On this episode of The Neurodivergent Bible Teaching Podcast, I talk about how we can navigate seasons where we’re waiting for our neurodivergent needs to be met. What are practical ways we can stay grounded in God’s character during seasons like this?
Transcript:
0:02 - 0:38
Podcast Intro:
Hello, it's Denea your host of the Neurodivergent Bible Teaching Podcast. This podcast is dedicated to helping you understand how to study the Bible. I'm Denea. I'm neurodivergent. I'm autistic. I have ADHD and OCD, and I know what it's like to struggle to understand how to study the Bible, let alone also honoring my brain while doing it. I've learned a few things through seminary, um, through life, and I want to share those things with you.
0:38 - 1:14
In this podcast, you will hear all about, um, studying techniques, some Bible studies so you can understand how to apply those techniques, some neurodivergent encouragement, and just some ways that I'm learning to honor the way that God has created my brain. I'm so happy that you're here. Let's get started.
Episode Begins:
Hello, hello, it's Denea, your host of the Neurodivergent Bible Teaching Podcast.
1:15 - 1:50
And I hope you're doing well. Definitely, I, I hope that you are giving yourself grace. Um, and I hope that you are delighting in whatever joy comes your way. I'm currently, uh, drinking a matcha that has some non-dairy, non-gluten, pumpkin spice flavored, low-toxic creamer, oat milk creamer.
1:51 - 2:24
And I know to some of you listening, you're like, "Oh, my gosh, that actually sounds pretty gross." But about a few years ago, I gave up coffee, and so green tea, matcha, that's kind of the only caffeine, you know, that I get. And in case y'all don't know this about me, I love everything fall related. Um, give me all of the pumpkin spice. Give me give me all of the cinnamon, apple flake.
2:24 - 2:54
Give it. I want it all. And, um, I was like, "You know what? I'm just, I'm just gonna treat myself to just this delight, this little joy." And so whatever that is for you, I hope that you lean into it. Um, as a disclaimer, we are still on summer break, and so that also means that our son is home. And so every now and then you might hear some vocal stimming. You might hear some loud noises on this podcast episode.
2:55 - 3:35
Do not be alarmed. I just want to give you, um, the heads-up. Today's episode was kind of, is kind of inspired by me, um... So I'm currently, I just started studying, uh, Deuteronomy again. And in studying this, I'm, like, in the, I think, the second chapter, so it's the very, very beginning of it. I'm studying this book again, and I noticed this pattern of, like, the Israelites complaining.
3:36 - 4:09
Um, they're worried about their provision, being provided for. They're worried about their needs. And I noticed that pattern, that when they do that, Moses often recalls what God has done as, as a way to remind them of the faithfulness of God's provision and God being provider, it's who he is, and that they can trust that.
4:11 - 4:42
And I'll be honest with you, I don't know how my mind connected connected this. Um, I think that, I definitely feel like I was kind of led by the Holy Spirit to think along these lines of just as neurodivergents, how we often kind of feel that way, right? Like, we, we have needs, very valid needs. We, we need support. We deserve support.
4:43 - 5:16
And what do you do when you're in a season, and a season, when I say that, it could be a week. A season, it could be three months. A season could be 10 years. What do you do when you're in a season of just worrying, constant overwhelming, I'm talking anxiety-filled, maybe even dread-filled worry about getting your neurodivergent needs provided for?
5:17 - 5:50
Like, fro- from a faith perspective, what are some steps that we can take in those seasons, in everyday moments when that overwhelm, when that anxiety, when that very valid worry takes over? And I think one thing that I've learned, 'cause I've, I've definitely, and I may or may not have shared, um, this in the, the podcast.
5:51 - 6:26
I've, I've shared it on, like, my Substack and social media. But I'm somebody who is always feeling overwhelmed. Like, always. I've, my therapist asked me the other day, she was like, "Dené, can you tell me about a time when you didn't feel overwhelmed?" I was like, I've ma- I guess elementary school, like I've been overwhelmed. I have a vivid memory of feeling overwhelmed in middle school, um, like changing classes.
6:28 - 6:58
And, you know, and, and the bell goes off, and then you have to, like, gather your stuff, and then you, you know, am, am I gonna be able to gather my stuff in time? Oh, wait a minute, I need to use the bathroom. Oh, wait a minute, I need to go to the locker. Oh my gosh, I need to go by the front office to drop that thing off. And then, like, I f- I think you had to do all of that within the span of 10 minutes. Like, I, I very vividly remember th- just feeling overwhelmed by that, that sensory, that quick transition.
6:59 - 7:38
Um, and I was like, I, I constantly feel overwhelmed. And, and so I'm just trying to figure out what, how, how to support that. Um, I've been praying about it. I have called a few different organizations, gotten on wait lists for, for certain things that could be supportive. And I think that as far as being neurodivergent, you know, this world is very much still learning how to support us, and that often leaves us with a gap, right, of waiting.
