The Meaning of Marriage

In this final class, Justin discusses Tim Keller's chapter "Singleness and Marriage" from his book The Meaning of Marriage. Far from being something that is of no relevance to singles, Keller asserts that all types of singles cannot live well without a proper understanding of marriage. This week Justin wraps up the class by putting marriage in its proper perspective and shows how essential the community of the Church is intended to be when it comes to both singles and married couples.

In this class, Justin discusses the chapter "Embracing the Other" in Tim Keller's Meaning of Marriage. This chapter was written by Tim's wife, Kathy, and holds that while men and women are both of equal dignity and worth, their differences in gender correspond to different roles that God has designed within marriage. This week Justin presents what Kathy teaches, while also defining some key terms, setting the limits of the discussion, locating the debate within a historical framework, and then presenting what the Bible says and doesn't say about gender roles in marriage, hopefully debunking many popular charicatures along the way. This is indeed a controversial teaching but one that, as Kathy Keller says in the chapter, leads to flourishing and healing when embraced with honor and love.

This week Justin discussed Tim Keller's 5th chapter in The Meaning of Marriage "Loving the Stranger." Keller sums up the tools we are given in marriage to care for our spouses as "speaking the truth in love in the power of God's grace."

In this class Justin looks at the eighth and ninth chapters of The Intimate Mystery by Dan Allender and Tremper Longman III. Unlike Timothy Keller's chapter "Sex and Marriage" which sought to define and defend the Bible's sexual ethic, the content this week focuses on the theological and relational implications of the biblical sexual ethic.

In this class, Justin looks at Timothy Keller's eighth chapter in The Meaning of Marriage entitled "Sex and Marriage." This chapter focuses on what the Christian sexual ethic actually is, why God designed it that way, and how those who are married and not married can live according to that design.

In this class, Justin looks at chapters 6 & 7 in Dan Allender and Tremper Longman III's The Intimate Mystery which discuss how married couples are to weave souls their souls together. This weaving involves speech - speaking like God speaks. It involves addressing two common responses that we have in conflict: shame (hiding) and blaming (contempt). Married couples should not hide, blame, or distort the conflicting view of reality of their spouse but must be committed to seeing reality the way God does, which involves both parties perceptions being addressed. Marriage partners are then to move towards one another, speak the truth in love, own their own faults, feel the other's pain, understand one another's hearts through narrating the stories that have shaped them, and then extend the forgiveness and love of God so that their hearts might be further knit together.

This week Justin examines the chapters in Dan Allender and Tremper Longman III's The Intimate Mystery that explore what it means to leave father and mother (Genesis 2:24). Far from being a one time event, leaving our family of origin and all of our past allegiances is an ongoing process that is essential if we are to forge trust in this new ultimate allegiance of marriage. The marriage relationship must have privacy, primacy and power moreso than any other relationship in order for us to live into the fulness of what God created marriage to be.

In this class, Justin examines the 4th chapter of Tim Keller's The Meaning of Marriage, entitled "The Purpose of Marriage." Marriage was instituted by God for a far grander purpose than our mere earthly lives. It was intended by God to be nothing short of an instrument to make us fit for an eternity with God in heaven. And this purpose has profound consequences for how we search for a spouse and how we interact with our spouse. Also in this episode, we begin to take a peak into Dan Allender's book The Intimate Mystery which we will tackle in the next few weeks in order to gain some practical tools into how we can work towards the purpose of marriage.

In this class, Justin explores the nature of marital love by reviewing Tim Keller's third chapter, "The Essence of Marriage." Keller argues that at the heart of real love is the act of promising and commitment. While any notions of duty and legally binding oneself to another (which are entailed in the making of any covenant) are seen by many today to be restrictive, oppressive and counter-productive to one's self-flourishing, Keller shows that in fact the actions of love lead to greater feelings of love and freedom.

In this class, Justin discusses chapter two of Tim Keller's book entitled, "The Power for Marriage." After discussing the lofty calling and nature of marriage in chapter 1, Keller thankfully shows us where we can obtain the power to live into this wonderful mystery.