There is a specific kind of exhaustion that does not come from workload. It comes from living under an internal verdict. Not good enough. Not worthy. Not capable. Leaders can deliver results while quietly chasing approval from a story they accepted long before they had the awareness to question it. Because it often looks like ambition and high standards, we reward it. We call it leadership.

In this episode of Reflect Forward, I sit down with Curtis McCullom, CEO of Bespoke Human Potential Coaching and a clinical hypnotherapist, to explore what actually drives behavior beneath performance. Curtis introduces his Legit Mindset framework, learning, growing, expanding, and transforming. The sequence matters. Learning reveals what is running you. Growing releases emotional charge at the root. Expanding clarifies who you are becoming. Transforming requires daily reconditioning. Transformation is not a moment. It is a practice.

Key Takeaways

• Most performance issues are rooted in subconscious programming, not lack of effort.

• Behavior is a pattern, not an identity.

• Regulating the nervous system is a leadership skill.

• Responsibility restores power, not shame.

• Lasting transformation requires daily repetition, not a single breakthrough.

We challenge one of the most common leadership myths. Most leaders are not stuck because they lack discipline or strategy. They are stuck because an old program is still running. Behavior is not identity. You are not broken. You are running a pattern. When that distinction lands, shame falls away and responsibility returns.

We also explore triggers and nervous system regulation. A trigger feels external, but it is internal information. Owning it does not excuse others. It restores agency. Responsibility is not blame. Responsibility is power. And when the body is activated, the mind is not choosing. It is executing a script. Calm the body first, then the thinking can change.

Language becomes another doorway to ownership. Shifting from “I am not enough” to “I am feeling not enough” separates identity from experience and opens better questions. Not why am I like this, but what is driving this right now and how do I want to respond.

This conversation is a reminder that goals alone do not create change. Goals planted in bad soil only grow more weeds. Without addressing the emotional root, leaders simply repeat patterns at a higher level. Real change comes from releasing what is running you and reinforcing what you choose daily.

Mic Drop Moments

• Responsibility is not blame. Responsibility is power.

• If you are activated, you are not choosing. You are executing a script.

• Behavior is not identity. You are not broken. You are running a pattern.

• Goals planted in bad soil only grow more weeds.

• Transformation is not a breakthrough moment. It is a daily practice.

This episode is an invitation to stop executing old scripts and start choosing who you are becoming.

Connect with Curtis

YouTube: https://youtube.com/@curtismccullom

Website: http://www.bespokehumanpotentialcoaching.com/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/curtis-mccullom/

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/BespokeHumanPotential

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/curtis.mccullom.BHPC/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/curtis.mccullom/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/curtisBmccullom

TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@curtismccullom

Connect with Kerry

Visit my website, kerrysiggins.com, to explore my book, The Ownership Mindset, and get more leadership resources. Let’s connect on LinkedIn, Instagram, or TikTok!

Find Reflect Forward on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@kerrysiggins-reflectforward

Find out more about my book here: https://kerrysiggins.com/the-ownership-mindset/

Connect with me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kerry-siggins/