When Phil Cohen’s 14-year-old son disappeared at sea, the world watched the largest civilian Coast Guard search in history unfold. For seven days he lived in the space between hope and hell—and nothing in his life would ever be the same.

In this raw, unfiltered conversation, Phil (“The Grief Guy”) opens up about what really happened, how grief shattered him, and the moment everything changed. This episode digs into guilt, fatherhood, faith, masculinity, survival, and what happens when a man decides to stop running from the storm and start facing it.

This is not a story about “moving on.”

It’s a story about growing through the unimaginable—and then helping others do the same.

In This Episode

• The phone call that changed Phil’s life forever

• What it’s like to be 30,000 feet in the air while your son is missing in the ocean

• The surreal reality of seven days with no answers

• What most people misunderstand about men and grief

• The guilt every grieving parent carries—and why it’s almost never fair

• Why society gathers around the mother and isolates the father

• How grief destroys your identity, career, and relationships

• The moment Phil collapsed—and the moment something told him to get up

• Why facing grief is like running into a storm

• The truth about masculinity, faith, and what “being strong” really means

• How Phil became “The Grief Guy” and why helping others saved him

• The Inner Garden: the framework he built to help people heal

• What grief feels like ten years later

• How to serve the person you once were

Links & Resources Mentioned

Phil Cohen’s Website & Programs

• Phil’s website:

https://www.philcohen.com

• The Inner Garden Program (mentioned in the episode): https://www.philcohen.com/innergarden

(If this URL changes or needs updating, I can adjust.)

Phil on Social Media

• TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@philthegriefguy

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thegriefguyphil

Phil’s TEDx Talk

Books/Ideas Referenced

• The Obstacle Is the Way by Ryan Holiday

• The Buffalo & Cow Storm Metaphor (origin often attributed to leadership teachings; Phil uses it in grief work)

• EMDR Therapy (Eye Movement Desensitization & Reprocessing)

• Apologetics (Phil’s mention of studying the intellectual foundation of faith)

Timestamps

00:00 – Meeting Phil for the first time

01:00 – Growing a platform by talking about the hard stuff

01:40 – Who Phil was before the tragedy

02:10 – The storm, the boys, and the search

04:50 – The moment hope shifted

06:00 – The emotional torture of uncertainty

08:30 – Society’s silence around grief

09:40 – The guilt every grieving father faces

12:00 – Losing friends, family, and identity

16:00 – Numbing, coping, avoiding

20:00 – What the five stages don’t explain

23:00 – Why people don’t show up when you need them

29:30 – The masculinity trap: “I have to be strong”

33:00 – Why guilt feels easier than accepting chaos

37:00 – The moment Phil heard his son’s voice

40:00 – The buffalo, the cow, and running toward the storm

44:00 – Serving others as a path out of the darkness

49:00 – The power of purpose after loss

55:00 – The leap from grief to coaching

59:30 – The TEDx talk that changed everything

1:05:00 – Faith, skepticism, and apologetics

1:10:00 – What grief looks like a decade later

1:14:00 – Where to find Phil’s work

If You’re Grieving

This episode is not a blueprint. It’s a companion.

If you’re in the darkness, you’re not alone. There’s a world of men learning how to carry the weight, and learning that pain doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means you’re human.

If you’re a grieving man, or love one who is, please grab the 6 Moments Every Grieving Man Must Master. It’s totally free and my hope is it will help you handle grief better.

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.leadingthroughloss.tools