What if battling porn urges is actually keeping you stuck?

What if the urge isn't your enemy, but a part of you actually just trying to help?

What if freedom isn't won through fighting, but through befriending?

In this episode, I sit down with Jenna Riemersma, bestselling author, licensed therapist, and Internal Family Systems (IFS) expert.

I was so excited to have Jenna on the podcast, as her work has had a huge impact on me and my life. Her book, Altogether You was life-changing for me, and we also discuss her new book, Move Toward, which takes revolutionary IFS principles and distills them into a simple, but radical 3-step tool anyone can use to completely change the way we approach our urges.

What you'll learn:

• Why the parts inside you that drive porn use are actually good (even though the behavior isn't)
• The difference between being the "conductor" vs. letting parts "drive the bus"
• How to turn toward the urge with curiosity and compassion instead of battling and judgment
• The 3-step practice begin befriending your urges instead of battling them
• Why the next time you feel the urge, you should hold it in your hand

If you're tired of fighting and ready for a different approach, this episode is for you.

⁠Order Jenna's new book, Move Toward⁠

Jenna's website:

⁠https://jennariemersma.com/⁠

Jenna's free guided exercises

⁠https://insighttimer.com/jennariemersma⁠

Take the next step:

📱Get the Frontline Toolkit app - ⁠⁠⁠heisfree.me/toolkit⁠⁠⁠

🗺️ Download the free PATH Plan - ⁠⁠⁠heisfree.me/plan⁠⁠⁠

📖 Download the free Missing Piece Guide - ⁠⁠⁠heisfree.me/guide⁠⁠⁠

Have you ever noticed that the harder you fight a porn urge, the more intense it seems to get? Do you ever feel like you have been in a battle against porn for years and somehow keep losing ground?

What if I told you that treating porn urges like a battle is actually one of the main reasons you are still stuck, and that the guys who get free are the ones who stop fighting altogether?

In this episode you are going to discover why resisting and battling porn urges actually makes them stronger, and why everything you have been told about fighting harder and using more willpower is working against you.

You are also going to hear one of the most helpful analogies for understanding how to handle urges effectively: the toddler tantrum. It will completely reframe how you think about the moment the urge hits.

After listening to this episode you are going to walk away with a completely new way of thinking about porn urges and a clear, practical plan for what to do instead of fighting when the urge shows up.

Take the next step:

📱Get the Frontline Toolkit app - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠heisfree.me/toolkit⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

🗺️ Download the free PATH Plan - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠heisfree.me/plan⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

📖 Download the free Missing Piece Guide - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠heisfree.me/guide⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Have you noticed that you tend to shame and beat yourself up about your porn habit? Do you feel showing yourself some compassion is light years away?

What if I told you that shaming yourself is actually keeping you stuck, and stirring in some self-compassion is actually key to paving the way to lasting freedom?

In this episode you are going to discover why self-compassion is one of the most overlooked and most powerful ingredients in the freedom journey, and how the level of compassion you show yourself is directly connected to how free you will become.

You are also going to hear a simple three word phrase you can start using today to begin making the shift from shame to compassion, both when urges hit and after a slip.

After listening to this episode you are going to walk away understanding exactly why shame keeps you stuck in the porn cycle and how to break it with a tool so simple you can use it in seconds. This one shift can change everything about how you pursue freedom.

Take the next step:

📱Get the Frontline Toolkit app - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠heisfree.me/toolkit⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

🗺️ Download the free PATH Plan - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠heisfree.me/plan⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

📖 Download the free Missing Piece Guide - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠heisfree.me/guide⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Have you ever felt like you can only make progress on your freedom journey when an urge actually shows up? Do you ever wonder if there is a way to move toward freedom on the quiet days, the days when you feel totally fine?

In this episode you are going to discover a simple 3 minute daily practice made up of two tools: your Power Reasons and Mental Rehearsal. You'll learn exactly how to use them every single morning to fuel your freedom tank, sharpen your skills, and dramatically increase the chances you will actually use your plan when the urge hits.

After listening to this episode you are going to walk away with a morning routine you can start tomorrow that takes less than 3 minutes, works on urge-free days just as powerfully as urge days, and builds the kind of man you actually want to become. Freedom is not just a response. It is a daily practice. And now you have one.

Take the next step:

📱Get the Frontline Toolkit app - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠heisfree.me/toolkit⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

🗺️ Download the free PATH Plan - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠heisfree.me/plan⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

📖 Download the free Missing Piece Guide - ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠heisfree.me/guide⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Have you ever felt a porn urge hit out of nowhere in the evening and had absolutely no idea what to do in that moment except white knuckle your way through it or give in? Have you ever wished someone would just walk you through exactly what to do step by step the next time temptation hits?

In this episode you are going to get exactly that. A simple, practical, four step plan to implement the next time you feel tempted — whether that is tonight, tomorrow morning, or next week. You are going to hear exactly what to do in the first 10 seconds after the urge hits, what to do for the next 10 minutes, and the one final step that most guys skip but that makes all the difference in building real momentum toward lasting freedom.

After listening to this episode you are going to walk away with a clear, actionable plan you can use with your very next urge. No willpower required. No complicated strategies. Just four simple steps that take seconds to start and build a skill that gets easier every single time you practice it.

Take the next step:

📱Get the Frontline Toolkit app - ⁠⁠⁠⁠heisfree.me/toolkit⁠⁠⁠⁠

🗺️ Download the free PATH Plan - ⁠⁠⁠⁠heisfree.me/plan⁠⁠⁠⁠

📖 Download the free Missing Piece Guide - ⁠⁠⁠⁠heisfree.me/guide⁠⁠⁠⁠

Have you been doing all the right things on your freedom journey and still finding yourself back in the same painful cycle? Have you ever wondered if there is a piece of the puzzle you are missing that nobody has told you about yet?

