Guests: Mike Thornberry and Gabe Boyd

 

Tim Keller begins the book by talking about the importance of marriage from God’s design in comparison to what the world thinks about the institution of marriage. He shares some powerful statistics about the decline of marriage in America and then shares a very powerful comment from comedian Chris Rock who said, “Do you want to be single and lonely or married and bored?” The institution of marriage has fully morphed into something that is solely for my personal pleasure - and Keller believes that is not God’s design or intent for marriage!

 

Chapter 1 - “A man shall leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This is a profound mystery…” Ephesians 5:31-32

 

T4M is all about the idea that being a man is about being Christ-centered and other-focused, not self-absorbed. 

 

Gabe: marriage has to be seen through the lens of the Gospel.

 

Dan: marriage, like the Gospel, is life-transforming and makes us better people.

 

Mike: when I first got married, I didn’t have a good definition of love. “Love is the commitment of my will to the betterment of your needs regardless of the cost to me.” From Tim Kimmel, Grace Filled Marriage.

 

Gabe: you can only give what you’ve been given. You have to have a relationship with Christ to truly understand God’s design for marriage.

 

Keller: Marriage used to be a public institution for the common good, and now it is a private arrangement for the satisfaction of the individuals. Marriage used to be about us, but now it is about me.

 

Dan: Marriage, as an institution the way that God has designed it, doesn’t make sense without the foundation of a life that has been transformed by the love and grace of Jesus Christ. Do you have to truly understand God’s design for marriage to get married - no, but you won’t be able to enjoy God’s design for sex unless you experience it in it’s proper place within the boundary and protection of marriage. It’s like fire - in the fireplace, it’s great; outside the fireplace, it’s destructive.

 

Chapter 2 - “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” Ephesians 5:21

 

Mike: I wasn’t trying to help my spouse for a long time, I was trying to “fix” her. Big difference.

 

Dan: God loved us while we were yet sinners, and the walk of obedience changes us into the image of Christ. Marriage, when done God’s way, helps change us into the men and women that God desires.

 

Gabe: Keller writes, “Seek to serve one another rather than to be happy and you will find a new and deeper happiness.” This may sound ridiculous - but it’s true. The end result of marriage is that we would love each other for the glory of God, not our own selfish desires.

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