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The No Toolkit - Boundaries for ND Brains - S01E34
Episode 34: The ‘No’ toolkit- Boundaries for ND brains
For something that's only two letters long, "no" can create a truly astonishing amount of panic. One boundary becomes a guilt spiral, three imagined arguments, and a sudden urge to explain your entire life story to justify why you can't help someone move house on a Tuesday afternoon.
In this episode, we unpack why saying no can feel so disproportionately difficult for neurodivergent people. From people-pleasing and rejection sensitivity to masking, perfectionism, and the fear of disappointing others, we explore why so many of us end up saying yes long after we've run out of time, energy, and capacity.
We talk about overcommitting, resentment, energy management, and the hidden cost of constantly putting everyone else's needs ahead of our own. We also share practical strategies for creating boundaries that actually stick, including scripts, pause techniques, recognising when resentment is trying to tell you something important, and learning how to say no without writing a 14-page witness statement in your defence.
Because boundaries aren't about being difficult. They're about making sure there's still enough of you left for the things that matter.
If you've ever agreed to something and immediately regretted it... this one's for you.
Please share with anyone you think this topic might resonate with. Send any questions or suggestions to or contact us here: [email protected]
Don't forget to like and subscribe or follow along on the socials, see below timeline for details.
Together we can build a healthier, happier way to work!
-------------------------------------
TIMELINE
00:00:00 - Welcome & Introduction
00:00:46 - Topic of the Week - The No Toolkit - Boundaries for ND Brains
00:01:21 - Topic introduction - No, boundaries and protection
00:03:28 - Why the concept of "no" feels so big & risky
00:05:19 - How burnout affects priorities, no as a survival tactic
00:06:32 - The cost of "no" and creating room for rest and recovery
00:09:10 - What a disproportionate reaction to new boundaries means
00:10:51 - The cost of over-accommodation of others
00:12:43 - The bigger the excuse you give the more they have to work with
00:13:23 - The soft "no" - the calendar check-in before response
00:15:26 - Why saying "yes" is a dopamine trap...
00:17:05 - TANGENT 01 - Stu muses on ND's naive quality that gets taken advantage of
00:18:20 - Boundaries aren't control - it's about protecting our energy
00:19:00 - TANGENT 02 - Hannah shares a real-world example of not saying no
00:20:03 - Do you respect and believe your own "No"?
00:20:50 - Resenting not saying NO!
00:22:13 - Approaches to saying "no"
00:26:40 - Dealing with repeat offenders
00:27:43 - Saying no to yourself is often the hardest boundary to impose
00:31:33 - Energy management lesson learned from running
00:32:02 - Rest Guilt and struggling to switch off and resting being "lazy"
00:35:28 - Why are you full of resentment when you say yes?
00:37:01 - Red flagging unwarranted and disproportionate push back Pt2.
00:37:50 - When "no" can be detrimental, conserve your energy strategically
00:40:22 - You don't owe them your life story to put a boundary in place
00:43:17 - Stuart's business confession about his diary
00:45:07 - The double empathy trap keeping you time-starved and energy poor
00:46:03 - Stu's energy issues with short-notice change
00:47:40 - Is it you or your mask saying "yes"?
00:50:08 - HELL YEAH! or F&CK NO!
00:50:30 - Hannah takeaways and insights
00:54:45 - Stu's top tips and thoughts
00:57:58 - Thank you and goodbye
00:59:47 - LENGTH
-------------------------------------
RESOURCES HTML
RESOURCES
https://here2help.uk/further-information/ - Fab resource and amazing organisation raising awareness and support for autistic suicide prevention.
https://bigmoosecharity.co - Emergency mental health support, Big Moose provides fast and effective therapy for people who are struggling.
https://businessoddcast.com/help - our range of resources for Neurodiverse business owners, helping you thrive, survive and live more fulfilling lives.