In this episode you are going to discover the five essential pieces every guy needs to have in place if he wants long term freedom from porn. You are going to hear what each piece is, why leaving even one of them out is costing you the freedom you are after, and exactly what Dan did for each one on his own journey out of over 20 years of struggle.

After listening to this episode you are going to walk away knowing exactly which of the five pieces you need to focus on right now. You will have a clear, practical next step for each one, and for the first time you will be able to see the full picture of what long term freedom actually requires. This is one of those episodes that makes everything click.

Take the next step:

📱Get the Frontline Toolkit app - ⁠⁠⁠heisfree.me/toolkit⁠⁠⁠

🗺️ Download the free PATH Plan - ⁠⁠⁠heisfree.me/plan⁠⁠⁠

📖 Download the free Missing Piece Guide - ⁠⁠⁠heisfree.me/guide⁠⁠⁠

Have you been trying to quit porn for years, doing all the right things, and still finding yourself back in the same painful cycle? Have you ever wondered if there is one piece of the puzzle that nobody has told you about yet?

In this episode you are going to hear a raw and honest conversation from an interview on the PSR Podcast with Jonathan Daugherty. You are going to hear the full story of a 20 year porn addiction, everything that was tried along the way, why most of it was helpful but still not enough, and the one practice that finally made lasting freedom possible. You are also going to discover the other essential tools that make freedom not just possible but sustainable, including mental rehearsal and having powerful reasons in place.

After listening to this episode you are going to walk away with a clear understanding of what the missing piece most likely is for you too, and exactly what to do about it. If you have been stuck in the cycle for years and feel like you have tried everything, this conversation is going to give you a fresh perspective and a real path forward.

Jonathan Daugherty's resources: Bebroken.org

Take the next step:

📱Get the Frontline Toolkit app - ⁠⁠⁠heisfree.me/toolkit⁠⁠⁠

🗺️ Download the free PATH Plan - ⁠⁠⁠heisfree.me/plan⁠⁠⁠

📖 Download the free Missing Piece Guide - ⁠⁠⁠heisfree.me/guide⁠⁠⁠

Have you ever wondered why quitting porn feels so impossibly difficult even when you desperately want to stop? Have you ever asked yourself why you keep going back to the same painful cycle no matter how committed you are to being done with it once and for all?

In this episode you are going to take a simple 60 second test that will show you exactly what is keeping you stuck. Not as a general concept but as a personal, lived experience that you will feel and understand in a completely new way. You are going to discover that the real difficulty in quitting porn is not stopping the behavior itself, but what to do with the feeling you're left with when you choose not view porn. And you are going to hear exactly what to do with that.

After listening to this episode you are going to walk away with one simple, powerful experiment to try with your very next urge that will reveal your personal roadblocks to freedom in 60 seconds. You're going to understand why the key to lasting freedom is not outside of you but inside, and you are going to have a clear, practical plan for what to do when you come face to face with what is actually keeping you stuck. And the great news is, it IS something you can face.

Resources mentioned in this episode:Jenna Riemersma's new book Move Toward

Take the next step:

📱Get the Frontline Toolkit app - ⁠⁠heisfree.me/toolkit⁠⁠

🗺️ Download the free PATH Plan - ⁠⁠heisfree.me/plan⁠⁠

📖 Download the free Missing Piece Guide - ⁠⁠heisfree.me/guide⁠⁠

Have you ever considered that the way you pursue freedom from porn could actually be building some of the most valuable life skills you will ever develop? What if quitting porn was not just about getting free, but about becoming a fundamentally better, more emotionally healthy version of yourself in the process?

In this episode you are going to discover what happens when you switch from the old way of pursuing freedom — fighting urges and drowning in shame — to a completely new and more effective approach. You are going to hear how making this one switch not only accelerates your freedom from porn, but automatically begins building two priceless life skills that will serve you in every relationship and every area of your life for the rest of your life.

After listening to this episode you are going to walk away understanding exactly what those two skills are, why they are so valuable, and how simply implementing the PATH Plan in response to every urge begins installing them automatically. No extra work required!

Take the next step:

📱Get the Frontline Toolkit app - ⁠heisfree.me/toolkit⁠

🗺️ Download the free PATH Plan - ⁠heisfree.me/plan⁠

📖 Download the free Missing Piece Guide - ⁠heisfree.me/guide⁠

Have you tried everything to quit porn — the filters, the accountability, the programs — and you're still not free? Have you ever wondered if there's something missing from your plan, some piece of the puzzle that nobody is talking about that would actually make the difference?

In this episode we are diving into the five tools that make up the Frontline Toolkit — the complete system to help you prepare for and process every urge. You are going to hear exactly what each tool does, why each one is non-negotiable, and how they work together as a complete frontline strategy so that no matter what the urge looks like when it hits, you have a plan.

After listening to this episode you are going to walk away knowing exactly what to do the next time an urge hits — and every time after that. No more white-knuckling it. No more starting over at zero. Just five practical tools that get you frontline ready, so that temptation is no longer the roadblock preventing lasting, exhilarating freedom.

Take the next step:

📱Get the Frontline Toolkit app - heisfree.me/toolkit

🗺️ Download the free PATH Plan - heisfree.me/plan

📖 Download the free Missing Piece Guide - heisfree.me/guide