7:39 - 8:10
And in that waiting, what, what do we do? How do we strengthen our faith? We often have to overcome waiting through inaccessible resources. Uh, because just because there's a resource, you know, if it's not accessible, it's, it's not really supportive, right? Like, if there's a resource that costs thousands and thousands of dollars, it's not accessible. Most people only in certain tax brackets can afford that.
8:10 - 8:44
We often have to overcome those challenges. We often have to co- overcome, um, organizations that do support us, they're overworked, right, and lack of funding. So that means, uh, usually means, uh, that we're on a wait list, a long wait list. And so what... How, how do we, as Christians who are also neurodivergent, whose needs deserve to be met, whose, whose needs should be met, how do we strengthen our faith during those tough times?
8:46 - 9:24
And one thing I noticed just in, in studying Deuter- Deuteronomy, and it, I mean, it honestly happens in the, um, in the other books as well, but what... I've just noticed a pattern of the Israelites feeling worried, and then Moses reminding them of what God has done for them. And I think one of the first practical steps for us, um, is to, you know, in those moments, I think it's, it's okay to go to God and lament.
9:26 - 9:58
And we have to understand that l- lamenting, uh... It, lament and complaining are, are two different things. Like, it's a heart pos- the heart posture is different. Where complaining, which in full transparent, in full transparency, I have, I have had both heart postures. I have gone to God complaining, um, with a heart posture that's like, "God, I don't... If you would've just worked this out, how, you know...
9:58 - 10:28
Like, this is how I would've worked it out. Like, I don't understand why you didn't do that. This is how it should've been." You know, having that heart posture as if I'm in control versus lament, which I've, um, again, I've, I've been on... I've done both. Um, lamenting and saying, "God, I am just filled with grief, anger, sadness. I don't get it. I feel angry that this didn't work out. I feel so irritated.
10:28 - 11:09
I feel, I'm grieved that this happened, and yet I know you are God." Right? Those are two different heart postures. I think the first very practical step is for us to know that it is okay for us to lament and go to God about the needs that are not being met. And I think this is so important for, for us to articulate, especially as Christians who are neurodivergent, because there is such a shame narrative, unfortunately, around being neurodivergent.
11:10 - 11:41
You see it sometimes in church culture. You definitely see it from the world. And when we internalize that, which I did a episode a few episodes ago, um, about how, how I've internalized that and how I kind of had to, like, work, work through uprooting that. Um, when we internalize it, we start to hide certain things from God about being neurodivergent, right? Like, we start to think we cannot go to Him with those things, when that is not true.
11:42 - 12:14
Um, God wants to hear about those things, and I think it's also important for us to under- understand that God actually delights when our neurodivergent needs are met. And so I think that's one of the reasons why it is so important for us to lament and go to God and tell Him that we're disappointed that we're still, you know, having to make phone calls to insurance, that we're still on this wait list, that we don't understand why He's working it out this way, and yet He is God.
12:14 - 12:46
I think it is so important because it helps us articulate our neurodivergent experiences to God. And that is so important, especially if you have internalized shame, internalized ableism around being neurodivergent from church culture or from this world. Talk to God about your neurodivergent experience in general, but also talk to God and lament about the frustrations that you have about your needs not being met, about you not having the support that you need.
12:48 - 13:26
And then the next thing that, that is important, I think, is reminding ourselves of what God has done. Now, this is not bypassing, you know, our reality. You know, like, sometimes you, you hear people being like, "Oh, well, you know, I don't, um, you know, I'm... I don't know. I'm feeling very sad, but hey, you know, God is good. God is faithful. I won't complain. Hey." And it's almost like a reaction. While those things are true, their reaction or response, what, what it's rooted in is important, right?
13:26 - 13:59
Like, those, those statements are true, but if it's rooted in bypassing our reality, we have to understand that God doesn't want us to bypass how we feel, our reality, our situation, our circumstance. We can't, again, lament and talk to God about our frustrations. This reminder of what God has done, it's more so, I think, in recognition of, hey, my needs are not being met right now.
14:02 - 14:54
But because of who God is and because of what he has done in the past for me, for someone else, I can trust his character. I have no idea what's gonna happen in the future. I d- I have no idea how this need is going to be supported. I don't, I don't know how it's going to come. I have no idea. I have no idea, but what I have to trust in is God's character, that either he's going to provide exactly what I need or he's gonna provide me with the endurance, or he's gonna provide me with the encouragement, or he's gonna provide me with, um, with the confirmation through, through nature that he sees me, that he know- Like, he's going to provide me a confirmation through his word.
14:55 - 15:39
We can trust that God provides. We don't know how, but we can trust it. And I think when we remind ourselves of what God has done, when it's rooted in that, it's totally different than bypassing our reality. So one thing that I frequently remind myself of, of just, uh, what God has done, um, is just my sobriety journey. Like, there was a time, oh, man, when I wanted to be sober from alcohol so bad, and I was just like, "I- it's impossible." Like, "I don't, I don't actually see how, how that would even happen." Like, I, I didn't...
