The Moderately Tortured Artist

The Little Victim. A wounded part of ourselves that we often hold some disdain or frustration around and that we often try to forget we have and definitely attempt to keep out of the public eye.

One that can crop up when we're challenged, when we face disappointment or things don't go as we expect or hope they will.

Unfortunately this can mean days, weeks, months or even years where we give in to the "It's hopeless, why even bother?" story they tell and wake up wishing for that time back or weighed down by shame.

So how do we ensure that this part of us isn't in the driver's seat early enough to veer us off the road?

How do we tend to this part of ourselves in a healthier, more loving way than the typical ignore, bury or push through tactics?

And what is the value in understanding why they're present and trying to wrangle control in the first place?

This episode shares how I'm working with my Little Victim, what I've learned about her and what changes I'm making to keep her a tad quieter and in the back seat instead of driving and wreaking havoc.

One of the biggest sources of friction we tend to encounter as creatives is the chase for external validation and the frustration that we're still chasing external validation.

We give others the power of determining whether our art or our performance is "good" or "successful", which amplifies our experience of things like imposter syndrome and stage fright.

But what if there was an alternative to outsourcing the seal of approval?

There is. But first you need to figure out what it is that you even LIKE (which can be a challenge when you've never asked yourself that question).

How much of our identity is set and how much control do we really have over making changes to it?

One of the questions I get asked most is "How do I become more confident?" and that's what I'd love to tackle in this episode where we delve a little into the neuro-science and psychology around identity.

The notion of free traits and being able to develop these (just like a skill or a muscle) is not only empowering but gives us somewhere to START.

The first Backstage cohort will be opening it's doors very soon.

If you want to be the first to know...

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Have you ever felt that your sensitivity has held you back from pushing outside your comfort zone or embracing a challenge?

I think this is a story that many creatives can relate to and one that is not doing us any favours.

This episode is about chipping away at that belief, seeing the brilliance in your sensitivity and finding a more sustainable way to take the risks needed to live a big, beautiful, creative life.

I think it is highly likely that we're dealing with an epidemic of the apathetic kind.

That the phrase "I can't be bothered" or "I don't know if I can be bothered" is having an IT girl moment (and who can blame us with the state if the world right now?).

But what is it costing us when it comes to the quality of our lives and the novelty, spontaneity and creativity that we crave?

Is there a part of you (like me) who believes that the free-spirited nature of an artist equals external chaos and an aversion to organisation and structure?

If so, let's unpack this a little because I realised that in clinging to this idea as part of my identity, it was creating an undercurrent of overwhelm (and I suspect that it could be doing so for you too).

In this episode I share what I discovered about this resistance to being organised, the cost of that to my creativity and what I'm doing to steer myself in a new direction (that could be supportive for you too).

Do you have a sense of your own creative potential?

For me, I can taste it and know instinctively that I've barely scratched the surface. But I also have a history of over-working and falling in a heap afterwards.

So how can we be in perpetual creative motion and learning without striving, chasing self worth or exhausting ourselves? And what barriers need to be removed in order to make this happen?

The term "emptying myself" feels like a good starting point because it challenges me in both the practice of showing up and making something (without judging if it's any good or not) and how deep I'm willing to take myself, how vulnerable and gritty and messy I'm willing to get.

And even though the taste of it is audacious, it stops my imposter syndrome in its tracks because I'm not claiming to be an expert or even talented in the pursuit of "emptying myself" but I AM declaring that I've stopped screwing around.

So as I explore this in the next few episodes, explore the question "What would emptying yourself creatively feel like and look like for you?"

So there's a part of you who wants to come out of hiding, to be seen as more authentically YOU. Who wants to take up a little more space. Who wants to be able to express themselves honestly and to allow others to witness that.

Welcome to the podcast episode just for you. This contains everything I wish I'd known before I went on this journey myself.

Why this can feel incredibly uncomfortable. Why expecting anything less actually creates more problems. And what you can do to support yourself through it.

If left unchecked, this disappointment can build up and build up and begin to turn into resentment and apathy. The narrative of "why should I bother?"

I don't want that for you, so let's shed some light on why you tend to veer down this rabbit hole and how you can avoid the bitterness that comes with it.

The guided close eye practice I mentioned to connect with your protector parts is ready for you here: https://www.dropbox.com/s/b37fxcyz4q6dvc7/Nurture%20Your%20Protectors.mp3?dl=0

And if you're ready for support in cracking your self-expression wide open, find out more about my Artists in Resonance community here: https://www.embodyyourartistry.com/artists-in-resonance