We’ve all heard the phrase "be strong," but what happens when strength becomes a mask we use to hide our weariness, pain, and grief? In this episode of The NEXT Podcast, host Jay Cookingham dives deep into the heavy, unspoken burden of carrying a "tough face”.

Drawing from his own visceral experience standing in a receiving line for over two hours at his late wife Christine's memorial service, where he found himself comforting others instead of being comforted.

If you've ever felt the pressure to hold it all together while breaking inside, this episode offers grace-filled permission to drop the badge of honor of false strength. Jay shares practical, pastoral steps for evaluating your responsibilities, setting healthy boundaries, and transferring the weight off your shoulders onto Jesus. Because true strength isn't about pretending to be unbreakable, it’s about relying on His power in our weakness.

Find out more about me here: www.jaycookingham.com

I’m on @buymeacoffee. If you like, even maybe love my podcast, you can buy me a coffee and support me. It’s a simple way of showing your support and helping me grow the podcast. Thank you!

Here’s the link: buymeacoffee.com/jcdude56t

Music by Paul Grimsland

You can buy my grief devotional, NEXT: Lamentations and Devotions, here: https://a.co/d/07sA61P5

After deep loss, grief doesn't just teach us how to let go—it often teaches us to hold back.

We become cautious with joy. We hesitate to dream. We struggle to receive kindness, hope, or even moments of peace because our hearts have learned what it feels like to lose someone we love.

In this episode, Jay reflects on a surprising lesson from his own grief journey: learning to receive again.

Through the tender story of holding his newborn grandson for the very first time, Jay shares how joy and sorrow can exist together without competing. While grieving the absence of his wife, Christine, he discovered that God's goodness often arrives quietly—not by removing our grief, but by placing new gifts beside it.

If you've ever wondered whether it's okay to laugh again, hope again, or embrace the life God is still giving you, this conversation is for you.

Receiving isn't forgetting.

Receiving isn't replacing.

Receiving is trusting.

Find out more about me here: www.jaycookingham.com

I’m on @buymeacoffee. If you like, even maybe love my podcast,you can buy me a coffee and support me. It’s a simple way of showing yoursupport and helping me grow the podcast. Thank you!

Here’s the link: buymeacoffee.com/jcdude56t

Music by Paul Grimsland

Grief doesn't just take the person you love—it can also take the one person who knew you most deeply.

In this deeply personal episode, Jay reflects on one of the hidden losses of widowhood: losing the person who witnessed your heart, spoke life into your calling, and reminded you of who you were becoming.

After sharing updates from a season filled with transition—including preparing to step away from pastoring, writing new books, and welcoming a new grandson—Jay explores how grief quietly attacks identity, purpose, and belonging.

If you've ever wondered...

• Who am I now?

• Does my life still matter?

• Who really knows me anymore?

...this conversation is for you.

Discover why grief often disguises itself as doubt, why remembering how your loved one saw you can become a healing practice, and why God's voice remains the truest foundation for your identity.

Scripture Reflection: While this episode centers on personal reflection, its heartbeat reminds us that we are fully known by God, even when we deeply miss being known by someone we loved.

As always, Jay reminds us:

God is good. He is always good. And He always answers out of His goodness.

Find out more about me here: www.jaycookingham.com

I’m on @buymeacoffee. If you like, even maybe love my podcast, you can buy me a coffee and support me. It’s a simple way of showing your support and helping me grow the podcast. Thank you!

Here’s the link: buymeacoffee.com/jcdude56t

Music by Paul Grimsland

Loneliness is one of the deepest secondary losses of grief—but it's often misunderstood.

When most people hear the word loneliness, they think the answer is more people, more activity, or simply staying busy. But what if that's not the loneliness you're experiencing?

In this episode, Jay shares the kind of loneliness that comes after losing a spouse—the loneliness of losing the person who knew your story, finished your sentences, remembered your history, and witnessed your life.

Drawing from his own journey six and a half years after Christine's passing, Jay explores how loneliness isn't a lack of faith, why God never shames us for feeling lonely, and how His presence becomes our greatest comfort in places where no one else can follow.