-------------------------------------
OUR WEBSITE & CONTACT
Resources: https://businessoddcast.com/help
Contact us: [email protected]
OUR SOCIALS
youtube.com/BusinessOddcast
facebook.com/BusinessOddcast
instagram.com/BusinessOddcast
View all episodes
By Stuart Morrison & Hannah LoganEpisode 34: The ‘No’ toolkit- Boundaries for ND brains
For something that's only two letters long, "no" can create a truly astonishing amount of panic. One boundary becomes a guilt spiral, three imagined arguments, and a sudden urge to explain your entire life story to justify why you can't help someone move house on a Tuesday afternoon.
In this episode, we unpack why saying no can feel so disproportionately difficult for neurodivergent people. From people-pleasing and rejection sensitivity to masking, perfectionism, and the fear of disappointing others, we explore why so many of us end up saying yes long after we've run out of time, energy, and capacity.
We talk about overcommitting, resentment, energy management, and the hidden cost of constantly putting everyone else's needs ahead of our own. We also share practical strategies for creating boundaries that actually stick, including scripts, pause techniques, recognising when resentment is trying to tell you something important, and learning how to say no without writing a 14-page witness statement in your defence.
Because boundaries aren't about being difficult. They're about making sure there's still enough of you left for the things that matter.
If you've ever agreed to something and immediately regretted it... this one's for you.
Please share with anyone you think this topic might resonate with. Send any questions or suggestions to or contact us here: [email protected]
Don't forget to like and subscribe or follow along on the socials, see below timeline for details.
Together we can build a healthier, happier way to work!
-------------------------------------
TIMELINE
00:00:00 - Welcome & Introduction
00:00:46 - Topic of the Week - The No Toolkit - Boundaries for ND Brains
00:01:21 - Topic introduction - No, boundaries and protection
00:03:28 - Why the concept of "no" feels so big & risky
00:05:19 - How burnout affects priorities, no as a survival tactic
00:06:32 - The cost of "no" and creating room for rest and recovery
00:09:10 - What a disproportionate reaction to new boundaries means
00:10:51 - The cost of over-accommodation of others
00:12:43 - The bigger the excuse you give the more they have to work with
00:13:23 - The soft "no" - the calendar check-in before response
00:15:26 - Why saying "yes" is a dopamine trap...
00:17:05 - TANGENT 01 - Stu muses on ND's naive quality that gets taken advantage of
00:18:20 - Boundaries aren't control - it's about protecting our energy
00:19:00 - TANGENT 02 - Hannah shares a real-world example of not saying no
00:20:03 - Do you respect and believe your own "No"?
00:20:50 - Resenting not saying NO!
00:22:13 - Approaches to saying "no"
00:26:40 - Dealing with repeat offenders
00:27:43 - Saying no to yourself is often the hardest boundary to impose
00:31:33 - Energy management lesson learned from running
00:32:02 - Rest Guilt and struggling to switch off and resting being "lazy"
00:35:28 - Why are you full of resentment when you say yes?
00:37:01 - Red flagging unwarranted and disproportionate push back Pt2.
00:37:50 - When "no" can be detrimental, conserve your energy strategically
00:40:22 - You don't owe them your life story to put a boundary in place
00:43:17 - Stuart's business confession about his diary
00:45:07 - The double empathy trap keeping you time-starved and energy poor
00:46:03 - Stu's energy issues with short-notice change
00:47:40 - Is it you or your mask saying "yes"?
00:50:08 - HELL YEAH! or F&CK NO!
00:50:30 - Hannah takeaways and insights
00:54:45 - Stu's top tips and thoughts
00:57:58 - Thank you and goodbye
00:59:47 - LENGTH
-------------------------------------
RESOURCES HTML
RESOURCES
https://here2help.uk/further-information/ - Fab resource and amazing organisation raising awareness and support for autistic suicide prevention.
https://bigmoosecharity.co - Emergency mental health support, Big Moose provides fast and effective therapy for people who are struggling.
https://businessoddcast.com/help - our range of resources for Neurodiverse business owners, helping you thrive, survive and live more fulfilling lives.
-------------------------------------
OUR WEBSITE & CONTACT
Resources: https://businessoddcast.com/help
Contact us: [email protected]
OUR SOCIALS
youtube.com/BusinessOddcast
facebook.com/BusinessOddcast
instagram.com/BusinessOddcast