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The Ornament I Forgot: On Gratitude, Regret, and Waking Up to What Matters
This week, I couldn't lock in a guest—and honestly, I've been struggling to lock in much of anything lately. Backsliding on habits, drowning in self-blame, stuck in the gap between where I am and where I want to be.
Then, while decorating the Christmas tree, I realized I'd completely forgotten one of my son's ornaments. The one he made at five years old. The one with his tiny handprint pressed into paint. He's 19 now. He's moved out. That time is gone.
In this solo episode, I explore:
- The cruel irony of finally waking up to what matters while everyone around you is on screens
- Why holiday traditions are more than corporate capitalism—they're markers that say "this matters, these people matter"
- How Leonard Cohen's "Anthem" taught me to forget my perfect offering and ring the bells that still can ring
- What it means to practice gratitude not as toxic positivity, but as returning—again and again—to what's real
- How to hold creative work (like this podcast) with mindfulness instead of getting lost in numbers and ego
I share what I'm genuinely grateful for: my wife's patience through financial hardship, my kids' loving hearts, the four guests who've trusted me with their stories, the miracles hiding in plain sight (like a full rainbow on a delivery day).
This isn't about maintaining gratitude in adversity. It's about returning to it. Coming back. That's the practice.
Featuring readings from Leonard Cohen's "Anthem," 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, and closing with Thich Nhat Hanh's reminder that the real miracle isn't walking on water—it's walking on earth.
If you're in the gap too, I'd love to hear from you.
—
📬 Share your story: Leave a comment or review—I read every one
🎙️ Previous guests: My mom on forgiveness, Kate on surviving abuse, Rafi on loss and art, my brother on gentle spirits in a harsh world
🙏 Gratitude: Thank you for walking on this earth with me
Want to share a thought?
Support the show
🔗 All links: https://linktr.ee/standingnowhere
🎧 Listen on your favorite app
💬 Join our community on Discord
📩 Email: [email protected]
(Tap “Support the show” above to become a Patron — thank you!)
View all episodes
By Jacob BuehlerThis week, I couldn't lock in a guest—and honestly, I've been struggling to lock in much of anything lately. Backsliding on habits, drowning in self-blame, stuck in the gap between where I am and where I want to be.
Then, while decorating the Christmas tree, I realized I'd completely forgotten one of my son's ornaments. The one he made at five years old. The one with his tiny handprint pressed into paint. He's 19 now. He's moved out. That time is gone.
In this solo episode, I explore:
- The cruel irony of finally waking up to what matters while everyone around you is on screens
- Why holiday traditions are more than corporate capitalism—they're markers that say "this matters, these people matter"
- How Leonard Cohen's "Anthem" taught me to forget my perfect offering and ring the bells that still can ring
- What it means to practice gratitude not as toxic positivity, but as returning—again and again—to what's real
- How to hold creative work (like this podcast) with mindfulness instead of getting lost in numbers and ego
I share what I'm genuinely grateful for: my wife's patience through financial hardship, my kids' loving hearts, the four guests who've trusted me with their stories, the miracles hiding in plain sight (like a full rainbow on a delivery day).
This isn't about maintaining gratitude in adversity. It's about returning to it. Coming back. That's the practice.
Featuring readings from Leonard Cohen's "Anthem," 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, and closing with Thich Nhat Hanh's reminder that the real miracle isn't walking on water—it's walking on earth.
If you're in the gap too, I'd love to hear from you.
—
📬 Share your story: Leave a comment or review—I read every one
🎙️ Previous guests: My mom on forgiveness, Kate on surviving abuse, Rafi on loss and art, my brother on gentle spirits in a harsh world
🙏 Gratitude: Thank you for walking on this earth with me
Want to share a thought?
Support the show
🔗 All links: https://linktr.ee/standingnowhere
🎧 Listen on your favorite app
💬 Join our community on Discord
📩 Email: [email protected]
(Tap “Support the show” above to become a Patron — thank you!)