If you've ever felt lonely in the middle of a crowd, this conversation is for you.

In this episode:

• Why loneliness is different from simply being alone

• The hidden loneliness of losing your "primary witness"

• Why busyness isn't a cure for grief

• How isolation quietly shapes our identity

• Learning to surrender loneliness instead of fighting it

• Finding God's presence in the places that hurt most

"God is not afraid of our lonely places. He meets us there… reminding us that we are still known, still loved, and never forgotten."

Find out more about me here: www.jaycookingham.com

I’m on @buymeacoffee. If you like, even maybe love my podcast, you can buy me a coffee and support me. It’s a simple way of showing your support and helping me grow the podcast. Thank you!

Here’s the link: buymeacoffee.com/jcdude56t

Music by Paul Grimsland

Six years ago, when Christine passed away, I never imagined I would write a grief devotional. I wasn't looking to become a grief coach, start a grief podcast, or build a ministry around loss. I was simply trying to survive.

In this episode, I share the unexpected story behind NEXT: Lamentations and Devotions and why it exists. What began as private journal entries, prayers, questions, and laments slowly became something much bigger than I ever intended.

Along the way, I discovered that grief isn't a problem to solve—it's a relationship to learn. A relationship with loss, memory, change, and ultimately, with God Himself.

I'll also share my original song, My Grief Song, and talk about why permission—not perfection—has become one of the most important themes of my grief journey.

If you've ever wondered whether you're grieving "the right way," this episode is for you.

In this episode:

• Why I never intended to write a grief devotional

• How journaling became a lifeline after loss

• The importance of lament and honest conversations with God

• Why grieving people need permission more than answers

• The meaning behind the Selah and Grief Examen sections of the devotional

• How God's goodness remains present in the middle of sorrow

"I didn't write this because I had figured grief out. I wrote it because I was grieving."

Find out more about me here: www.jaycookingham.com

I’m on @buymeacoffee. If you like, even maybe love my podcast, you can buy me a coffee and support me. It’s a simple way of showing your support and helping me grow the podcast. Thank you!

Here’s the link: buymeacoffee.com/jcdude56t

Podcast Music by Paul Grimsland

Grief Song written by Jay Cookingham used with (mine) his permission.

Buy NEXT: Lamentations and Devotions her: https://a.co/d/0g8K8kVT

One of the quieter challenges of grief is learning how to walk through it as a family — especially when everyone is grieving the same loss differently.

In this episode of The NEXT Podcast, Jay Cookingham shares honestly about helping his seven adult children grieve the loss of their mother while continuing to navigate his own grief as a widower.

How do you support your children without pushing them?

How do you make room for different grief styles, timelines, and emotions?

And what does it look like to stay present for one another when no one really knows what to say?

Jay reflects on:

• Why “gentle modeling” often helps more than advice

• The sacred value of stories, memories, and family history

• Learning to listen without trying to fix grief

• Giving both yourself and your children grace

Through Scripture, personal reflection, and practical wisdom, this episode reminds us that grief is not something families “solve” together — it’s something we learn to carry together with compassion, patience, and God’s help.

“Sometimes the most loving thing we can do is stop trying to hurry each other through grief and simply stay present with one another inside it.”

If you are grieving alongside your children — whether they are young or grown — this conversation will encourage you to lead with presence instead of pressure.

Find out more about me here: www.jaycookingham.com

I’m on @buymeacoffee. If you like, even maybe love my podcast, you can buy me a coffee and support me. It’s a simple way of showing your support and helping me grow the podcast. Thank you!

Here’s the link: buymeacoffee.com/jcdude56t

Music by Paul Grimsland

What does it look like to face the future after loss—especially when that future feels smaller, uncertain, or even lonely?

In this episode, Jay shares honestly from his own journey as a widower, reflecting on the unique challenges of moving forward without the one you shared life with. From the quiet weight of loneliness to the loss of identity and daily rhythms, this conversation names the reality many feel but struggle to express.

