practiced technique, and would go back and have Mr. Bryant and Mr. Goodwin listen and critique me. They helped me so much during this process and I learned so much from them. Again, good people just wanting to lend a helping hand only to see me succeed. I was very thankful for their time and support.
Leading up to my auditions I was in a band at the time traveling to play at these Christian youth camps in the mountains and at Falcon Children's home. During these weekend gigs I was still practicing when I wasn't performing. I'd have my folder with all of my music and just a practice pad and sticks. I was putting in the work.
Audition day
The day had finally come for my audition. Not sure if I mentioned it before but both the music major audition and drum line audition were on the same day. No pressure…
I can remember driving that 55 minute drive to UNCP feeling nervous. Not because I didn't know the material but because I was about to do something I had never done before, well… at least at that level. What I didn't realize at the time is I had been preparing for that moment my whole life. I just didn't know it.
First was my drum line audition. Myself, along with probably 30 other people were packed tight in the band room. It was a room full of strangers with the same goal in mind. Everyone wanted to be there and everyone wanted to do their best. there were marching drums set up from wall to wall. Snare drums, bass drums, tenors, marimbas, cymbals. The building was fairly new so it had that new carpet smell. The walls were white with the UNCP mascot adorned in all the appropriate places. It was a lot to take in with my mind already racing but, let's begin.
After waiting a while the percussion director walked in and covered important details about the audition and informed us that we would be doing a group audition where we chose what drum we wanted to play and performed the pieces that were gives to us months prior. My shoulders relaxed and I let out a long breath after hearing that. I felt better knowing I wasn't going to be singled out in front of everyone.
We performed together as a unit and in between pieces you could start to see everyone relax a little. Parts started to come together cleanly and in time. Stick heights started to level out, and dynamics were present. It was an amazing feeling to play with a group of people at that level. It was a precursor to what I could be doing if I made the cut. I had always done things on my own other than high school marching band. This was a chance to be a part of an elite group of individuals that wanted the same thing as I did.
After playing for an hour or so and taking direction from the percussion director we were told to take a seat on the floor and wait for further instruction. This is where my nervous system ramped back up to me wondering "what's next?" We waited for about 15 minutes while the director and section leaders discussed their decisions behind closed doors. Finally they came out and announced each person for the drum they were behind. Name after name was announced and then my name, "Matthew Dudley snare". I couldn't believe it… I was quietly celebrating in my mind after hearing my name called and at the same time I was proud. My eyes welled up with tears but I didn't let one fall. I kept my composure other than smiling. I knew how much work I had put in and how much older I was than the rest of the group who were fresh out of high school. I worked hard for this and it paid off. But that was just the first half… I still had to go perform for my audition in 30 minutes to see if I'd be accepted into the music program.
Proceeding down the hall to Wiggins office my nerves were ignited once more putting my recent victory on the back burner until I could finalize this audition. I was asked to play the following… a prepared Snare Drum solo, Timpani piece, a composition on Marimba, Snare Drum Rudiments, and different styles on Drum Set. I performed each piece with a few minor mistakes here and there but I didn't stop. I completed each solo and prepared piece and then performed on the kit for the Jazz Band director. It all went pretty smooth I felt, and I could once again drop my shoulders and take a breath. This time there were no closed doors or discussions between the two. They just looked at me and critiqued a few things and asked "would you like to be a part of our music program here at UNCP?". I replied with restrained excitement… "yes!"
After being accepted they spoke with me about financial aid and even a scholarship they could help me with, which I later received that helped me significantly. It was a scholarship for drum set studies for their program. I couldn't believe everything that was happening all in that day. I had accomplished a lot in my mind and I was grateful for the people who had helped me. Many years of memories were flooding my head as I was on my drive back home. I called my parents and friends and told them. Everyone was happy for me and supportive. Now it was time to get prepared for what was to come.
Keeping Up The Pace
At UNCP I studied under some really great instructors such as Pat Petrillo and my percussion director Tracy Wiggins. I learned so much from them during my stent at UNCP but I think the most I got out of college was being in drum line with The Spirit OF The Carolina's Marching Band.
