The NDINI Podcast

Born and raised in Zimbabwe, Francisca experienced inequality from birth. She had experienced all types of harassment and discrimination that are considered a norm for the culture and society that she lived in. Growing up, she had been a sibling with the lesser share, a molested student and employee, and a wife in a toxic marriage struggling to raise her child. Having endured this reality, Francisca started to understand the root cause of this inequality and began a lifelong commitment to taking a stand and speaking up against gender inequality. 

Francisca believes in Maternal Power, the sacred bond created when a child begins its journey in its mother’s body, intricately bound by a connection even stronger than the umbilical cord. She is convinced that the untapped potential of maternal power is a transformational force in the struggle for gender equality. 

In her first published book, Mother, Behold Thy Son, Francisca shares her most personal experiences to show how mothers can use storytelling — coupled with their innate maternal power — to not just help their sons to reject toxic masculinity, but also to model how their daughters can become true equals.

In this conversation, Francisca talks about how we are all victims of the same system -- a system in our culture and society that propagates generational inequality -- and how important it is for us to be aware of it, and ultimately work to change it.

Francisca also talks about the role of music in her advocacy for change. She plays the Mbira and speaks highly of its therapeutic quality and how her children taught her to play it.They produced a twelve track album with her three children where they sing songs that are meant to transform undesired social, economic, and political realities.

Aside from publishing her book, Francisca is a double winner of the Nunavut Iqaluit Status of Women Gender Equality Competition held in 2015. She was recognized as one of 57 mobilizers for gender equality and represented Canada at the Women Deliver 2019 Vancouver Conference. 

Mother Behold Thy Son is available internationally on Amazon.

“We become the stories we tell ourselves. So whatever story you’re telling yourself is the story you recreate for yourself.” - Mpumi Nobiva

This week we have the privilege of welcoming back Mpumi Nobiva. Our first NDINI interview with Mpumi was a little over 2 years ago. A lot has happened in her life since then, so she came back to give us an update.  

When we last spoke to Mpumi, she was living her dream working for a prestigious company in Los Angeles, and living in a gorgeous high rise apartment.  She was on a plane almost every weekend travelling across the globe to speak on stages in front of thousands of people.  Mpumi talks about how she was so focused on being a “success” without realizing why I was so driven.  

“Because I was so fixated on this idea of success, and because I was so driven, what I wasn’t realizing is that the motivating force of my success was fear.” - Mpumi Nobiva

But it all came at a very heavy price.  Mpumi opened up about the weight of success, and the toll it took on her mental health. She talks about the challenges of trying to reconcile the dream life she was living, with the very real poverty that her family was still living in.  She also talks about the ‘black tax’ - the burden of being the one who “made it”, and the burden that brings with it.  

“There’s real weight when you encounter something. It impacts your energy level in such a real way I wish we knew how to express so that we can relieve ourselves from that.” - Mpumi Nobiva

Mpumi talks about the weight of carrying other people’s suffering, the feelings of guilt about her success, and the societal pressures.  At the peak of her success, Mpumi had a physical and mental breakdown.  

“I needed to step away from all of this because I needed love. I needed to love myself.” - Mpumi Nobiva

Mpumi realized she needed to time to heal, and to find her true self.  This included taking time away from social media, and to surround herself with real relationships and support. This included seeking help through therapy.  Therapy helped her start to understand more about herself, and the reasons behind her suffering.  This included what she came to know was generational unprocessed trauma.

“Solitude means you’re able to exist independently and be of your own independent essence and have your own stature... and that takes real work for an African girl who grew up not knowing how to love herself.” - Mpumi Nobiva

Telling her story to the world has inspired many.  Mpumi’s story is one of being born in poverty, a mother who sacrificed her life to provide for her family, being raised by her grandmother; and then being given the opportunity of a lifetime through The Oprah Winfrey Leadership Academy for Girls.  

Through hard work, determination, and to keep a promise she made to her grandmother, Mpumi has become an Award-Winning International Speaker and Communication Strategist. She has spoken at the White House, congressional fundraisers, corporate functions and nonprofit initiatives in several countries. 

Mpumi is now on a new journey with a fresh perspective in her life.  She has always been very vocal in speaking about HIV/AIDS awareness, and has expanded her work to support other causes impacting women and children in South Africa. In particular she is choosing to focus on supporting mental wellness. 

“We need to deconstruct what success means for the African. We need to deconstruct what religion is for the African. We need to deconstruct what spirituality is, what mental health is for the African.” - Mpumi Nobiva

In this second part of our conversation with Tendai, shares the impact of the success of Cook Off, especially now that the film has made it to Netflix. She expresses her optimism of the film industry in Zimbabwe and her dream to inspire young women.

Tendai graduated from the University of Cape Town in South Africa with a Bachelor of Arts in Film, Media & Writing and Drama. During and after her studies she acted in several student short films, and even did musical stage productions as a conceptualiser, song writer, co-director and actress. Having worked as a runner in film production, Tendai gained experience in editing, and on-set management. With radio production skills training, she has also published scripts on national radio.

