This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.leadingthroughloss.tools

What happens to a person when the place that’s supposed to keep them safe… isn’t?

In this raw conversation, Jonathan Fennell opens up about growing up in chaos, living with hypervigilance, loving a brother in crisis, and trying to build a life while carrying trauma that never fully lets go.

EPISODE SUMMARY

In this episode of Leading Through Loss, Jason sits down with Jonathan Fennell, whose childhood was shaped by instability, untreated mental illness, and responsibilities no child should ever be asked to carry. Jonathan describes the early chaos that rewired his nervous system and the vigilance that followed him into adulthood — into relationships, leadership, work, and daily life.

The two discuss what happens when the coping strategies that once kept you safe become the very things that limit your ability to connect, trust, and feel grounded. Jonathan also shares the painful journey of supporting his brother through addiction, incarceration, and ultimately loss — and the grief of mourning not just a person, but the future you hoped they might reach.

This conversation is unfiltered, human, and deeply relatable for anyone who grew up doing more emotional labor than their age made sense for — and who’s now trying to build stability in a body that still expects danger.

WHY THIS EPISODE MATTERS

This episode is for you if:

* You grew up in a home where safety wasn’t guaranteed

* You’ve lived with hypervigilance or emotional reactivity you can’t always explain

* You’ve supported a loved one through addiction or mental illness

* You’re trying to lead, parent, or love while carrying unresolved trauma

* You want a deeper understanding of grief, empathy, and emotional safety

If any of those land, you’re in the right place.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

* Loss needs room — avoiding it strengthens its hold.

* Naming emotions is the first step toward loosening their grip.

* Childhood trauma often becomes adult hypervigilance.

* Empathy doesn’t mean approval; it means understanding.

* People in crisis need your presence more than your solutions.

* Coping strategies that protected you as a kid can limit you as an adult.

* Families often pull away when someone struggles — the opposite of what’s needed.

* Healing requires knowing what you want, not just what you survived.

* Tiny moments of joy matter, especially when life is heavy.

CHAPTERS

00:00 — Introduction to Jonathan

03:06 — Loss, vulnerability, and early instability

06:03 — Growing up inside a family in crisis

09:08 — Childhood trauma and the origins of hypervigilance

11:49 — Coping mechanisms that bleed into adulthood

14:56 — Trust, relationships, and emotional safety

17:56 — Searching for stability after a chaotic childhood

20:53 — Naming truth: agency, fear, and survival

23:32 — Supporting a brother through addiction and incarceration

26:54 — Mental health, choice, and consequence

29:45 — The layered complexity of grief

32:45 — Creating a future informed by — not ruled by — the past

35:39 — Showing up for people who are struggling

43:56 — Heartbreak, responsibility, and family dynamics

45:51 — How trauma shows up in work and leadership

49:11 — Making space for real conversations

50:38 — Why we misread other people’s intentions

54:23 — The human story behind “bad decisions”

55:48 — What true support looks like

01:00:39 — Grace, perspective, and self-compassion

01:05:33 — Triggers, agency, and unlearning

01:11:42 — Carrying loss while trying to live fully

01:19:48 — Finding moments of joy in hardship

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.leadingthroughloss.tools

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.leadingthroughloss.tools

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.leadingthroughloss.tools

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.leadingthroughloss.tools

When Phil Cohen’s 14-year-old son disappeared at sea, the world watched the largest civilian Coast Guard search in history unfold. For seven days he lived in the space between hope and hell—and nothing in his life would ever be the same.

In this raw, unfiltered conversation, Phil (“The Grief Guy”) opens up about what really happened, how grief shattered him, and the moment everything changed. This episode digs into guilt, fatherhood, faith, masculinity, survival, and what happens when a man decides to stop running from the storm and start facing it.

This is not a story about “moving on.”

It’s a story about growing through the unimaginable—and then helping others do the same.

In This Episode

• The phone call that changed Phil’s life forever

• What it’s like to be 30,000 feet in the air while your son is missing in the ocean

• The surreal reality of seven days with no answers

• What most people misunderstand about men and grief

• The guilt every grieving parent carries—and why it’s almost never fair

• Why society gathers around the mother and isolates the father

• How grief destroys your identity, career, and relationships

• The moment Phil collapsed—and the moment something told him to get up

• Why facing grief is like running into a storm

• The truth about masculinity, faith, and what “being strong” really means

• How Phil became “The Grief Guy” and why helping others saved him

• The Inner Garden: the framework he built to help people heal

• What grief feels like ten years later

• How to serve the person you once were

Links & Resources Mentioned

Phil Cohen’s Website & Programs

• Phil’s website:

https://www.philcohen.com

• The Inner Garden Program (mentioned in the episode): https://www.philcohen.com/innergarden

(If this URL changes or needs updating, I can adjust.)

