Welcome to The Nonlinear Library, where we use Text-to-Speech software to convert the best writing from the Rationalist and EA communities into audio. This is: Seven ways to become unstoppably agentic, published by Evie Cottrell on June 18, 2022 on The Effective Altruism Forum.
Thank you to Fin Moorhouse and Bella Forristal for helpful feedback on this post! Thanks to Fin for getting me so excited about writing this during coworking breaks that I struggled to focus on maths for the rest of the day.
Nearly all of the best things that have happened to me in the last year have been a result of actively seeking and asking for those things. I have slowly been developing the skill of agency.
By ‘agency’ I mean the ability to get what you want across different contexts – the general skill of coming up with ambitious goals and actually achieving them, whatever they are. In my experience, I’ve found this is learnable.
Neel Nanda explains the concept of agency really well in this blog post, so I won’t repeat it here. Instead, I’ll focus on how to learn it.
It’s worth acknowledging that agency is often socially discouraged in different minority groups. Speaking from my own experience, I used to feel shameful around being agentic – I associated it with being entitled or ‘too much’ or bossy – which seems to be a phenomenon that many women experience. I sometimes still have a voice in my head saying, “who do you think you are???” But, fortunately, I’m paying less and less attention to it.
In no particular order, nine ways I’ve found to become unstoppably agentic:
1. Figure out what you need, figure out who can help you get it, ask them for it
There will (nearly) always be people who can help you achieve your goals better. Find them and ask them to help you. They might say yes!
If you don’t ask, the answer is always no.
When I was self-studying for my A-Levels (UK high school exams), I reached out to an EA who I’d never met, asking to chat about why I was finding self-studying so hard. We ended up having a call, which I found extremely helpful. At the time, I had a huge ugh-field around my Anki flashcards, which he completely helped me clear up. I then started sending him my daily plan (after checking this was ok), which turned out to be a really valuable accountability system. He gave support and encouragement countless times over the few months. These daily check-ins were the best thing that could have happened to my A-Levels, and led me to feel way more supported throughout my time self-studying.
Having a low bar for asking for help is a learnable mindset. Now, whenever I encounter something difficult or aversive, my first thought is, “who would be the best person to have on my side here?” Then I begin to reach out to people who could help.
Things that make this hard in practice:
It’s hard to actually know what you want or need;
It’s hard to be creative about solutions and imagine how another person would help solve it;
It can be intimidating to ask the person;
You are making yourself vulnerable to rejection, which can feel crushing and bad.
Some tentative solutions:
Questions that help me figure out what I need: If this was easy, what would it look like? What is the bottleneck here and what can I do to solve it? What would it look like if I could do this with 10% of the time/ effort? What’s weighing on my mind? Whose advice would help me solve this problem? See this list of questions for more.
One suggestion is that you can ask people if they know anyone who can help you. I recently asked an EA for help with this, and they generated nearly ten people who I could reach out to. (Also see point number 7 about considering a wide option space to be creative about solutions.)
People can be scary! One thing to bear in mind though, is that EAs really love agency. So if the person you are asking for help is an EA, they’re likely to be impressed that you were so proactive. But, yup, it’s scary to put yourself out there. I really think it’s wort...