The NICU Space by Miracle Moon

Having a baby born prematurely can turn a family’s world upside down, bringing fear, uncertainty and an emotional journey that can be difficult to put into words. In this episode of The NICU Space Podcast, Dr Frankie Harrison speaks with Adam Weighell, a dad whose son Toby was born at just 26 weeks, weighing only 760 grams, and spent 142 days in hospital.

Adam shares the reality of navigating neonatal intensive care as a father, from the fear of losing his son and the challenges of bonding with him to the emotional toll of repeatedly facing serious complications. He also reflects on how writing helped him process his experience and led to his book, Dear Toby: The Diary of a Preemie Parent, and why he wants more dads to feel able to talk openly about their emotions during and after a NICU journey.

In this episode, we talk about:

• Adam’s experience of his son Toby’s premature birth at 26 weeks, weighing 760 grams, and his 142-day NICU journey, including serious complications and multiple surgeries.
• Why fear of losing your baby can make bonding in the NICU difficult, and how this can affect dads emotionally.
• The challenges fathers face in neonatal care, including feeling overlooked, trying to stay strong for their family and struggling to express their emotions.
• How peer support, connecting with other NICU parents and writing about his experience helped Adam cope with the emotional impact of neonatal care.
• Adam’s advice for NICU dads, the importance of talking about your feelings, and how his book, Dear Toby: The Diary of a Preemie Parent, aims to support other families.

Resources & links mentioned in this episode:

The NICU Space⁠⁠

An online support space for NICU parents at all stages of their journey. Inside you’ll find specialist resources, coping tools and connection with parents who understand what this experience can feel like.

Dear Toby: The Diary of a Preemie Parent by Adam Weighell

Adam’s personal account of his son Toby’s premature birth and 142 days in neonatal care. Through his diary, Adam shares the emotional highs and lows of life as a NICU dad, reflecting on the fear, uncertainty and experiences that shaped his family’s journey.

Buy the book on Amazon, Waterstones or audiobook.

Stay connected

Instagram: ⁠⁠@miraclemoonuk⁠⁠

Website: ⁠⁠miraclemoon.co.uk⁠

Connect with our guest, Adam Weighell

Instagram: @weighelladam

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Having a baby in the NICU can be an incredibly frightening experience, and for some parents, the emotional impact continues long after they leave the hospital. In this episode, I speak to Dr. Sophie Tolmie, a psychologist and NICU parent, about her experience of having her son Luca born just before 31 weeks and spending seven weeks in neonatal care.

Sophie shares her very honest experience of developing postnatal OCD following her NICU experience, including intrusive thoughts, contamination fears, compulsive hand washing, checking and the overwhelming fear that she could somehow harm her baby. She also talks about the role of trauma, therapy, EMDR, medication and gradual exposure in her recovery, as well as what she wants other parents experiencing OCD to know.

In this episode, we talk about:

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• How postnatal OCD developed after NICU, including intrusive thoughts, contamination fears, checking and compulsions
• The connection between NICU trauma, anxiety and OCD, and why the context behind someone’s OCD symptoms matters
• Sophie’s experience of therapy, EMDR, medication and gradually reducing compulsions and safety behaviours
• How to recognise possible postnatal OCD, why intrusive thoughts do not mean you will act on them, and how reaching out for the right support can help

Sophie also talks about how difficult it can be to challenge OCD when the fear feels completely real, and how focusing on her values, including wanting to bond with Luca and live her life as a mum, helped her take gradual steps forward.

Resources & links mentioned in this episode:

⁠The NICU Space⁠⁠

An online support space for NICU parents at all stages of their journey. Inside you’ll find specialist resources, coping tools and connection with parents who understand what this experience can feel like.

Stay connected

Instagram: ⁠⁠@miraclemoonuk⁠⁠

Website: ⁠⁠miraclemoon.co.uk

One last thing! Help us spread the word by leaving a review and subscribing...that way, you won't miss a single episode. ⭐️

Baby loss can change everything. In this episode, Lucy Livesey, founder of Ellie’s Gift, shares the story of losing her baby daughter Ellie following a 20-week scan, and the experience of navigating grief, pregnancy after loss and life as a parent to both a baby who died and her living children.

Lucy also talks openly about her experience of termination for medical reasons (TFMR), the gaps she found in support for families experiencing baby loss, and how she turned her own experience into something that could help others. This led her to create Ellie’s Gift, an app and support resource designed to help people navigate grief and life after baby loss.

