What is real manhood? Today's guest has an answer. Eric Browning is a man, father, leader, and legacy bearer. In 2014 he forged the father-son ministry Sand to Stone as a way to provide fathers the environment and tools to communicate biblical manhood, and sons, a clear pathway to embrace and mark their journey. Browning uses a combination of father led outdoor adventure, competition, contemplation, and ceremony to set the stage for men to raise up future men, for Gods kingdom.

Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)

Expanded Notes:

• Our earthly Dads form our earliest images and understanding of God
• When manhood isn't clearly defined boys don't know what they're aiming for
• The seed for future ministry was planted well before it came to be; much of it nurtured by a fellow man willing to pour into Eric
• The ministry was really born from a desire to do the right thing, be a great dad, and raise a future man
• Ministry name, Sand 2 Stone, inspired by how Jesus invited Simon to become Peter in John 1:40-42 (www.sand2stone.us)
• Adventures create discomfort, which has multiple benefits
• • Enjoyment of discovering God's creation in nature
  • Life lessons happen by being in nature
  • Nature humbles us and reminds us of our frailty
  • Exposes where comfort has stunted growth and potential
  • Provides a healthy risk for the boys
• Comfort can become an idol
• In this virtual age, don't neglect to embrace and experience the real thing

Whether your father was a great example or a lousy one, you will have a moment where your son will need something from you that you never received from your dad.

How do you do that? How do you give to your son something you never received from your father? That question, from one of our listeners, is what Mark addresses in this latest episode.

Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)

Expanded Notes:

• Grieve what wasn't or will never be, so that you can let it go and move on
• • Resources to help: counseling, coaching, mentor, community of other men
• Recognize that God the Father is the perfect father
• • Resources to help: Fathered by God by John Eldredge, Not Forsaken by Louie Giglio
• How have you learned to do something new?
• • Resources to help: community of other men, mentors, older/wiser fathers
• Dads leave a huge impact; It's up to you what you do with yours

This episode continues the incredible story of Dr. Joe Martin. Joe's life can be summarized in one simple sentence: "He went from rags to riches to ruined to redemption." Having it all by age 30, losing it all by age 40, and gaining it all back by age 50. He now hosts a top rated podcast for Christian Men and helps men write their own life comeback stories of redemption.

Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)

Expanded Notes:

• realmenconnect.com / rmcfree.com
• Dr. Joe Martin: from Rags to Riches to Ruined to Redemption
• Forgiveness was huge in the Ruined to Redemption process, forgiving others and self
• Forgiveness is ongoing
• R. T. Kendall: Total Forgiveness and How To Forgive Ourselves Totally
• An encounter with God changed everything: "You can't hate you more than I love you." "Everything you did my son died for that too."
• Brokenness was required before the breakthrough
• To now have a daughter through a new marriage is an undeserved gift of God
• Renewing your mind starts with a real relationship with God and then being in community with other likeminded men

The story you are about to hear is almost impossible to believe. And yet it happened and it's told by the one who experienced it all, Dr. Joe Martin. Joe's life can be summarized in one simple sentence: "He went from rags to riches to ruined to redemption." Having it all by age 30, losing it all by age 40, and gaining it all back by age 50. He now hosts a top rated podcast for Christian Men and helps men write their own life comeback stories.

Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)

Expanded Notes:

• realmenconnect.com / rmcfree.com
• Dr. Joe Martin: from Rags to Riches to Ruined to Redemption
• • Rags: Growing up poor, neglected and abused in "the hood"
  • Riches: Early financial and business success in his 20's
  • Ruined: Losing it all — success, wealth, marriage, and almost his own life
  • Redemption: Rediscovering his identity in Christ and now helping men write their comeback stories
• Shame was keeping Joe from being honest with his family, about abuse and choices
• The issue wasn't about sex, it was about identity; the trauma became the truth
• Addictions are the wrong solution to a deeper problem

When someone suggests there's a better way to parent, we're intrigued and pay attention. Sometimes there's wisdom there and sometimes it's nonsense. And, of course, sometimes there's both. A recent article from The Atlantic is just such an example. Based on research about parenting from other very different cultures, there are a few things we can learn and some things we should challenge.

Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)

Expanded Notes:

• Source article: https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2021/03/hunt-gather-parent-timeless-advice-for-modern-parents/618172/
• • Based on a book by Michaeleen Doucleff: Hunt, Gather, Parent: What Ancient Cultures Can Teach Us About the Lost Art of Raising Happy, Helpful Little Humans
• Parenting without yelling is a skill that can be developed
• Pacing approach could be helpful, but motivation is the key
• A disciplined response is better than a default response
• Praise is important, but should be tied to effort vs results, and you can give too much
• Allo-parenting refers to community based parenting; can undermine significance of nuclear parenting if "community" means "institutions"
• It's important to know kids are irrational and illogical, because they're undeveloped
• At the same time, they also learn how to manipulate at a very early age
• Who is the adult/parent in the room?
• A family-centric philosophy serves parents, kids, and communities better than a kid-centric approach

In this latest installment of Mark's Musings, Mark talks about a recent conversation with his kids in which they shared about some of their experience growing up. From that conversation emerged 4 things that, upon reflection, he wish he would have known back then. Maybe, by sharing them with you today, you can benefit from this learning and incorporate it into how you're raising your son.

Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)

Expanded Notes:

• 4 Things I Wish I Knew Back Then
• • Let them fail more
  • • Failure isn't so fatal as I used to think
    • They are learning opportunities
  • Let them see us "fight"
  • • Conflict in marriage is normal
    • Letting them see us fight could have taught them how to do it in a healthy way
  • Teach them about EQ
  • • Emotional Intelligence starts awareness of emotions
    • Managing and choosing emotions is the goal of EQ
  • Talk openly about fear
  • • Acknowledge fear so it won't control you
    • Foster courage to overcome
  • Share wisdom with your kids, regardless of their age

"Without a guide to show us the way, we end up off, to some degree or another." That's one insight that came from part 2 of the conversation about forging extraordinary men with Phillip Vanderford, Battalion Commanding Officer with ALERT Academy. His passion and the work that he's doing for ALERT is making a difference in the lives of hundreds of young men. Join us in this episode as we get deeper in to how they make it happen and why this might be a good fit for your son.

Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)

Expanded Notes:

• ALERT is about forging extraordinary men who will influence their world for Christ
• https://alertacademy.com
• Discipleship is foundational to the overall development of the guys at the academy
• Some consistent themes that present in the guys regularly
• • Self focused perspective
  • Fatherlessness, whether fathers absent or not
• The desire to be a man is wired in, but requires a guide to show the way
• ALERT is made for:
• • Guys who are motivated, teachable and self aware. They excel.
  • Guys who are self focused and lack awareness. They benefit the most.

"I'm not a man because I can prove myself as a big, tough, macho guy. It's more about what's happening inside of me." That's just one of the insights that comes from this conversation with Phillip Vanderford, Battalion Commanding Officer with ALERT Academy. His passion for helping young men pursue Christ and His kingdom comes through in an inspiring way, both in his own story and the work he's doing to help forge extraordinary men.

Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)

Expanded Notes:

• ALERT Academy (Air, Land, Emergency Resource Team)
• Finding identity key part of journey to manhood; but sometimes it drives a need to perform and prove
• Authority is not synonymous with leadership
• The blessing and affirmation of a father is a desire that every guy has and never outgrows
• Other mentors in a boy's life can play a powerful role
• ALERT is about forging extraordinary men who will influence their world for Christ
• https://alertacademy.com

Can an expanding family become an opportunity for promotion? It can when you approach it with an initiation mindset. When seen through this lens, brotherhood becomes much more than just competition for resources once wholly owned. It is now a promotion into a bigger and more meaningful role. And this can serve as a template for future promotion opportunities all along his journey to manhood.

Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)

Expanded Notes:

• A new sibling allows opportunity to promote a boy into the responsibility of brotherhood
• Initiation can be a mindset, which incorporates all seasons of change for their preparation and benefit
• Natural experiences and development can be purposed for man training, reinforcing the qualities of manhood dads are fostering
• If you know where you're guiding your boy, you can see everyday experiences as ways to help him get there
• Location can create a more special and meaningful experience for these mini-promotions
• You can speak life into your kids, and see them respond positively
• Have a vision for where you are guiding your boys so that you can leverage natural seasons and stages to execute on that vision

Although boys don't automatically become men, there are stages that they pass through in their growth and development. Borrowing language and references from learning to be a master craftsman, we talk about 4 distinct stages boys progress through in their journey of becoming the men they were created to be. And when you understand and cooperate with those stages it makes you an even more effective father.

Music Credit: "Funkorama" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)

Expanded Notes:

4 Keys Stages of Manhood:

• Novice (0-12)
• • Experiencing life as a boy, becoming more and more curious about what it means to be a man
  • He needs engagement, nurturing, preparation for next stage
• Apprentice (13-18)
• • Asking questions like "what is a man", or "how do I become a man?"
  • Ideal age for the initiation process
  • He needs guiding, training, and releasing
• Journeymen (19-30'ish)
• • Responsibility shift for him from learning to doing
  • He needs encouragement, support, partnership
• Master (30+)
• • Like a black belt, there's mastery but the learning continues
  • See Fathered By God for a more in depth look
  • Still needs love, affirmation and encouragement
• Familiarity and cooperation with these stages will help you as a dad
• • Work in current stage to prepare him for the next
  • Recognize how your role shifts with each stage
  • Remember: relationship first, love always