Phil on Social Media

• TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@philthegriefguy

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thegriefguyphil

Phil’s TEDx Talk

Books/Ideas Referenced

• The Obstacle Is the Way by Ryan Holiday

• The Buffalo & Cow Storm Metaphor (origin often attributed to leadership teachings; Phil uses it in grief work)

• EMDR Therapy (Eye Movement Desensitization & Reprocessing)

• Apologetics (Phil’s mention of studying the intellectual foundation of faith)

Timestamps

00:00 – Meeting Phil for the first time

01:00 – Growing a platform by talking about the hard stuff

01:40 – Who Phil was before the tragedy

02:10 – The storm, the boys, and the search

04:50 – The moment hope shifted

06:00 – The emotional torture of uncertainty

08:30 – Society’s silence around grief

09:40 – The guilt every grieving father faces

12:00 – Losing friends, family, and identity

16:00 – Numbing, coping, avoiding

20:00 – What the five stages don’t explain

23:00 – Why people don’t show up when you need them

29:30 – The masculinity trap: “I have to be strong”

33:00 – Why guilt feels easier than accepting chaos

37:00 – The moment Phil heard his son’s voice

40:00 – The buffalo, the cow, and running toward the storm

44:00 – Serving others as a path out of the darkness

49:00 – The power of purpose after loss

55:00 – The leap from grief to coaching

59:30 – The TEDx talk that changed everything

1:05:00 – Faith, skepticism, and apologetics

1:10:00 – What grief looks like a decade later

1:14:00 – Where to find Phil’s work

If You’re Grieving

This episode is not a blueprint. It’s a companion.

If you’re in the darkness, you’re not alone. There’s a world of men learning how to carry the weight, and learning that pain doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means you’re human.

If you’re a grieving man, or love one who is, please grab the 6 Moments Every Grieving Man Must Master. It’s totally free and my hope is it will help you handle grief better.

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.leadingthroughloss.tools

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.leadingthroughloss.tools

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.leadingthroughloss.tools

Lenny Hunt’s story begins with an ordinary moment every parent knows—a quick glance into the backseat to share a smile with his son.

Seconds later, both of his boys were gone.

What followed wasn’t healing. It was survival. For years, Lenny lived in the wreckage—haunted by guilt, drowning in self-punishment, and convinced he didn’t deserve to be alive. But slowly, through heartbreak, faith, and brutal honesty, he learned what it means to rebuild from nothing.

In this raw, unforgettable conversation, Lenny joins Jason to talk about the cost of avoiding grief—and the unexpected beauty of learning to walk with it. Together, they use a Jenga tower to illustrate what really collapses after loss: not only the person you loved, but your confidence, friendships, joy, and sense of purpose.

What’s left standing tells the truth about resilience.

Key Moments:

[00:00] – A brutal grief day. Jason opens the episode admitting he almost canceled. What follows becomes a real-time demonstration of what it means to show up anyway.

[02:00] – “Every parent’s nightmare.” Lenny recounts the day of the accident that claimed the lives of his sons, Dawson and Devin. His final memory of them—and the moment that changed everything.

[08:30] – Survivor’s guilt and the mask we wear. Why Lenny spent years hiding the scar on his forehead and how shame shaped the way he moved through the world.

[10:45] – Self-destruction disguised as survival. The years of poor decisions, addiction, and self-punishment that followed—and the moment he realized he didn’t believe he deserved anything better.

[17:15] – A glimmer of light. How a phone call, a move across states, and meeting the woman who would become his wife began to rebuild his life.

[24:50] – “You recognized it.” Lenny reframes Jason’s hard grief day as a powerful moment of awareness—the first step toward healing.

[28:30] – The Jenga demonstration. A masterclass in grief education: Lenny shows how secondary losses—confidence, sleep, joy, relationships, optimism—slowly dismantle our structure until one more piece sends it all crashing down.

[44:00] – The myth of “no right or wrong way to grieve.” Lenny challenges one of the most common and harmful clichés about grief.

[50:40] – Grief days vs. secondary loss days. Why understanding the difference can change how you move through healing—and help you stop confusing emotional exhaustion with grief itself.

[53:50] – “Good grief” vs. “ugly grief.” What it really means to walk with loss instead of letting it own you.

[58:50] – Faith, doubt, and surrender. Jason opens up about his unexpected pull toward Christianity; Lenny shares how his belief carried him through the years after the accident.

[1:06:40] – Triggers that never fade. How grief still shows up for Lenny years later—in traffic, in movies, in the quiet moments before the holidays—and how love helps him through.

[1:09:30] – Hope and invitation. Lenny closes with a reminder that healing doesn’t mean being “over it”—it means learning to live with what’s missing.

You’ll Hear:

* The single moment that rewired Lenny’s life—and what survivor’s guilt really sounds like

* Why hiding his scar became a metaphor for every mask we wear in grief

* The difference between good grief and ugly grief—and how to know which one you’re living in

* Why “there’s no right or wrong way to grieve” might be the most dangerous lie we tell ourselves

* How to tell the difference between a grief day and a secondary loss day

* How faith, love, and human connection helped him start over

Connect with Lenny:

🌐 LennyHuntCoaching.com — Learn about his 12-week Good Grief coaching program.

💬 The Good Grief Group — Join his online healing community. Use coupon code MANDOWN for a free month!

🎥 TikTok | YouTube — Follow his viral grief education and talks.

🎙️ Listen to this one when you’re tired of being told to “move on.”

It’s not about letting go. It’s about learning how to carry it.

Conversations with people like Lenny remind me how many men are silently fighting battles they don’t know how to win.

Most men try to think their way out of pain. I did too. Hell, I still do at times.

10 Hard Truths Every Man Needs to Hear About Grief is the guide I wish I’d had.

It’s straight talk about what grief does to you, and how to stop getting stuck in it.

And it’s totally free.

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.leadingthroughloss.tools

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.leadingthroughloss.tools