Shot in 2017, Zimbabwe’s political and economic situation were not exactly ideal, and the film had a meagre starting budget of just $8,000. Tendai shares their challenges during filming, and how they were able to pull it off with much collaboration, hard work, and efficient creative decisions and opportunities, like repurposing the existing set of Zimbabwe’s version of Top Chef to be used for their film. An article from The Guardian details the grueling experiences of the cast and crew during filming, including barely covering food on set, having no running water, experiencing power cuts, and even getting choked on tear gas dispersed in an anti-government protest.

Despite the extremely difficult filming conditions and process, the film was well received and officially selected as part of the International Film Festival of Rotterdam 2018, the Seattle Film Festival 2018, and others. Tendai won Best Actress at the Zimbabwe International Film Festival in 2018 for her role in Cook Off. She has also received the honors of National Arts Merit Awards Outstanding Actress (NAMA) in 2019.

Cook Off is now streaming internationally on Netflix.

Tendai graduated from the University of Cape Town in South Africa with a Bachelor of Arts in Film, Media & Writing and Drama. During and after her studies she acted in several student short films, and even did musical stage productions as a conceptualiser, song writer, co-director and actress. Having worked as a runner in film production, Tendai gained experience in editing, and on-set management. With radio production skills training, she has also published scripts on national radio.

In this candid conversation, Tendai shares that she had only landed her first TV role in 2016 after three years of constant auditioning. She continued to get TV projects, although much of her roles as a Zimbabwean woman weren’t lead roles.

Tendai’s defining moment in her career arrived when she was cast as lead for the 2017 Zimbabwean independent film, Cook Off directed by Tomas Brickhill. This feel-good romantic comedy film about a single mother whose life is turned upside down when her son enters her into a reality TV cooking competition.

Struggle and success are just two of the many things people can relate to. Spread across our lifetime and in varying degrees, we all have our own struggles and successes that are instrumental in telling our story. This week we revisit our conversation with the phenomenal and unapologetically authentic Vivian Kaye, the Founder and CEO of KinkyCurlyYaki. What does it take to build a business by yourself from the ground up? How does being ‘real’ fit in this hyper filtered world? Discover how Vivian’s authenticity and grit became her brand and why she’s passionate about sharing her (not-so) secret to success with the world.

Tombi was raised in an underdeveloped part of Zimbabwe. Her mother was a part-time housekeeper and her father was a builder. She grew up helping her parents and brothers, and studying at the same time. Having witnessed the life of her mother’s employers, including hearing the stories of their child who was going to college at that time, Tombi was inspired and had her own dream of becoming a doctor someday.

“Most of the time our schools don’t teach us to know (what you want to do) because they expect you to just figure it out in your head. Honestly, it doesn’t come out that way. You need exposure to know what you want to do.” - Ntombizodwa Makuyana

Tombi became a MasterCard Foundation Scholar, and through this support she has been able to realize her dreams and goals to get an education while discovering her passion for science. She was able to pursue her studies in Arizona State University’s School of Molecular Sciences with a degree in medicinal biochemistry. Tombi also has her sights set on possibly pursuing her MD-PhD.

Aside from teaching middle school at Boys & Girls Clubs of East Valley, Tombi is also doing research to understand how the immune response can be used to detect and alter cancer development. 

Tombi co-founded Female Dreamers, a project in Zimbabwe that aims to empower girls and women to be economically independent by providing them quality education and teaching them poultry-rearing skills. The initiative won several awards including the Changemaker Award at ASU in 2018, Venture Devils 2018, the Millennium Fellowship with United Nations award 2018, the Pitchfork Award 2019 for Global Change and Global Impact Project, and was presented at the Clinton Global Initiative 2018.  

In this conversation, Tombi talks about her early life and education, pursuing her degree in Biochemistry, and her dream to go to be a doctor. She also talks about the mentality of some cultures and societies that has limited expectations of women, the valuable skills that parents need to teach their children, and some practical skills she wished her parents taught her growing up.

“Incomplete information really kills us as children, because we end up having to explore it on our own. And exploring sometimes comes with mistakes, some of them you have to pay for the rest of your life.” - Ntombizodwa Makuyana

“If we don’t know about our past, we can’t learn from it, and we can’t also be inspired to effect a similar change today.” - Tamara Mariam Dawit

Tamara Mariam Dawit is a producer and director based in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. She runs Gobez Media, producing Ethiopian film, TV, digital and music content. She has produced content for CBC, Bravo, MTV, Radio Canada, Discovery, and NHK, among other networks. She directed the short film Grandma Knows Best, and her latest feature documentary Finding Sally, released in April, 2020.

In this conversation, Tamara talks about why she chooses to work on projects with some aspect of social justice and human rights her. Tamara was raised in Canada, but it wasn’t until her 30s when she moved back to her home country that she had stumbled upon a photo of her aunt Sally. The family was hesitant to talk about Sally, but she was slowly able to convince her grandmother and aunts to share her story. This prompted Tamara’s desire to dig deep and share the forgotten story of her aunt in the form of a documentary film, Finding Sally.

