Today’s issue is available to read, listen or watch. The audio/video versions expand on the themes in the text, which I really just use as speaking notes. Choose your format preference ✌🏼

I apologize for keeping you waiting 🙏🏻

In late 2023, I launched this newsletter with the intent to offer regular writing on a range of topics including leadership, complexity, dialogue and the emergent issues of the metacrisis. Around the time I launched it, I also received a series of life-threatening health diagnoses.

So, I haven’t produced content regularly at all. This is the first piece I’ve published on Substack in nearly a year.

Today, I am writing to share that this is about to change :) So please, watch this space, and expect to see the other side of complexity showing up more regularly in your mailbox, YouTube or Substack app starting this week. But first, I want to share about the year I’ve had.

The last 16 months was filled with disruption and surprises.

Where I’ve been

One night in November 2023 I went to the hospital because of some pain I was experiencing. They sent me for a CT scan. The radiologist couldn’t see a cause for my pain, but he did spot an unruptured Aortic aneurysm in my abdomen. A couple of months later, I learned about a second aneurysm on my Aortic root. Then I learned it was all caused by a hereditary connective tissue disorder that’s been in my family for a few generations. I suddenly had what felt like a new full-time job managing my health: going to tests and appointments, and eventually undergoing two major surgeries while my family was screened for the same condition.

Through my diagnosis, I’ve found answers to some health mysteries I’ve been seeking resolution for most of my life. Aneurysms are one consequence of living with the connective tissue disorder I’ve been diagnosed with, but the generator problem driving the disorder is the body’s inability to synthesize the collagen protein normally.

All bodies need to synthesize collagen to make connective tissue. My collagen proteins are sort of like counterfeit collagen. They’re different, and stretchier than typical collagen. This causes elasticity in veins and arteries which leads to aneurysms. Collagen is in virtually all the body tissues, so many body systems are affected. Injuries like pulled muscles can happen more easily and are more challenging to recover from. I've lived with chronic pain without a cause since I was a teenager, and in the last year I’ve come to understand why. I’ve also come to learn more about the long term prospects for people living with this condition. More on that… at some point. Just not today.

Current Health Status

My most recent surgery was 19 days ago. I spent a few days in the hospital recovering, followed by a week at my sister’s. I’ve been recovering at my home, here in Halifax, ever since. I’ll be recovering for a while still. I don’t have energy for much right now. It still feels like I’ve just been stabbed in the stomach.

I do have the energy to write.

Beyond having the energy to write, I am thrilled to be alive.

The surgeries I underwent were high-risk surgeries. Knowing this, waking up in the post-surgery recovery room two-and-a-half weeks ago was a joy.

“I get to keep going!” was my first thought.

Then some of my closest people came to mind, and the thought became “we get to keep going!”

And, I am thrilled to reclaim this project now both aneurysms have been repaired, and the risk of a sudden Aortic rupture has been drastically reduced.

And, it’s a strange time to be coming back to life. I’ve been watching and reading more world news than usual, and more local news than usual. It looks sad out there from here.

What to expect in the coming days/weeks

I have writing to share. The writing falls in a couple of categories, which will shift and expands as new issues emerge.

Health journey reflections

I have shared much of this writing with friends already. My intention in writing about my health journey is to make sense of the experience I’ve been through for myself. It turns out that sharing how I’m making sense of my own experience has helped others make sense of their own experiences navigating hard things, and in turn helped me make even greater sense of my own experience. Sensemaking is a group project! We need one another to make sense of our lives.

Evolving Canadian nationalism

As you have likely heard, Canada is being threatened with annexation by the American President. This has created a resurgence of Canadian nationalism, and some degree of solidarity in our politics and the economy. Already, however, that unity is starting to splinter. Here are a handful of thoughts that are top of mind for me that I’ll be integrating into the writing I’ll share in the coming days.

* Over the last two decades, polarization has increased in Canadian politics. None of the events of the last six weeks have addressed the core drivers of polarization.

* Nationalism is already being used to justify things that reasonable Canadians disagree on (e.g. removing environmental protections, or ‘red tape’ as it’s sometimes called). In the case of my province, nationalism is already being used as justification for dismantling the democratic guard rails that provide checks and balances on our government.

* Retaliatory measures don’t make sense. They benefit neither country’s citizens, and retaliation escalates conflict.

* Fear-based nationalism is not the same as patriotic love.

And here we are, being attacked for our nationhood.

So, a set of questions I’m exploring on this topic are these:

* What would a conscious, evolved form of Canadian nationalism involve?

* What would it mean to reclaim our Canadian identity consciously?

* What does it mean to be a Canadian in a world facing a growing number of ccatastrophicand existential threats?

Second Drafts

These are the two main topics I’m focused on currently. I’ll be sharing some second drafts of content that I’ve already posted on some platform somewhere, and wanted to revisit, revise and republish. And there will be some one-off pieces on creativity, leadership and music.

Until next time,

Mark