In this episode we cover:

• Lucy’s experience of baby loss and giving birth to her daughter Ellie
• What termination for medical reasons (TFMR) can look like and why more support is needed
• Navigating grief while parenting living children and continuing to remember the baby who died
• Pregnancy after loss, and the complicated emotions that can come with it
• Ellie’s Gift, the app Lucy created to support families through baby loss, grief and beyond

Resources & links mentioned in this episode:

The NICU Space⁠

An online support space for NICU parents at all stages of their journey. Inside you’ll find specialist resources, coping tools and connection with parents who understand what this experience can feel like.

Ellie’s Gift

A completely free app created by Lucy to support families through the birth of a baby who has died. It includes videos, audio tracks, PDFs, journaling tools and signposting to other resources. The app now includes a dedicated TFMR section developed with input from parents who have experienced termination for medical reasons.

Ellie’s Rainbow Support

Support created from Lucy’s own experience of pregnancy after loss, including audio tracks, anxiety support and a digital toolkit designed to help parents manage anxiety during subsequent pregnancies.

Stay connected

Instagram: ⁠@miraclemoonuk⁠

Website: ⁠miraclemoon.co.uk

Connect with our guest, Lucy Livesey

Facebook: elliesgiftapp

Instagram: @elliesgiftproject

One last thing! Help us spread the word by leaving a review and subscribing...that way, you won't miss a single episode. ⭐️

In this episode, I'm joined by neonatal clinical psychologist Rebecca Chilvers, who shares her expertise on the psychological impact of neonatal care and why a NICU stay can affect parents long after they've left the hospital. We explore the many emotional experiences that can arise during neonatal care, from trauma and grief to guilt, anxiety and feeling disconnected from yourself.

We also discuss why every parent's NICU journey is unique, how difficult emotions like survivor's guilt and witnessing other families' experiences can shape recovery, and the importance of recognising that these responses are normal. Rebecca also shares insights from her new book, designed to help parents navigate the emotional challenges of neonatal care with practical tools, exercises and real-life stories.

In this episode, we talk about:

• The psychological impact of NICU and why neonatal care can be traumatic
• Grief, guilt, survivor's guilt and witnessing trauma on the neonatal unit
• How NICU can affect relationships, identity and mental health
• Practical ways to process difficult emotions during and after neonatal care
• Rebecca’s new book and the support available for NICU parents

Resources & links mentioned in this episode:

The NICU Space⁠

An online support space for NICU parents at all stages of their journey. Inside you’ll find specialist resources, coping tools and connection with parents who understand what this experience can feel like.

Not Alone in NICU- Rebecca's Book

A reassuring guide for parents navigating the emotional intensity of neonatal care, packed with expert psychological insights, practical coping tools, and honest stories from NICU families. Designed to help you process your experience and feel less alone at every step of the journey.

Maternity and Neonatal Voices Partnerships (MNVPs)

A network that gives parents the opportunity to work alongside NHS maternity and neonatal services to improve care through lived experience.

Parent Advisory Groups (PAGs)

Regional parent groups that help shape neonatal services, policies and family-centred care across NHS neonatal networks.

Stay connected

Instagram: ⁠@miraclemoonuk⁠

Website: ⁠miraclemoon.co.uk

Connect with our guest, Rebecca Chilvers

LinkedIn: Rebecca Chilvers

One last thing! Help us spread the word by leaving a review and subscribing...that way, you won't miss a single episode. ⭐️

In this episode, I’m joined by Annemarie Lodder from Imperial College London and three young adults who were born premature and spent time in neonatal care: Anais, Nicholas and Stella. Together, we explore what it is really like to grow up after premature birth and what young people wish their parents, healthcare professionals and the wider public understood about their experiences.

We talk about the long-term impact of premature birth, including physical health, mental health, neurodiversity, relationships, identity and feeling different from your peers. We also explore how parents' experiences of NICU can shape the way they parent, why ongoing support and research beyond early childhood are so important, and the power of hearing directly from young people about what it means to grow up after neonatal care.

In this episode, we talk about:

• The long-term impact of premature birth and growing up after NICU
• What young people born premature wish their parents and healthcare professionals understood
• How prematurity can affect mental health, physical health, relationships and identity
• The impact of a child's NICU experience on parenting, including overprotectiveness and anxiety
• Why ongoing research, support and the voices of people born premature matter

Resources & links mentioned in this episode:

⁠The NICU Space

An online support space for NICU parents at all stages of their journey. Inside you’ll find specialist resources, coping tools and connection with parents who understand what this experience can feel like.