In Finding Sally, Tamara tells the incredible story of her aunt who  became a communist rebel with the Ethiopian people’s Revolutionary Party at the age of 23, despite being an aristocrat. Idealistic and in love, Sally got caught up in her country’s revolutionary fervour and landed on the military government’s most wanted list. She went underground and her family never saw her again.

Tamara hopes that Finding Sally can be a plea for freedom of speech and critical thinking, and also an indictment of silence in general in Ethiopia. She also talks about the film industry in Ethiopia, the challenges of being a filmmaker, and shares valuable advice to aspiring filmmakers. 

f you look up ‘resilience’ in the dictionary, you’ll likely find a picture of Nomndeni Mdakhi next to it!  

Nomndeni is a serial entrepreneur who has had more than her fair share of ups and downs.  But one thing is clear - she has made it her mission to inspire and uplift others, and in particular African women.  

Nomndeni is the Founder of Agenda Women - a platform focused on bringing women together to learn and grow.  She is also the Edits Communications, which is a PR, Branding and Talent Marketing Agency based in Johannesburg.  

While most people are familiar with the vivacious, go-getting Nomndeni, few know the tragedy and deep loss she has experienced in her life.  

Nomndeni was raised in a large extended family. Her grandfather built a home with 24 rooms to keep the close knit family together.  She grew up living with her grandparents, uncles, and aunts around her. Unfortunately, at a young age, she experienced a series of losses in the family. She witnessed members of her family pass away from different causes, one after the other in a short span of time. 

 “It’s not often that this story comes up, and it’s such a significant part of my story and narrative. It shaped a lot of who I am. It shaped a lot on how I see the world.” - Nomndeni Mdakhi 

In this very candid conversation, Nomndeni shares how despite experiencing so much grief, loss, and trauma, she is still able to have such a positive outlook on life.  She also talks about how she turned to therapy as part of her healing.  

“Sometimes I feel like we really fight battles that we don’t need to fight, and we forget the essence of human existence, which is love.” - Nomndeni Mdakhi 

Now a successful entrepreneur and mother of two, Nomndeni talks about being a working mum  while raising her children, and how her perspective on parenting has changed through the seasons of her life. She also talks about how marriage and friendships all played important roles in the different chapters of her life, and how she was able to move on when they ended.   

“We need to be intentional about how we show up for the different aspects of who we are.” - Nomndeni Mdakhi 

Nomndeni also talks about why she left the corporate world to pursue entrepreneurship. Her first business venture in 2009 was a DJing school with her longtime friend DJ Zinhle. 

“I really believe that every experience I have gone through and will go through is God showing me something. You will never understand someone else’s inability to succeed, to get themselves out of a bad marriage, to get themselves out of grief, until you have been there.” - Nomndeni Mdakhi 

“Guaranteed, an African child will always be an achiever. I would just say that instead of defining what that achievement for them should be, allow them to discover that.” - Phyllis Mugadza

Phyllis was born and raised in Harare, Zimbabwe. She was raised in a family that placed high importance on education.  She was a natural academic achiever -- the ‘forever head girl’ as her peers refer to her.  At a young age, Phyllis’ mother would take her to her office to allow her to experience a workplace environment.  She’d even give her small tasks to do.  All of this instilled confidence in Phyllis, and she says it taught her valuable life lessons that she carries to this day.

“It’s not just about achieving great grades, going to school just to pass that exam, and getting all your A stars.  You have to become a well-rounded individual.” - Phyllis Mugadza

Constantly taking initiative and actively looking for opportunities for her academic growth and education, she was able to join an academic enrichment program through Yale University called Yale Young African Scholars (YYAS). This experience exposed her to the liberal arts, which she took an interest in.  Phyllis was also part of the Yale Young Global Scholars (YYGS), where she got to visit Yale University for the first time.

Phyllis shares how her high school education prepared her by giving her opportunities to lead. She talks about the importance of extracurricular activities, and taking initiative.  She says this helped to expose her to many amazing opportunities.

“These gaps in our education system, this lack of opportunities… I began to see those gaps as opportunities. It taught me a lot about taking initiative.” - Phyllis Mugadza

Currently in her junior year at Yale University, Phyllis is actively involved in helping new scholars. In this episode, she talks about why she chose to study engineering, her journey so far as a university student, and how she found her voice as an African woman at Yale.

Phyllis also shares her thoughts on the challenges of being an academic achiever facing the pressure of high standards and high expectations, and the impact of this pressure on mental health.

“Allow your children to change their paths and routes. There’s going to be a constant redefining of their purpose. The more they’re exposed to, the more they discover what they feel they should be doing in this world.” - Phyllis Mugadza

These recent weeks have been challenging for us as black people. Regardless of where in the world you are, it has been difficult for us not to see and not to be impacted by what has gone on in America, in Canada, and what is going on in the world at large. 

And a lot of the conversation that is being had is around racism, and in this particular moment in time, I understand that all lives matter. I do understand that. But the focus at this particular moment in time, whether it be in America and Canada and other countries around the world is Black Lives Matter. And I say, ‘Black Lives Matter’. But it doesn't mean that only black lives matter. All lives matter. But at this point in time, at this point in history, we are discussing the fact that black lives do matter.