Being in college drum line wasn't like being in high school marching band. It was strict, disciplined, focused. I was there with 25 other drummers and percussionists that strived for greatness in everything they did. When you're with a group of people like that you don't want to let them down and most importantly, you don't want to let yourself down. I was pushed on a daily basis to be the best I could be and to practice as much as possible. If you were not early to rehearsal you were late and you had to do pushups and or run laps. There wasn't room for complaining at all and I gained a sense of not wanting to let my teammates down. However, there were a few times I felt like I wasn't at the level as the rest of my team and thought I may have been dragging them down… I remember thinking, I'm 26 years old and have been out of the marching world since high school and most of the line were straight out of high school or had been in the line here at UNCP for a couple of years already. I went to talk to my percussion director to ask if I was causing any issues within the line and if I should quit and he said of course not! He continued to tell me that he could tell I was putting in the practice and that I was reliable. I told him I'd do my best and I stuck in there for the rest of the season. I was actually doing well and putting in the work but I think I was just dealing with Imposter syndrom at the time. That was one of the first times in my life that I did't quit something when times were uncertain, or tough. I hung in there and I learned so much from that experience.
The hardest decision
After two semesters at UNCP I looked at my options and tried to figure out what I would do having the entrepreneurship/Music Industry Bachelors degree vs doing things on my own. I spent the better part of 2 months in my head wondering if going into debt and gaining education would be the answer for what I would do for the rest of my life. Would it get me a better job as a performer, as an educator? I was also afraid to let my Mom and Dad down, all of the people who were rooting for me to finish college and thought so highly of me. I had a lot of weight on my shoulders and hardly any time to do anything with the amount of hours I was attending at UNCP, and also an hour drive there and back.
You see… what I really wanted to do was make a living from playing and teaching drums full time. I wanted to have my own schedule and be able to do things on my own, which I was already kind of doing, minus working the part time jobs along with teaching. I thought and analyzed all kinds of scenarios with that degree vs without. And I finally came to an answer that felt right.
In 2010 I chose to leave UNCP and put all of my eggs in one basket. I knew when I left I'd be alone, I would have to do this all on my own with no one pushing me, no one waking me up early to work for it. This would be the true test of if I wanted this bad enough.
Putting all my eggs into one basket
I took every bit of money I had saved up and printed business cards along with flyers and hit up every business in every town within my county on a weekly basis. I shook hands and introduced myself to strangers and gave my spiel on drum lessons and got out of my comfort zone. I did these things like my life depended on it because I have this passion within that wouldn't let me quit. I wanted to wake up happy each week knowing I was doing something that I loved and not settling for something that could drain my life away. I was determined. I was driven.
I immediately began to pickup more students than than I had ever had. My business was starting to outgrow my time slots I had at my church and that's around the time my friend and Mentor Don Peacock suggested that I move from the church into his music studio across from the Hospital in Whiteville. It was a high traffic area and there were no time limits on the building because he only used it for band practices that we had with our band and the occasional recording session. This opportunity opened up my schedule even more for growth and flexibility so that I could gain more students. This was the next step in my journey to solidifying my name in my hometown. This happened in 2014 and I had started teaching in 2003. My average student count was around 20 to 25 students per week.
The hardest time of my life
On January 21, 2022, my friend and mentor, Don Peacock passed away from brain cancer. He played such a huge roll in my life and always encouraged my musical path. Later I will release an episode on how important of a person he was to me and how he changed my life. This was a very hard time for me. Not only did I lose my friend but now I didn't know where my business was going to go or even if it would still exist after having to leave the studio. I was fearful of what direction things would go and wondered what the state of my career would be in the coming months.
Great people help people
In this life we have people come into it that help us in the right times. One of my good friends and band mates, Jason Smith, had mentioned to me that his friend and Barber might could help me. He had told me he had a small studio right beside his Barber shop and might would rent it out to me, I'd just need to go talk to him. I did just that and ended up compromising because of the volume, using electronic drums and headphones during the open hours of business of the Barber shop and then I could use acoustic drums once they were closed in the evenings. It was a huge blessing to have this spot come up in such a tough time. I couldn't ask for better friends or a better location being right downtown. This had the biggest impact on my business in such a positive way.
Thankful for all that I have
Fast forward today… I have been there going on four years and have the most students I have ever taught on a weekly basis! I'm right downtown and have the best view from my studio. The sun comes in with a warm glow while I'm teaching. The sound of traffic in the background with people walking by observing students learning, and myself teaching. I am beyond grateful and thankful. I have realized through half of my life I have had some of the best people come into my life that I have built lasting relationships with that have extended way beyond just acquaintances. These people have been there through the tuff times and the good times with me. I've learned so much during this time on this planet. We aren't meant to be alone. We are meant to have great relationships with other human beings that encourage us, that want to see us succeed with our wildest dreams. We aren't meant to do this thing alone. "It takes a village." It's almost as If I'm doing exactly what I'm supposed to be doing… and the path… it's presenting itself. I just have to keep walking it and trusting.