15:39 - 16:21
Like, it just did... It, it didn't seem like something that could happen for me. And I'm here, like, three, three and a half years sober from alcohol. Like, I remind myself of that miracle. Has it been easy? Absolutely not. But it's still a miracle that God performed, that God is performing in me. Um, I might think about how he's shown up for someone else, or sometimes, you know, I'll just, I'll just be watching the birds, and I'll be like, " There's God providing again." You know, like, that, that is who he is.
16:21 - 16:54
He even provides for the sparrow, right? He even provides for the birds of the air. There, there he is again, being provider. And so, uh, just get maybe one or two things that, that God has done for you or for someone else just to remind your soul you might not know how this is gonna work out. You don't know, right? Right? Like, we, we don't know. We do not have that capability as humans.
16:56 - 17:36
But one thing we can trust is God's character and that he provides. We don't know what that provision is going to look like, but we can trust that even when our neurodivergent needs are not being met, we can trust in God's provision. And I wanna say this, too, that that is a very... This is, this is hard, what I'm saying. And it's tough because it's, it kind of is asking us to live in the tension of realizing, hey, I have needs that deserve to be met, that should be met, that are not being met.
17:36 - 18:06
I'm in need. And yet, God, I know it would be so easy for you to do this, right? Like, that is a very tough tension to be in. That's a very tough spot to be in. So while you're doing this, while you're trying, while you're lamenting, and while you're trying to remind yourself of what God has done, if you find yourself feeling frustrated with anything that comes up, if you find yourself maybe feeling disappointed because you're like, "Oh, my gosh.
18:06 - 18:42
I feel so ungrateful," go to God with those feelings, too, because God knows how tough it is for us to live in the tension of being in need, right, having lack, and yet recognizing that he's sovereign and that he's God. He knows that is a tough place to be in. So go to God with whatever comes up. Be gentle and compassionate with yourself if you're feeling frustrated or ungrateful, or if the exercise just makes you feel icky.
18:43 - 19:19
Go to God with, with whatever comes up, and he can handle it. And not only that, when we do that, God meets us with compassion. But also, when we, when we go to God with that, that tough stuff like that, I find, and I'm speaking just for me, I think that that nurtures h- my, like, having a personal relationship with God. When I go to him with that stuff that I don't, I wouldn't tell anybody with the feelings that I have or when I'm like, like, "Ugh, I don't...
19:19 - 19:51
I'm, I'm having conflicting feelings right now. Like, I don't know what to do with this," and I go to God with the hard stuff like that, it just... And I find that he s- uh, and I'm reminded that he still loves me, that he still cares for me, that he's still here, um, that he's not frustrated with me. I'm like, "Oh, my goodness. This is agape love." Right? It strengthens how... It strengthens our personal relationship with God. So I just wanted to remind you, you don't, you don't have to hide that from him.
19:51 - 20:23
You can, oh, you can go to him with, with the tough stuff, too, even while you're trying to do this exercise, while you're trying to lament, while you're trying to, to remind your, your soul of the things that God has done. Go to him with whatever comes up. I love you, and I hope that you take care of yourself, and I hope that you know that God is a safe place for you to lament, and he's a safe place for you to go to with all of the hard and difficult things.
20:24 - 20:55
Uh, as always, the transcript will be in the show notes. Um, the foundational biblical interpretation hermeneutics course, um, is actually finished. I don't even know... I don't even think I talked about that on the podcast because I finished it, y'all. I finished it right before I had surgery for endometriosis. I don't even know if I talked about that on this podcast because it, like... I knew it was coming, but, like, you know, you have to get ready for surgery, and you have to buy your recovery stuff.
20:55 - 21:34
But then also, it was summer break, and, like, I'm trying to coordinate things for our son to still have a good summer break. And then also, it, like, I was recovering over his birthday, so I was still trying to recover that. And then I'm trying to, um... And we're in the editing phase, or actually revising phase of This Mind of Mine, the book, the devotional that I'm writing, um, to help to kind of guide other Christian neurodivergents on how to embrace our identity through Christ and use scripture to navigate shame, which, oh, my goodness, I don't even know if I've talked about that.
21:34 - 22:07
I will link that in the show notes as well. Y'all, just if anybody is listening who has chronic illness, if, you know how, like, that can be with just things, ah, constantly coming up, and you still have to do life, right? Like, you s- you still have to do life. And so, um, I pr- um, there's a chance that I might not have talked about that book. I will possibly do an episode about it. Um, but I will link that information about the book.
22:07 - 22:24
I will link the, uh... The transcript will also be in the show notes, but I will also link the Bible course, the Bible studying course that's available, um, in the show notes as well. All right. I love you. Take care of yourself, and I will talk to you next time.
Bible Study Course: https://www.deneamarable.com/foundational-biblical-interpretation-and-hermeneutics-course
This Mind of Mine Devotional: https://www.instagram.com/p/DbUQI8ekV35/?igsi=MWpsbHBxaHJlb3g5bg==