Stay connected

Instagram: ⁠@miraclemoonuk⁠

Website: ⁠miraclemoon.co.uk

One last thing! Help us spread the word by leaving a review and subscribing...that way, you won't miss a single episode. ⭐️

In this episode, I’m joined by Jessica Lowther-Payne, a non-birthing mum in a two-mum family, to talk honestly about her experience of becoming a parent after a challenging IVF journey and unexpectedly finding herself in neonatal care. Jess shares the compound impact of IVF, grief and trauma followed by an intense NICU and PICU experience, and how this affected her mental health, identity and confidence as a parent.

We also explore the unique challenges non-birthing parents and LGBTQ+ families can face in neonatal care, from feeling invisible or excluded to struggling to access appropriate perinatal mental health support. Jess shares what she has learnt about bonding and trauma since leaving NICU, as well as the work she is now doing to advocate for more inclusive and compassionate support for all families.

In this episode, we talk about:

• The compound emotional impact of IVF, trauma and an unexpected NICU experience
• Jess’s experience of neonatal care as a non-birthing mum in a two-mum family
• How NICU affected her identity, confidence, bonding and mental health after discharge
• The barriers non-birthing parents can face when trying to access perinatal mental health support
• How neonatal services can better support and include LGBTQ+ parents and families

Resources & links mentioned in this episode:

The NICU Space

An online support space for NICU parents at all stages of their journey. Inside you’ll find specialist resources, coping tools and connection with parents who understand what this experience can feel like.

LGBT Mummies

Free resources and guidance for professionals supporting LGBTQ+ families, including information around inclusive communication and language.

Maternity and Neonatal Voices Partnerships (MNVPs)

Local partnerships that give families the opportunity to share their experiences and help shape maternity and neonatal services.

Parent Advisory Groups (PAGs)

Groups that give parents and families the opportunity to use their lived experience to help improve neonatal services and care.

Stay connected

Instagram: @miraclemoonuk

Website: miraclemoon.co.uk

Connect with our guest, Jessica Lowther-Payne

LinkedIn

One last thing! Help us spread the word by leaving a review and subscribing...that way, you won't miss a single episode. ⭐️

In this episode, I'm joined by paediatric occupational therapist and fellow NICU mum, Anandé, to explore how neonatal care can shape not only a baby's development, but also the emotional wellbeing of parents and the whole family. Anandè shares her personal experience of two NICU journeys, including a traumatic hospital fire during her second son's admission, and how therapy helped her navigate pregnancy after trauma and advocate for her baby in ways she couldn't the first time.

Together, we explore the powerful role of play, sensory development and nervous system regulation after NICU. We discuss why play isn't another parenting task to tick off, how premature birth and neonatal care can influence sensory processing, and why understanding both your child's sensory needs and your own can make everyday family life feel more connected and less overwhelming.

In this episode, we talk about:

• Anandé's experience of two NICU journeys and becoming a NICU parent twice
• How therapy supported healing after birth trauma and neonatal care
• Why play is essential for connection, regulation and child development after NICU
• How premature birth and NICU can influence sensory development and processing
• Practical ways parents can better understand their own nervous system and their child's sensory needs

Resources & links mentioned in this episode:

The NICU Space Community

An online support space for NICU parents at all stages of their journey. Inside you'll find specialist resources, coping tools and connection with parents who understand what this experience can feel like.

Beyond Beeps and Hums Podcast

Anandé's podcast exploring early development, parenthood and the lived experience of families navigating NICU and medically complex beginnings.

Stay connected

Instagram: ⁠⁠@miraclemoonuk⁠⁠

Website: ⁠⁠miraclemoon.co.uk⁠⁠

The NICU Space community: The NICU Space

Connect with our guest, Anandé

Instagram: @playmoreot

NICU Instagram: @beyondbeepsandhum

Podcast: Beyond Beeps and Hums

One last thing! Help us spread the word by leaving a review and subscribing...that way, you won't miss a single episode. ⭐️

In this episode, I’m joined by Carly Costello, licensed therapist, EMDR-certified therapist and consultant, to answer one of the most common questions I hear from parents after birth trauma and neonatal care: What is EMDR, and how does it actually work? Together, we break down the science behind Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing (EMDR) in a simple, accessible way and explore how it can help people process traumatic experiences without reliving them.

