(1973 - 2019) Jealousy did this one in. Lust. Greed. A humble obituary writer like myself would have fallen for it, too. Ebenezer Xanderstein was found dead last night next alongside American movie star Jonah Hill, leaving his wife and daughter to fend for themselves in the oddly affluent town of Long Island. Xanderstein, a well-known rabbi, will be remembered for his tear jerkin’ sermons, for his reading of the WhitePages, and for his inability to make any kind of substantial living during his lifetime. Funeral procession will begin at Kishka Hut in the dead of night, with an erratic helicopter flyover and a premiere screening of Moneyball 6. Y’all be pleasant out there.

This episode is sponsored by: TREEHOUSE AUCTIONEER & HELICOPTER GUY

ft. ALON ELIAN - Ebenezer Xanderstein / Ms. Foxtrot

WILL KOLLER - Keisha Xanderstein / Bryce / sponsorships

JOHN GOODMAN - Devil / Raul / Jonah Hill

DAN KUAN PEEPLES - God / Daniel Elijah Foxtrot / Brad Pitt

theme song by Aaron Shapiro

an ELEVATOR pod