HOW STEPPING OUT OF OUR CULTURAL GENDER F*CK MAY IS THE KEY TO OUR ENLIGHTENMENT Published 12 November 2018
SUMMARY:
One of the most painful memories of my youth was being called a woman. Not a “girly girl” by playmates at school, but an actual woman by a fragrance sample sprayer at the mall at the age of 14 who greeted my friend and I by calling us “Sir and “m’am” as we walked by. My friend enjoyed it… He was tall, bearded and had developed ahead of his time, I was short, overweight and had unruly puffy hair, meaning she must have been referring to me as the woman. I won’t lie, this moment scarred me. As a young gay male you are used to being called “girly girl” by boys your age in the playground but a woman working at the mall should know better, you think. This marked the beginning of a process which haunted me for most of my adult life as I felt terrified of my lack of masculinity.
One year ago however, as I was ordering coffee while connecting flights at Paris Charles de Gaulle Airport the barista asked me “What can I get you Madame”. His colleague quickly corrected him to “Monsieur!”. As he handed me the coffee he closed with a gentle “Merci madame!” This time, I was not only at peace with the comment, but actually honored, privileged and mentally high-fived the lad. So what happened in the years in between? The exploration which lead to my new-found comfort with my feminine side is what I like to call my spiritual sex-change operation.