If you've ever worked somewhere with a toxic environment, you'll know just how draining it can be and the toll it takes on your mental health.
But in the music world, even if the place you're working in is toxic, whether it's a school, a band, ensemble or studio, walking away from it comes with a price. Traditionally, you'll be called a quitter, weak, and the perception is that you never had what it took.
In other words, you're not a real musician.
Well that's an old, outdated and toxic mindset and it's why so many musicians, particularly in the classical world, burn out so severely, struggle with depression and battle anxiety on a daily basis.
But thankfully, the modern classical musicians of this generation are fighting back and changing this attitude, normalising things like walking away from ensembles with toxic cultures, or breaking outdated rules by blending different styles of music, like jazz and pop, into the classical repertoire.
And this is what my guest today, Esther Ling, a pianist and teacher from Calgary, Canada, wants to share with every musician today, young and old. I was really moved by our conversation, because she is as resilient as they come.
We talked about her upbringing, when she struggled to find the balance between academic expectations and wanting to learn the music she loved most. We talked about how working with difficult people during COVID led to a period of deep depression and anxiety, but also how she found the courage to keep fighting, be true to herself, and become the musician she always wanted to be.
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Chapters:
- (0:00:00) Intro and new opening music
- (2:52) Welcome Esther to the Mental Musician
- (3:52) Esther's childhood and what music means to her
- (13:10) The stress of piano lessons and exams
- (21:43) Brian's love affair with the guitar
- (26:38) Finding a balance between discipline and enjoyment
- (28:30) Blending different styles and eras of music
- (37:00) Remember the Harlem Shake?
- (41:19) Making mistakes is part of learning music
- (42:48) Esther's struggles with depression
- (47:32) COVID's long lasting impact on musician's mental health
- (52:43) Esther's struggle with imposter syndrome
- (57:15) Fake support in the music community
- (1:01:38) Advice from Brian's teacher
- (1:04:50) Experiencing performance anxiety
- (1:09:11) Turning a drunk crowd onto your side
- (1:13:45) The need to teach kids how to manage performance anxiety
- (1:14:35) Esther's mental health struggles during COVID
- (1:21:52) Stepping away to take care of yourself
- (1:38:10) Rapid fire questions
- (1:38:57) Mental health check-in - How you doing?
- (1:43:09) What's the best gig Esther's ever done?
- (1:44:43) The worst gig gig Esther's ever done
- (1:45:39) The album Esther would listen to for the rest of her life
- (1:46::08) Some love for NSYNC
- (1:47:49) Esther's biggest ick in music
- (1:50:28) The heartwarming message Esther would say to her future self
- (1:55:28) Thank you Esther for coming onto the show
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If you enjoyed today's episode, please share it with your fellow musicians, give us a 5 star rating as it'll help the show grow and subscribe so you don't miss an episode.
And please follow Esther on all her social platforms to support her:
Website: https://www.estherlingpianist.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/estherlingpianist/
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@estherlingpianist
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