In 2004, my son and I met Arlo Guthrie on a sidewalk in Tacoma, Washington. He autographed my lucky two-dollar bill, the one my Uncle Jeff Weiss (the eminent coin collector) awarded me in 1983 as an afikomen prize.

I explained to him that Random’s fourth-grade history project was on Woodie Guthrie. Arlo offered this, “My dad was a really cool guy.”

Before he stepped into the venue, and even thought he had only known me for a few seconds, he called back, “seems like yours is a cool guy too.”

Alice’s Restaurant is my earliest spoken word inspiration. I first performed it at Hirdstock when I was eighteen, the same age Arlo Guthrie was when he got arrested for littering.

In this tribute, I took liberties with grammar fixes, slightly dissimilar backgrounds, and my own vocal intonation. The result is a darker saga, but I believe the times call for this.

You can listen here on Substack, but it’s also available wherever you get podcasts by searching the phrase: Olympia Radio Company.

In this episode, Dr. Roger Sty Bantam takes on his critics, and fights back. 

In this episode, Dr. Roger Sty Bantam gets real.


••••••••••••••••••

Artwork by Arrington de Dionyso.

Music by Oleg Byonic and Faith No More.

Script loosely based on the angry meltdown Allen Silberhartz had when asked if he was aware that a growing segment of The Bridging Heaven and Earth audience thought his show was a work of satire.

https://www.encyclopedia.com/science/encyclopedias-almanacs-transcripts-and-maps/silberhartz-allen-1947

•••••••••••••••••••••


I’ve been told that there’s an increasing number of you who listen to this program ironically. You think this is a work of satire. You consider me deep in a character. I’ve been told that you are now the majority of my audience.

This is unfortunate. It’s unfortunate because you’re wrong. You’re all very, very wrong. 

I’m not doing this to make anyone laugh. I do this because I believe in the power of our work, work that is singular, not a multi-layered work of comedy.

So, to those of you who say that this is a parody of mystical healing, or a commentary on New Age therapies, I’m going to tell you something. 

You’re wrong.

I’ve had it with your allegations.

THIS PROGRAM IS NOT A JOKE.

And, if you dare say that this program is a joke, I will give you one chance to surrender that perspective, re-join this community, and take your place submissive to The God Tiger. 

If you can’t take this direction, if you continue to question me, you’re missing the point, you’re missing an opportunity to heal. 

If you continue to act out and broadcast conspiracies about me, it’s beyond unfortunate, you’re ruining the experience for others. I will not allow you to do this, and if you continue, I will be forced to take drastic action.

This program is not a joke. This program is the singular bright power opening the forbidden wilderness of deep discovery. I’m not about to let a few clowns dismantle everything I’ve built. 

Let me break it down for you. All jokes, all comedy, all so-called “funny funniness” is and has always been an over-champagning of the unholy, an expression of deep-seeded je vaunt. The functional material of humor is a rash befountment ejaculated by troubled pseudo-people caught in the glue of reticulation. Comedians are stunning on a brick sundae, but perpetuating the poison of original sin, the corruption caused by Eve, the woman, the evil woman who tempted Adam with an apple.

To those of you who have been tempted, I invite you, I implore you, come back. Don’t follow comedians, they’re lost, comedians have lost their connection to The God Tiger, lost their souls to the infection of a satanic greying, a sickness rooted in the weakness of puerility, and stringer. 

I was concerned that saying that would only give credence to the naysayers. That’s why I hadn’t spoken up sooner. I didn’t want to add an ounce of liquid to their idiotic river, their crackling cackles of witchy mishigas. These barking dogs are more than unsettling, they’re the epitome of evility. I’m ready now. I’m ready to fight. I’m ready to fight with my words. I’m ready to stick a finger in to this whole, claptrap, all of it. 

I’m ready to clean the air with clear air. Here's some clear air: The world is sick. This audience is sick. You are sick. I am the cure. I’m not your jester. I’m your doctor. I offer the medicine to a galactic illness that is plaquing the universe. Take my hand. It’s time for your total mental surrender.

The piece I recorded today isn't one I wrote, but it conveys my thoughts on the subject of lost love, and it has nostalgic significance.

