(1992 - 2022) Marina Staunchly, the fiery incandescent ethno-centrist philosophy professor pawning off anti-South Carolina rhetoric to those poor college kids down near Charleston, was found dead last night along with a heap of her loyal fawning flip-flop-less followers. They will be remembered for their inability to compromise, their relentless dogged search for regional purity, and their solid relationship with their professors. Their funeral will be held on Tuesday: government ID required to enter, unless you work for Fox News. Certain states not allowed.

feat:

HANNAH GOLUB - Marina Staunchly

TRICIA CRIMMINS - Sarah / Professor Benoit

WILL KOLLER - Tucker Carlson / Principal Jones

JOHN GOODMAN - The Devil / Mirtha

DAN KUAN PEEPLES - God / Lucille / Professor Sorbonne

music by GREG BERG

theme song by AARON SHAPIRO

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