For many weeks in the beginning of this experiment, I was tumbling and twisting and rolling inside a tornado of my thoughts. “I am confused.  I am sad. I am unhappy.” I believed I was those thoughts. I identified myself with them, as them.

After several weeks of meditation,  I felt like I was sucked out of that whirlwind and put right on the edge of it. I still felt the pull into this crazy vortex of thoughts, but I started to question – "Wait a minute. AM I confused? AM I confusion?"

Then after a while, I moved far enough away from the chaos that I was able to observe my thoughts. It was similar to sitting in a movie theater. What a shit show!  No wonder I’ve been confused and depressed. Look at this thing!  It’s crazy, it’s insanity….and I love it....because it’s mine.  That’s when I realized that I am not my thoughts, I am something else. Over time, I found myself sitting with the Me behind me. the Divine One, seeing things from Its perspective. That’s when I realized this is the Intelligence that breathes me, that beats my heart and it has nothing to do with the mind that wants to see how many people liked my post on Facebook! 

It’s important to learn how to look at things, because the mind loves to present life to us through its own filters and those filters are usually distorted.  Meditation allowed me to distance myself far enough away from my thinking that I finally understood that there may be confusion but I am not confused. Truly a transformational moment.

From the book, "The Confusion Experiment."

Some amazing things happened while I meditated - the lava lamp stuff I talk about in the book, the tingling sensation in my head, feeling like I was snatched out of time and space - but so much more happened afterwards. My morning hour of meditation gave me realizations throughout the rest of the day, no matter what I was doing. Answers came quickly. Lost items were found easily. Things flowed without my effort and the insights I had around personal growth issues that had been plaguing me for years popped up in my conscious mind as nuggets of perspective and insight that caused one healing after another. 

From the book, "The Confusion Experiment."

Whatever the word is for you, Universe, God, Allah, Higher Power, The Thing Itself, there's a You behind you. there's a Mind behind your mind and thank goodness for that! This is the Mind that knows all because It is All. I like to call it "the Intelligence that holds all the planets in place." This is the Mind that communicates via our intuition. It knows stuff and wants to share! Meditation connects you with this Mind and the beneftis are life changing. Get to know this Mind as quickly as possible because it's awesome. 

From the book, "The Confusion Experiment."

Not to say that there aren't different teachings that are valid and worthwhile because I too teach different "types" of meditation. However, I now believe that there is no necessary method. If you think there's a method that delays the experience. "I have to go find the method because I don't know what is it. Somebody has to teach me." No. The method of meditation is get a chair. Sit down. Set the timer on your phone for 60 minutes or six. Close your eyes. Get the popcorn and watch the show. That's it. And the next day, do it again. Then, when you find yourself attached to your thoughts and suddenly you're shopping in Costco or having an imaginary conversation with someone in your head, come back to the breath. Always come back to the breath.

Did you know that the breath is the only thing that can interrupt the autonomic nervous sytem? Do you know that we're wired for "fight or flight" and the breath is the only thing that tells the brain it's not in crisis? Do you know that when you take a deep breath you just communicated to your mind that everything is OK?

For example, when you get a message from your boss or your friend that says, “We need to talk,” your brain goes into its ‘fight or flight’ response. If you take a conscious breath, you’re telling your mind, “There’s no charging elephant!” This is so important because the breath halts the secretion of adrenaline and cortisol hormones that were never meant to run non-stop in your body. They were designed to serve your system in short term doses in that small window of “fight or flight." Now however, we’re so overstimulated that everything is perceived as a threat and the constant secretion of these hormones is depleting our immune system. This is why they say, “Stress kills.” So breathe.

The mind’s job is to think. It’s like a manufacturing warehouse, churning out thoughts all day and all night. When we go to sleep, the mind is still creating thoughts - your thoughts, my thoughts, everybody’s thoughts. I believe they swirl around at night while we’re asleep, waiting. Then when you wake up – sometimes before you even open your eyes – they come rushing in! Thoughts, thoughts and more thoughts! So meditation is NOT about stopping thoughts. They’re here to stay. Also, meditation is very quick with the impact it has on the body. Though I left Kyle Cease's retreat and returned to Anchorage feeling very depressed, by Day 8 of my experiment I was feeling better. My mind was still blown to pieces, but I noted in that video that I felt better.

From the book, "The Confusion Experiment."

For those who think meditation is about stopping your thoughts, I would say that the majority of my time meditating is filled with thoughts. What changed is my relationship to them.

From the book, "The Confusion Experiment."

Meditation is about the practice of sitting with yourself, which is actually very difficult for most people to do because we’re not comfortable being with ourselves.  We’re also very addicted to stimulation and the idea of having none for an hour - let alone 15 minutes - is terrifying for most people. We’ve also convinced ourselves that we don’t have the time. That’s why meditation is a practice. By doing it everyday, you strengthen your meditation muscle and become more comfortable simply being with yourself.

From the book, "The Confusion Experiment."

Welcome to The Confusion Experiment podcast! This short introduction tells you everything you need to know about the show and the special three part mini-series, "The Findings" that kicks things off. Thanks for listening. Enjoy.