First, my thoughts. When we lose someone we love, a possession, an old t-shirt, a paper boat, a chair, can help maintain a place in our minds where that love continues, where we can still feel it. That place is dusk, neither day or night. In the city, in the fast-paced world, it’s not easy to even perceive the actual dusk, let alone have space for an emotional one.

I’m forever grateful for this story that weaves together a tale of a lost love with how difficult it can be to feel that loss in the modern rat race.
 
As for the nostalgia, as a teenager I listened to the weirdest radio I could find, and nothing was stranger than the multi-layered experimental audio collages played late at night on WFUV. That’s where I first heard 2NU. Ponderous was their big hit, but my favorite will always be Frank’s Chair. When I first heard it, I thought, this is exactly the kind of thing I want to make. All these years later, it's nice to cover the track that started it all for me. 
 
This cover is an homage to my mentors Michael Nealy and Jock Blaney who wrote and originally recorded Frank’s Chair in 1990. Thanks guys for helping me find my voice.
 
Here’s yours sent back from mine.


---David
 
 
 MUSIC CREDITS: Shinrin-Yoku by Sensitize, Billions and Billions by Stellardrone, Inside Out Flower by Kicking Giant, "Ég heyrði allt án þess að hlusta" (A Winged Victory For The Sullen Rework) by Jóhann Jóhannsson,  Like a River Runs by Sia (a cover of the song originally written/recorded by Bleachers).
 

I wrote this song because I wanted a song that everyone liked. 

This song is good. There’s nothing about it that’s bad. It’s something that everyone, everyone likes. Every note, every lyric, even this one, has been carefully set down to prevent anyone from not liking it. It’s perfectly enjoyable… a big, cloud, of, endlessly perfect music. 

The reason everyone likes this song is that it’s good. The music is good. The lyrics are good. They’re hard to understand, but that’s because they’re deep. These are deep, important lyrics; they’re profoundly important and they’re deeply profound.

I want to make music that everyone likes. You can listen to it at work. You can put on my music when you’re having a party. You could use this song in a commercial. You could sell anything. Anything you want.

If you own a store, you could pipe this into your loudspeakers. If you own a factory, it’ll motivate your workers. If you own a record label, just know, I’ll literally do whatever you want. I’m serious. 

I’ll do anything to make my music more enjoyable. I’m willing to delete everything, including this song. I can change the name of the band. I don’t care. I’m desperate. All that matters is that everyone loves my music, and everyone buys it.

This is music. This is my music. You like this song. You like it, right? Everyone likes this song. Everyone likes my music.

[Spoken over “Legends After the Fall” by Matt Pond PA on their 2017 album Still Summer]

Dr. Roger Sty Bantam is an ordained Christian Therapist and Mystical Healer certified with Gehgiah, parent company and seminary supporting The Healing Journey Radio Program. In this episode, Dr. Bantam offers listeners an overview of Christian Therapy, and a guided meditation to assist in the important work of ending sin once and for all. WARNING: in this episode, listeners are exposed to DANGEROUS HYPNOTIC SUGGESTIONS, SUBLIMINAL MESSAGES, medium and high levels of modulated frequencies between 4 and 7 megahertz. The additional content of this so-called “podcast” is designed to make the  experience less tedious (more exuberant). This has been proven by the State of California to have adverse health effects. Listeners are advised to consult a physician before continuing. Medium and high levels of modulated frequencies have been classified as a prescription medication that causes dizziness, upset stomach, rumination, nausea, pica, vomiting, chills, loose bowels, postpartum depression, encopresis, selective mütan, eating, diarrhea, constipation, dissociative amnesia, wetlands, frotteurism, enuresis, oppositional defiance, circadian narcolepsy, OCD, PTSD, WD-40, domestic anxiety, hoarding, pyromania, trichotillomania, kleptomania, sleeplessness, sleep, fever, and premature suicide. By continuing, you are agreeing that you understand this warning, that you are an adult over the age of 26 and have agreed to waive findings of fault, damage reparations or legal claims.

MUSIC CREDITS: Bad To The Bone (written by George Thorogood & The Destroyers) cover by Harnish, Movement V by Vangelis, Canis Lupus by Alexandre Desplat, Gargantua by Ummet Ozcan, Crucifixion by John Debney, Bad To The Bone (written by George Thorogood & The Destroyers) cover by Jordan Corey.

