The Michelle Collins Show

Happy Halloween! Michelle is joined by Dan Acton, fresh off of rigging his house with pinhole cams to record the action (joke), to discover what is by far the most disturbing Halloween costume available on Amazon as we speak. (click at your own risk.) We get a recap of Dan's party last week, followed by an extended tale (shock) of Michelle's foray into one of New Jersey's least talked about towns, bonding with airport workers but shunning the advances of the Garden State's gassiest cabbie. And while the tree frogs chirp away, we take a closer look into Love Is Blind's Rob aka Darvo Conger and Michaella, in some of the most riveting/morally reprehensible TV we've seen all year. Plus: An Andy Cohen sighting in the wild, Tailor Swift? More like Tailor Slow!, and has Foghorn Leghorn gotten work done?

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Dan Acton joins Michelle today for an episode rife with ribaldry from the friendly skies. Yes, Dan met a "pilot" - or is he - and walks us through a saucy evening in America's complicated cocktail capital of Lexington, KY. The real question is: Has anyone else dated a pilot and do they all insist on showing their abs off in public?! God willing. Michelle, meanwhile, is back in Miami and debating what's worth more, some money in the bank or mental healthcare? She's gonna slink off to her lair to think about it. Today's the day: Mich is going to the hit doc "You Are What You Eat!" and will report back tomorrow. Plus, CBS is cranking out big hits including The Amazing Race and Endless Screensaver. And Love Is Blind makes us realize... everyone is unbearable. A beautiful lesson. Don't forget to get tickets to Mich's In Big Letters Tour which is kicking off Nov 10 at Joe's Pub!! Tickets here: michellecollinscomedy.com

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The bobs are BOBBIN today as Red Carpet Wonder, Podcaster and Author Keltie Knight sits down with Michelle to unpack her new book, The Fuck Them Theory: Self-Help For People Who Are Done Being The Bigger Person. Bobs aside, the ladies have a lot in common: Debilitating ADHD (only one is medicated), terrible facial piercing decisions in their youth, an undying love of Rihanna, and dreams of being the next grifter featured on Bravo. Thrifting vs. Bargain Shopping are also up for debate, and becoming the next wife of Tom Cruise. Lock in because these two let the words fly at speeds previously unseen.

For even more Michelle Collins, and really, why stop now? Join her Patreon!  https://www.patreon.com/michcoll 

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The day we've all waited for is finally here. Legend Trixie Mattel is BACK as our guest today and finally answers the question we've all been asking: What's your favorite vacuum cleaner? But listener, so much more is discussed: The IMDb star meter, ancestral rice, giant spiders, and airplane etiquette (Michelle can't get enough of this topic apparently). We get diva boots on the ground reporting live from the Chicken Festival, and quotes from some true American heroes, Phaedra Parks. Be SURE to watch the Trixie Halloween Mattelethon, available for free on YouTube, and tickets to Michelle's tour are now FULLY on sale! Head over to MichelleCollinsComedy.com to see if she's coming to a city near you.

For even more Michelle Collins, and really, why stop now? Join her Patreon!  https://www.patreon.com/michcoll 

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Has anyone ever said "things that make you go 'mmm'" about the C&C Cheesecake Factory? Well this episode surely will! Bryan Safi joins Mich to recap their literal day from heaven this past Sunday which included doing the Romeo & Juliet balcony scene at the Glendale TJ Maxx, then rifling through some Ross cosmetics, followed by a heapin' trough of delights at the Americana. This is a detailed hangout recap, you've been warned, but the episode is rounded out with a timely look back at Oscar Winning Songs and why they've fallen off so bad. Apologies to Dianne Warren!! (Always.) Go see Bryan in New York at the Hilarity for Charity Fundraiser Oct 2!

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This is an episode that does the impossible, which is have it all. Dan Acton joins from next to his unplugged rice cooker as Michelle fills us all in on the mind-blowing Rosalia concert in Miami. And while we do the usual TV/Broadway recapping, we also finally crack open the 75-year-old copy of one of the most vile Presidential cookbooks ever written, and uncover an incredibly sordid tale of the lover in the attic, apron factories, and big-titted big mouths who almost got away with the perfect crime. (Wait, she actually did get away with it.) (Also maybe our worst title stretch of the year.)...

For even more Michelle Collins, and really, why stop now? Join her Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/michcoll

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We LOOOOOOVE when our resident tennis expert and host of The Gay Tennis Podcast Tony Hagen stops by, especially at a time when the country is fraught with tennis opinions!! The U.S. (Wide) Open has welcomed everyone with 2 pennies and an Instagram following into their suites this year, and etiquette? It's out the window honey! Audience participation is almost a requirement at this year's slam, and Tony gives us his boots on the ground reporting live from Queens. Lots of questions covered: Why are the "kits" so hideous? Who can afford anything? Specifically oversized bagel bag charms? Plus... lots of hotel unpacking including a new chain that we just can't get enough of. Will this episode be the thing that finally heals Michelle from her NYC sinus infection/cold? Tune in for 90 minutes while our electricity is still on to find out! For more of The Michelle Collins Show, head to Patreon.com/Michcoll and to see Michelle live in LA on Sept 24 at The Elysian, head to the link in her Instagram bio.

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Hate to tell you that the title is not as spicy as you would like though hopefully will get your heart racing (with stress!) She is BACK in LA and riddled with COVID: It's Rose Abdoo!! Who has been busy trying to charm her way into the hearts of the desk employees in her Montreal apartment building while shooting the new CBS show Eternally Yours. There is so much for these ladies to unpack (literally): Life in Canada, tariffs and doors, gowns... the usual. Michelle is back in NYC and had one of the most thrilling, intoxicating, scary and overall fabulous day that was still riddled with nearby crime in the big city with her friend, brilliant comedian Dylan Carlino.

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It's always a great day when our friend comedian Dylan J. Palladino stops by to allow Michelle to lightly rub him with a sisterly love we know he adores.* (we hope!) Today, we unpack Dylan's solo man-moto journey to the beaches of the Jersey Shore, and also the importance of helmets despite looking like the biggest loser alive. Michelle has foots-on-the-ground reporting from her podiatrist's office, where shirtless men dominate the waiting room and her wikifeet is being updated live from the hallway. She rewarded herself by trying on jewelry she will likely never afford, which leads one to ask what IS the deal with men and their black "carbon" wedding bands? Talk us into it! Plus, remembering sweet angel Dolly Parton, Dylan has a sheets update, and why aren't actors getting ugly anymore?!

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We are SO BACK. Michelle may still be in Italy surrounded by the most beautiful sights in the world, but that is not stopping her from sharing stories big and small, fun and scarring, for your listening pleasure. And joining is Abby Holland, who has an amazing new job that we are celebrating while also hoping to also be invited into the Sandwich Club. Michelle, meanwhile, did her best to relax on her days off in the beautiful town known as Sorrento. Tours abound, highs and lows as well: Some tours were amazing, some nearly led to an ambulance, but one thing brings it all together... amazing people whom we befriended and some crazy coincidences we're choosing not to ignore. PLUS: Michelle visits the Italian Phantom of the B.O.-pera castle against her will, but nothing and she means nothing, not heat, not BO, not haunted attic rooms, not the endless line of scammers, will stop her from loving this country.

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