Welcome to The Nonlinear Library, where we use Text-to-Speech software to convert the best writing from the Rationalist and EA communities into audio. This is: If you're unhappy, consider leaving, published by Justis on July 20, 2022 on The Effective Altruism Forum.
When I talk to random people around my town, and ask how they're doing, a large fraction of them open with "well, the world sucks, but..."They do this whether or not they, personally, are about to report that they're doing well. It feels like a necessary caveat to them. To me, this is a sign that they're in a social context that cuts against their thriving. Does the world suck? Very hard to say with confidence. The world is very big, and there's no clear objective standard. But carrying around "the world sucks" is heavy, and makes it harder to enjoy life.
So I'd like to tell them to consider just... not thinking that anymore? The belief probably isn't paying rent. It's probably not rigorously considered. Just this cached thing, sitting around, making life slightly worse.
But I don't, because they're random acquaintances and their world models are their business. Same with you, reader of this post. But I'm going to make a recommendation to you, anyway. Consider leaving the organized EA movement for a while.
Wait, what?
If your reaction is "but this movement is great! I'm really happy and energized and ready to make the biggest difference I can with all my new exciting friends" then yeah, keep doing your thing! I probably don't have anything to offer you. And for what it's worth, I also agree the movement is great, and I am personally somewhat involved right now.
But I think it's pretty clear that lots of people in the EA orbit are persistently unhappy. And the solution to being persistently unhappy with a social arrangement or memeplex, usually, is to leave.
Famously, this often doesn't occur to the person suffering for a long time, if ever, even if it looks like the obvious correct choice from the outside.
What do I mean by leaving?
I don't mean "stop caring about doing good". If you've taken the Giving What We Can pledge, for example, I'd definitely keep it. What I mean is something more like "stop expecting EA to provide for any of your core needs." This includes, at least:
Social - have non-EA friends. Ideally have some be local. Talk about other stuff with them, mostly.
Financial - do not rely on EA funding sources for income that you couldn't do without. Don't apply for EA jobs.
Emotional - do not have a unidimensional sense of self-worth that boils down to "how am I scoring on a vague, amorphous impact scale as envisioned in EA terms".
Actually, that's probably about it. If you're persistently unhappy, and don't feel fulfilled socially, financially, or emotionally, stop doing those three things.
What are the upsides?
First, consider yourself. It's easy to take this idea too far, but the person you have the greatest responsibility for - except perhaps your children or in some niche situations your spouse - is yourself. You have direct access to your emotional state. If you're not flourishing, it is first and foremost your responsibility to address that. And addressing it is worth something, even in the EA framework.
Second, consider bias. I think there's a common story which goes something like:
Well I need to make sure I make a good impression on people at orgs X and Y, since I might want to work for them. But they have close relationships with Z and A. So I need to be rubbing elbows with those people, too. To do that it'll help for me to live in the most expensive city in the world, which makes it really important I don't irritate C and D, because I'll need substantial funding just to not burn through savings.
I didn't properly appreciate this for a long time, but I keep seeing people be nervous to like, seriously criticize EA, because their (aspirational) livelihoods depend on it.
This is very bad for epistemology. It may be the single worst thing for ep...