"You must give up sinning and you have been sinning quite a lot, haven’t you? What does it mean to give up sinning? This means no more chasing carnalized pleasurines, no more winding the wicked hands on the pelvic clock, no more paraphilics, no more inhalation of smokables, no more coffee-flavored tipple, no more hasturbance, no more mental hom-a-sexuality, no more fake vacations in painted sunsets. Giving up sins like this means being good, and being good will allow you the opportunity to enter the everlasting kingdom of the afterlife in Heaven where you will stand before God. God will open his gigantic eyes and look deeply into your mind. You will look away. You will look at God’s arms, and you will see in his left hand, a hard and sinister fistula shaped like a hammer, the gavel of execration. And, in his right hand you will see another largesse, this one soft, and shaped like a cross. This is the key to the pearly gates. If you’ve lived a good life, God will list his right hand and with his fundamental flower, he will open the pearly gates. You will receive wings and a tiny harp. You will join in a chorus of angels and sing for eternity, never sleeping, always singing, floating in the clouds, you will join most of the members of the Velvet Underground. Not the Jewish one, not Andy Warhol, but Nico will be there, and the Catholic Moe Tucker. BUT, if you’ve been bad, if you’ve sinned, you WILL be sent down, DOWN to Hell with Lou Reed. If the hard gavel in God’s left hand falls, you will fall into anathema, the malison underworld, to the pits of perdition. In Hell, you will endure pain every minute, and every minute, the pain will double. It will be endlessly excruciating. You will wallow in a hot rubber swamp with the other sinners, sweating in a malediction of throbbing body odor, greased with the excretions of suffering. That will be your path if you don’t beg Jesus right now for mercy, for forgiveness. That will be your path if you don’t stop sinning. So, stop. Stop sinning. Stop now while there’s still time. Please, I implore you, stop sinning, stop now. It’s time to make yourself submissive to Jesus..."

This is a short promo for a 50-year project to create an archive of the oral history of Frost Valley, a five-thousand-acre camp in the southern Catskills in New York State, one of America’s oldest and largest summer camps. It’s large by its physical size and large by its capacity, it easily can fit over 800 campers and several hundred staff. By upstate New York standards, it’s a small city. This episode featured Sylvie Morgan Brown, Dari Litchman, Bud Cox, Hadley Lewis, Brian Butler, Lee Chapman, Carole Paterson, Jeff Daly, Mikia Eatman, Linea Glick, Jon Turer, Love Dahan, Jerry Huncosky, Heather Graff Noon, Caroline Koenig McCallum, Stella McCallum, Malik Jenkins, Robbie Sherman as played by Jonathon Dahan, Peggy Rub, Matt Buczek, Alex Papouchis, Josh Tucker and  David Scherer Water.  

PILLOW TALK  •  a weekly discussion on the technical side of modern pillow manufacturing • EPISODE No. 30 • Hosted by Jackson Barnes and Pete Chramiec • with Rhoda Donkin, Jasper Llee, Crescent Calimpong, Ben Michaelis and introducing David Scherer Water

Dr. Roger Sty Bantam explores the force AND the power of the dark side in this short treatise on Hollywood's greatest franchise. A surprise ending? Hardly. Take his hand, release your anger and rule the universe as father and son, all in under seven minutes. This  guy is efficient, and one of ORC's top earners. 

For all my friends at home this weekend missing our planned gathering at the place we call our truest home, I give you:

FROST VALLEY SOUNDS

On the seldom trafficked outskirts of Frost Valley just before the terrain becomes the gradual ascent towards Double Top, I found a small red boulder in Pigeon Brook dancing back and forth against a larger blue one. It made a lovely little noise. Then I walked to the dining hall and from there a campfire. We heard monsters in the dark. We sang back to them. This is audio photography from the 2015 reunion, a sonic companion for "FV: Finding The Way Back” by Al Filreis and Jody Ketcham.Build Strong,David (Vanamee-Hermes-Radio Dave) Scherer Water

Originally recorded in 2014, re-mastered in 2020.