We talk about common fears surrounding EMDR, including worries about "opening Pandora's box", whether EMDR is safe during pregnancy, and how trauma can remain "stuck" in the nervous system long after birth or NICU. Carly explains why EMDR isn't just for PTSD or major trauma, how it can help parents, partners and families affected by birth trauma and neonatal care, and what to expect if you're considering starting therapy.

In this episode, we talk about:

• What EMDR therapy is and how it helps process birth trauma and NICU experiences
• Why trauma can stay "stuck" in the nervous system and how EMDR supports healing
• Common myths about EMDR, including pregnancy and "opening Pandora's box"
• How EMDR can help parents, partners and families after traumatic birth and neonatal care
• What to expect in an EMDR session and how to find the right EMDR therapist

Resources & links mentioned in this episode:

The NICU Space Community

An online support space for NICU parents at all stages of their journey. Inside you'll find specialist resources, coping tools and connection with parents who understand what this experience can feel like.

EMDRIA (EMDR International Association)

A directory to help you find trained and certified EMDR therapists.

Stay connected

Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@miraclemoonuk⁠⁠⁠

Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠miraclemoon.co.uk⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

The NICU Space community: ⁠⁠⁠⁠The NICU Space

Connect with our guest, Carly Costello

Instagram: @emdrwithcarly

Website: www.emdrwithcarly.com

One last thing! Help us spread the word by leaving a review and subscribing...that way, you won't miss a single episode. ⭐️

In this episode, I'm joined by Dr. Teela Tomassetti, who shares her deeply personal experience of birth trauma, medical neglect and obstetric violence. Teela opens up about the traumatic birth of her daughter, the lasting physical and emotional impact of feeling unheard during labour, and how these experiences shaped both her personal life and professional work supporting survivors of reproductive trauma.

We explore what birth trauma really is, how trauma affects the nervous system long after birth, and why partners can experience trauma too. Teela also introduces the principles of narrative therapy, sharing practical ways parents can begin to separate themselves from their trauma and move towards healing after difficult birth experiences.

In this episode, we talk about:

• Birth trauma, medical neglect and obstetric violence
• How birth trauma can affect the nervous system, relationships and intimacy
• Why partners can experience trauma and PTSD after witnessing a traumatic birth
• The long-term emotional impact of traumatic birth experiences
• How narrative therapy can support healing and help parents reclaim their story

Resources & links mentioned in this episode:

⁠⁠The NICU Space Community⁠⁠

An online support space for NICU parents at all stages of their journey. Inside you'll find specialist resources, coping tools and connection with parents who understand what this experience can feel like.

Stay connected

Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠@miraclemoonuk⁠⁠

Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠miraclemoon.co.uk⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

The NICU Space community: ⁠⁠⁠The NICU Space

Connect with our guest, Teela

Instagram: @theteaonbirthtrauma

Website: Reproductive & Perinatal Trauma Center

One last thing! Help us spread the word by leaving a review and subscribing...that way, you won't miss a single episode. ⭐️

In this episode, I’m joined by Mary Jenner, paediatric nurse, founder of The Butterfly Pig, and advocate for reducing medical trauma in children. After experiencing her own daughter’s NICU stay following a traumatic birth, Mary saw first-hand how play can help children understand, process and cope with complex medical experiences.

We talk about supporting NICU siblings, preparing children for hospital visits and medical procedures, and how play can reduce fear, anxiety and trauma. Mary shares practical strategies parents can use to help children make sense of medical experiences, advocate for their needs, and feel more involved in their care.

• How play helps children process NICU experiences and medical trauma
• Supporting siblings when a baby is in neonatal care
• Preparing children for hospital visits, blood tests and medical procedures
• Recognising signs of medical anxiety and trauma in children
• Practical ways parents can help children feel safer, more informed and empowered in healthcare settings

Resources & links mentioned in this episode:

⁠⁠The NICU Space Community⁠⁠

An online support space for NICU parents at all stages of their journey. Inside you’ll find specialist resources, coping tools and connection with parents who understand what this experience can feel like.

The Butterfly Pig

Medical play resources, realistic medical toys and educational tools designed to help children understand, prepare for and process healthcare experiences.

Playful Prescriptions

A free app that provides age-appropriate play ideas to help children understand medical conditions, diagnoses and healthcare experiences.

Stay connected

Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠@miraclemoonuk⁠

Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠miraclemoon.co.uk⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

The NICU Space community: ⁠⁠The NICU Space

Connect with our guest, Mary Jenner

Instagram: @thebutterflypig

Website: The Butterfly Pig

One last thing! Help us spread the word by leaving a review and subscribing...that way, you won't miss a single episode. ⭐️