But this episode isn’t just about what’s hard, it’s about what’s still possible.

Jay explores what it means to take small, faithful steps forward… to care for what’s been entrusted to you… and to give yourself permission to dream again. He shares how choosing to live again isn’t a betrayal of love, but an act of trust in God’s ongoing goodness.

You’ll also hear practical and heartfelt thoughts on preparing your loved ones for the future with wisdom, gentleness, and love—without fear or heaviness.

If you’ve ever wondered:

• Can I trust God with what’s left of my life?

• Is it okay to hope, laugh, or dream again?

• How do I move forward without feeling like I’m leaving them behind?

This episode will meet you there.

Find out more about Jay here: https://jaycookingham.com

I’m on @buymeacoffee. If you like, even maybe love my podcast, you can buy me a coffee and support me. It’s a simple way of showing your support and helping me grow the podcast. Thank you!

Podcast music by Paul Grimsland

Grief doesn’t just change your life—it reshapes your family.

In this episode of The NEXT Podcast, Jay Cookingham reflects on how loss impacts the rhythms, roles, and relationships within a family, especially as a widower with adult children.

After losing his wife, Jay found that grief didn’t just take away his partner… it disrupted the shared timeline of raising a family together. What once felt steady now feels, at times, uncertain, fuzzy, and emotionally complex.

From co-parenting to navigating life as the only remaining parent, this episode explores:

• The emotional weight of parenting adult children through grief

• The “relational confusion” that follows loss

• Letting go of control while staying connected

• Learning new ways to love without overstepping

• Trusting God with your children’s journey—and your own

If you’ve ever felt the tension of wanting to help but not knowing how…

or the ache of missing the way your family used to be…

You’re not alone.

Grief changes the dance.

But with God, you can learn new steps.

Find out more about me here: www.jaycookingham.com

I’m on @buymeacoffee. If you like, even maybe love my podcast, you can buy me a coffee and support me. It’s a simple way of showing your support and helping me grow the podcast. Thank you!

Here’s the link: buymeacoffee.com/jcdude56t

The NEXT Podcast music "Song for Christine" is by Paul Grimsland.

“There is a lot to mourn.”

In this deeply personal episode of The NEXT Podcast, Jay Cookingham shares from a recent journal entry—an honest look at what grief continues to uncover over time.

Grief isn’t just about the initial loss. It’s also about the secondary losses that follow—changing memories, shifting relationships, and even the evolving relationship you have with yourself.

Memories don’t always stay the same.

They change shape… and sometimes bring new forms of sadness.

Relationships shift.

Even your sense of identity can feel unsettled.

And in the middle of it all, grief becomes something like a dance—learning new steps without ever fully mastering the old ones.

This episode is a gentle reminder that:

• There is more to grieve than we often expect

• Ongoing grief is not failure, it’s reality

• And you don’t have to fight every emotion that comes

If you’ve ever felt surprised by grief showing up in new ways…

or wondered why it still feels so present…

You’re not doing it wrong. There is just… a lot to mourn.

Find out more about me here: https://jaycookingham.com

I’m on @buymeacoffee. If you like, even maybe love my podcast, you can buy me a coffee and support me. It’s a simple way of showing your support and helping me grow the podcast. Thank you!

Here’s the link: buymeacoffee.com/jcdude56t

What if grief is shaping you… but not defining you?

In this episode of The NEXT Podcast, Jay Cookingham reflects on a tension he’s been wrestling with even after years of walking through loss, hosting a grief podcast, and helping others navigate sorrow—he doesn’t want to be known as “the grief guy.”

Because grief may be part of his story… but it is not his identity.

Jay shares honestly about what it means to be refined by grief rather than defined by it. He explores the difference between labels and transformation, the sacred role of lament, and the ongoing process of letting go—not of love, but of what holds us back from moving forward.

This episode is a reminder that:

• You are more than what you’ve lost

• Grief is real, necessary, and deeply personal

• And God alone gets to define who you are

If you’ve ever felt like your pain is becoming your identity… this conversation will meet you there—with honesty, hope, and truth.